Sweetheart, a lot is in your point of view. I turned 40 two days ago, and I am 16 weeks pregnant. My son will be 2 in just over three months.

Coming into marriage and family later, I know I have a much more relaxed and easygoing view than I would have in my 20s. I may have a harder time recovering physically, etc, but I am really well set up in almost every other way.

I am astonished at the joys that have been brought into my life with becoming a wife and mother, and it has been extremely good for me to have to slow down and look at “being in the now” so that I can enjoy my children to the max, so that I can take in the experiences of being with them and being a mom to the fullest.

I too worry about the future… How will I ever retire? (I likely won’t! lol!) Will I get to be a grandma? (I plan on it.) And so on.

I find that making plans for my children’s futures helps – life insurance for myself and hubby, setting up educational savings right now when they are very little, etc. I also have started doing much better about taking care of myself so that I can take care of them – as a busy careerperson, my physical and mental wellbeing often never made my list of priorities, which is a shame. That is not the case now, and I am a *lot* better for it.

I personally thought it was an absolute hoot to ring in a landmark birthday with a pregnant belly – and it is, really! One friend of mine just shook her head and grinned – “You’ve got balls, lady!”

You clearly love being a mom, and at the time of your message had some great events ahead with the Disney vacation and your daughter’s first birthday (I hope you all had a terrific time!).

Use your concerns about the future to help motivate and drive you to make preparations for your children’s care, and then enjoy the NOW as fully as you can. Don’t let worry over a future that has not happened poison your outlook and enjoyment of today.

I accept my wrinkles as the places my smiles and expressions have become entrenched – they are also indications of the life I have been out and actively living. I have also earned every white hair on my head!

My own epiphany in terms of dealing with looking in the mirror came with the true realization that I never judge other people (friends, coworkers, strangers on the street) as harshly as I judged myself – I have always found the beauty in who they are (when I like someone, I always find them attractive, and when I don’t no amount of style or youth or genetics makes up for it). Faces with character are also *interesting*! I have resolved to treat myself just as well, and these days I usually succeed at it.

One thing that helps, and you will find this soon with your daughter if you haven’t already, is the love a child has for their parents. My son could not care less what my hair is like, what I look like in the clothes I chose a particular day, etc – he just loves *me*. He sees it all, don’t get me wrong – he sees my crinkles, the hints of future jowls, the hair shot with silver, and he just plain identifies me as “mom” and “love”. And he’s *right*! ;D

I am a 40 year old pregnant mom of a toddler, and I love it!

I hope you’re fine. I think the only thing that would make me feel better about being 40 would be if I was pregnant. Maybe I don’t know the half of it, but I just think you’re so lucky. Facing 40 and being pregnant might be tough, but turning 40, not having any children and not feeling like there is any hope of having any is just about the toughest thing I have had to deal with.