Forty here I come! In less than one week I will be joining the ranks of all the other fortysomethings. I have gradually been getting used to the idea of turning the big 40 and now it’s less than one week away. I am saying goodbye to my thirties and it is a big change. Outwardly, I’m trying to put on a brave face, but inside I feel scared. Every day at least a few times a day I think about it and I’ve been doing that for months.

Mostly I’ve been trying to avoid it, but now with just a few days to go, I absolutely can’t. I guess it happens to us all and now it’s just my time to go through it. I’ve been looking at the other posts here and it seems to be a pretty mixed bag. Some people being positive about it and others absolutely dreading it.

If I’m honest, I haven’t exactly been enjoying the experience. Everytime someone mentions my birthday, I feel myself tense up inside and hope that they don’t mention 40. I don’t like that I’m not where I want to be in my life and that everyone else seems to be married with children. I am trying to do as many positive things as possible, joining new clubs and taking up new activities. I guess that and trying to smile through the whole thing is just about all I can do.

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This past Wednesday, I turned 40. It was an event I had been having mixed emotions about for months. When I saw the ball drop in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, I felt like I’d been slapped. I pretty much ruined the whole night. Where did the time go? I didn’t feel ready.

Turning 40 is a milestone in a person’s life, but here is what can make it a traumatic event. Our society has an unwritten handbook of rules. There are certain things we should have achieved by the time we reach a certain age, and if just one or two of those things are missing, we tend to feel like a failure. It’s a set of rules most of us seem to be affected by, whether we realize it or not. I am the first to admit there are things I have yet to accomplish, things I thought would be in place by this age. However, life doesn’t always line up with what you expect it to be.

I spent two days celebrating entering my 40s. The night before, I went to see Bon Jovi in concert for the second time. The next day, I bought a german chocolate cake. The day felt like being on a long rollercoaster ride. I was thankful, sad, confused.. wondering what to do next, where to go with my life. I walked around in a fog, and the overcast skies didn’t help very much.

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I’ve been thinking a bit about turning 40 lately, because I just did. April 25 was my big 4-0. Since I’m a writer by trade — and writing is in my blood—it seems fitting for me to set some of my thoughts down in writing. Here we go.

Turning 40 isn’t all that different from turning 39 or 38. Ever since turning 35, I’ve been closer to 40 than 30, so I’ve more or less considered myself as much “about 40” as “in my thirties.” That’s not to say that I feel older after crossing into the forth decade. Some say that 40 is the new 30, and in some ways I think that’s true. Turning 40 is considered a milestone, a crossing over into a new chapter of life. But only if you frame it that way. After all, it’s only a number and you’re only as old as you feel. (Are clichés a sign of advanced age?)

I do notice some of the signs of age: more aches and pains than ten years ago. Less patience with rude people or annoying situations. More tolerance of those who care and try. I feel muscles and joints I never knew existed before. My father-in-law used to say that if you’re over 30 and you wake up and nothing hurts, that means you’re dead. For me, that seems to be the case at 30. (Again, 40 is the new 30.)

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via The Top 7

Today is a special day. Today is the day that my brother Jeff turns 40.

Now I reached that inevitable milestone a few years ago so, as any big brother would do, I need to pass out some advice on turning 40.

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Today was my 40th birthday, and I don’t know how to feel about it. My moods have ranged from gratefulness to mild contentment, to shock, and to sadness. Although I know that I should be so thankful for a roof over my head, a job that I like, etc, I still regret not having had a child, and not taking a chance on love with the gorgeous Cuban that I once knew in my early 20′s. I often see young adults, who are 18-21, and I consider the fact that I could have had a son or daughter their age. I feel like such a freak.

I hate turning 40

I am forty in a couple of weeks. It is on my mind more and more the closer it gets. My Dad said “they say life begins at 40, it’s a lie”. Thanks Dad, feel much better.

I do not feel I can look forward to this next decade. I feel like I have not acheived much in my life. I cannot have kids, I dread the menopause when my chance is finally over. I am sure by now I should feel confident and happy and secure with myself but I do not. I am older and I care less what others think but it does not make me happy to get older.

I used to be positive about the future but life has worn me down and disappointed me.

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OK. So, I’m 40 already. But I think I may still reserve the right to blog when I have a thing or two on my mind.

One thing I forgot to tell you about is something I announced at my birthday dinner back in October: my theme for my forties. That’s right, this next decade of mine is going to have a theme. And it is…CONNECTION.

I started thinking about it last spring, when the word “connection” seemed to be in front of me wherever I went. At my job at a media company, we questioned who was king these days – was it content? Consumers? Or maybe it was all about connection. On Facebook, I was making new connections daily. My youngest listened to “Barbie’s Diamond Castle” song “Connected” over and over. Two friends who tried online dating services seemed to be making connections that were going to go the distance (two weddings to go to this summer!) And one day, when I wandered into an old church down in the financial district, I found a piece of paper in the back of the pew – it was called a “connection card.”

