Thanks for visiting Turning 40! If you're new here, please take a moment to share your experience of Turning 40 and subscribe to my RSS feed. Have a great day!

 by Terri

My big four-oh has come and gone. And to tell you the truth, I was so busy and had such a great party, I haven’t really given the milestone itself much thought. This ‘coming of age’ certainly hasn’t depressed me. In fact I think I found turning 30 much more difficult.

At 30 there was a long mental list of things yet to be achieved. Get married, have a child, improve career, get fit, get finances in order. Now I’m not sure whether I’ve achieved all these things or whether it’s simply that I care less about achieving them.
I have certainly gotten married and had a child. Two big ticks there. Whether or not I’ve improved the career is questionable. It’s waxed and waned courtesy of the second tick. Career is certainly less important to me than it was a decade ago.

I did get fit. In fact following my 30th birthday I launched into a swimming career with gusto that culminated in me competing internationally at age 34. But like the career, the fitness levels have also waxed and waned courtesy again of that second tick.
I haven’t really got my finances in order but I certainly seem to have more financial freedom. During my twenties my pay was spent before I earned it. Now I think at least my debts are under control and I can afford to eat dinner!

So a few things have changed, but mostly they haven’t. Many of my similarly aged friends have remarked to me that while physically they feel a little different (!!), mentally they are just the same as they have always been. To think that when I looked once looked at 40 year olds and saw an old person, I was just looking at a 20 year old with drooping arms!

I used to think that turning 30 was the end of childhood but now that I am 40 I know that childhood never ends. We just get taller and flabbier and are forced to act more responsibly sometimes. But underneath it all we’re just as silly as we always were. (And if you don’t believe that you should have been at my party at 4.30am the morning after.)

One of the many lovely friends who came to wish me happy birthday (and one in the post-40 category), wrote, “It just gets better!” on my card. And I must say I believe her.

Ironically there is a confidence that only getting older gives you. Along with the back and neck aches, the veins on the legs, the grey hairs and the loss of a waist, there’s definitely more of a “take me as I am” feeling. Which is just as well, because there is only so much you can do about the effects of ageing.

The most comforting thing is that you are not alone. I have friends I’ve known since we were four and guess what … they’re now 40 too! And they really are pretty much the same. So I would say to anyone worrying about turning 40, get over it. It only gets better!