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I just turned 40 on the 21st of February and I woke up feeling great. I actually have been looking forward to it, by looking at Gwen Stefani, Halle Berry, and Jennifer Aniston. I did not want to be shocked or cry on my big day. I didn’t have a party or cake to celebrate my big day. I just wanted to have peace and quiet so I could reflect on my life and what I want in it now.

However, on my birthday, I started to do Pilates. I will buy Sprinkles cupcakes and a huge Crumbs cupcake later on, lol. My 20s were absolutely horrible (abusive relationships, not having a clue of who I was or who I wanted to be, bringing losers into my life that were not worth anything, wasting my time, and playing games), my 30s were great (traveling, finally meeting inspirational individuals), and now I am looking forward to finding out how my 40s are going to be. I notice that I don’t care what others think of me.

I still look fantastic, my mind is still active, and I want to obtain as much knowledge as possible. I still do not want drama or BS in my life. I am too busy trying to make more of my dreams come true. I want to move to another country and engulf myself in that culture. I am working on my PhD in Public Health-Epidemiology.

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I am turning 40 on St. Patrick’s Day (2011).
40 was my “scary age”.
I am going back to Los Angeles where I am from, alone, no husband and no kids, for 6 days to celebrate there hoping I won’t have some sort of meltdown on my birthday.
I hate this.

Help, it’s nearly here! Disbelief, anticipation, apprehension. Words springing to mind about turning 40. It’s the last thing I think about every night and the first thing I think about every morning. It inteferes with my sleep and wakes me up in the early hours. It feels like it’s dancing in front of me in big Vegas style lights. And all the time I’m walking without choice towards it.

It’s amazing reading all the comments here. A whole site dedicated to turning 40; there are a lot of us marching towards it. I never thought about it much and now it’s nearly here I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be in my life right now. I still share a flat with friends, I’ve never been married, have no children and I don’t even have a boyfriend. Sometimes I feel angry and hurt, left out, lonely. Mostly I just get on with it and smile to cover it all up. That’s why it’s nice to be here and share.

I feel like I blinked and when I opened my eyes a whole decade had gone. There’s nothing for it now, but to desperately stay positive (which despite many many good things can be tough) and hope that there’s still time. Dealing with being 39 and preparing to enter a new decade continues to be challenging. Who knows what the next step will bring!

Oh no, I feel scared about being the big four oh. Only a few weeks before the big event. I think I’d feel better if I’d been married or had children, but I don’t and that’s what really stings. I didn’t think this was going to happen to me, but it has and that’s what’s really hard to deal with. I try to stay positive and actually I do want to turn 40 because I have to keep moving forward. In fact after people have been going on about it for almost the last year, I can’t wait to get it over and done with!

I have been thinking a lot about this post over the last few months. I have such anxiety about leaving behind my 30′s and starting another DECADE. What I find most discomforting is I don’t feel 40…I feel more like 16 – 20 – 25. Certainly not 40. Here is what I’ve concluded

In my younger years I was always searching searching searching. Although it wasn’t really clear to me what I was searching so hard for.

When I was 16 I met the definition of what I wanted
When I was 18 I stole my fathers car and ran away to California.
When I was 19 I came home from California
When I was 19 I made the biggest mistake of my life
When I was 20 I met the best thing that ever happened to me.

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I turned 40 this week. Several people asked me if I was sad or bummed out about turning 40 and I told each and every one of them “no” – I don’t mind being 40 at all. Why do so many people see 40 as a point in life where you should become depressed about your age? I feel like I am finally coming into my own!

As I approached 40, I decided I would no longer bottle feelings up inside. Already I feel more free and light-hearted. Why didn’t I come to this conclusion before?!?! One of my co-workers had been telling me for years that once you hit your 40s you start to accept yourself more, spend less time worried about what others think….and she was right!

I love being 40. I love being comfortable in my skin and accepting who I am. I love that I am still alive and have a family that loves me. In three years I will pass the age that my mom died. I am grateful for each day that I have with my family and know they will always love me…no matter what color my hair turns or how many lines reveal themselves on my face down the road.

“When you turn 40, something magical happens to you–something liberating and rejuvenating and exhilarating. You acquire a healthy disregard for what other people think. You gain the confidence to define yourself boldly and on your own terms. You don’t accept anyone else’s judgments but your own. In short, you stop living your life for other people and start living it for yourself. The force is with you because, at long last, it is in you.”

I am turning 40 and have never felt so happy!!! I have been divorced twice and have two beautiful children… surely I had not have it easy. I strongly believe it depends on your attitude towards life and you have to search for happiness inside you. The best relationship you will have in your life is with yourself.

I turn 40 in a week.

I stumbled across this site as I searched for great ideas of what I how I should be celebrating this milestone. I decided the first thing to do is to declare myself free of the past and say goodbye to my old skin and all the heartache it clung to while I waited for the ex-boyfriend to get his *bleep* together so we could spend the rest of our lives together. He gave up and eventually moved away, marrying someone else he only knew for a month. At 39, I also have decided to stop investing myself into a job that yields zero return and totally sucks the life out of me. Its time the means starts connecting with the end.

So that felt good. Now to put it all into action. Happy Birthday to me.