The ugly – one year ago I left my abusive partner, no children thank goodness! It took me 8 months to sort out who the hell I was! After being bed wench, cuppa maker, housemaid & cook for 13 years I lost myself.

I feel ‘free’ I am reclaiming myself! Yes I can save money! Yes I can have my own business! Yes I can pay all my bills, Yes I can travel, Yes I can hope, Yes I bloody well can….

Forty is the new 30 – my 30′s I gave myself away – my 40′s Im reclaiming the right to just be me!

Being the giving person that I am (don’t laugh!) I am going to share my top 10 ways to stay young and beautiful….even after turning 40. This has not been scientifically researched (but who really cares?) so I will not be held accountable for side effects or um……accidents if you try these top 10 things. Don’t say I didn’t warn you Side note: These little nuggets of wisdom are in no specific order. (Just thought I’d add that for those of you that are very particular about those types of things.)

DAWN’S TOP 10 SECRETS FOR STAYING YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL

1. Have selective hearing. Pretend you don’t hear your kids yelling, any loud thumps, or other chaos going on at the other end of the house. If you don’t “hear” it, then you won’t worry about it. Worry causes wrinkles. We don’t want wrinkles.

2. Practice bladder control. Try and run all your errands around town while drinking your 32 oz. of water in your ever present water bottle. Toughen up that bladder. Hold it until you are ready to pop. This exercise for the bladder will keep you out of Depends for several more years.

3. Don’t wear embarrassing clothes. Older women should not be wearing tube tops or mini skirts. It’s just not pretty. I don’t care how gorgeous you feel, this combo is not good. By the time you are 40 some of your stuff has shifted around and trust me on this, it doesn’t look as good as when you wore it at 21. Enough said.

4. Soak in the tub at least once a week. Don’t tell me you don’t have time. Make time. This is very relaxing. If any member of your family knocks on the bathroom door go back and review rule #1. Stay in the tub as long as possible…but not so long that you turn into a prune. Shriveled up skin is not attractive…and as you get older it might not “spring back” as quickly as it used to.

5. Exercise regularly. Not only will you feel better and your body will be healthier, but this will help to keep everything in it’s place and will reverse any sagging. You can have a little extra “junk in your trunk” but would you rather have the trunk of a Porshe or a 1978 station wagon? Hey, it’s up to you.

6. Have at least one good friend in your life. This is “your girl”. She hangs with you no matter what. She doesn’t care if you’ve gained an extra 10 pounds (even if you are doing #5) or if your latest haircut is a serious mistake. She loves you anyway. The longer you have this girlfriend the better. Every woman needs someone to commiserate with. Even if you have a wonderful, loving husband you still need a good girlfriend…there are sometimes when men just don’t get us females.

7. Fork out the extra money for some awesome skincare. This is necessary. We need all the elastin and collagen that we can get. Firm and plump that skin. Good skin care will give you a naturally healthy glow, smooth soft skin and reduced wrinkles. Don’t go get cosmetic surgery. Just don’t do it…..you don’t want to turn out like some of the Hollywood stars that now look like they could be the displays in a wax museum.

8. Love your family and tell them daily how much they mean to you. When you are gone they will remember the sweet memories, you will become almost saint-like in their eyes……they will completely forget how they thought their mother was the weirdest mother on earth and how she embarrassed them beyond all recognition.

9. Love your husband after all he has to put up with you. Yes, you might have to pick up his underwear off the floor for the 50 billionth time, but he has to deal with your moods and crankiness during PMS week. Having someone to love helps make the years enjoyable, and if you are blessed to have a wonderful husband, then he will always love you…and in his minds eye you will always look like the beautiful woman he married. (even if you really don’t….love is blind so go with it.)

10. Finally, staying young is a state of mind. So really work on your mind. Keep it active and sharp. Learn new things, keep up on current affairs, do puzzles. Hey, it’s important to have your wits about you….

I hope you will find these tidbits of knowledge that I’ve gleaned over the years to be useful….and if not, I can live with that, but don’t say I didn’t try to be helpful. In my humble opinion I will be a force to be reckoned with in my 40’s. I’m looking forward to this decade. Good bye 30’s…Hello 40’s! There’s a new girl in town!!

Read more from Dawn

I have been successful enough in various businesses to have the things I want – Home, Second Home, freedom to travel to wherever I want. I am starting a philanthropic venture. I am starting a little cafe just for the fun of it. But I still feel something strange in my stomach about turning 40?

According to sociologist Christopher Lasch, Americans often view their 40th birthday as the beginning of the end. And with the recent explosion of midlifers–12,000 a day now turn 40–this makes for a multitude of anxious people. But 40 does not signal the end to productive living; it never has. Want some proof? Consider these examples.

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In 1775, Patrick Henry urges the Virginia Provincial Convention to arm its militia for defense of the colony. His words become the battle cry of the American Revolution: “Give me liberty or give me death.”

In 1977, Janet Guthrie becomes the first woman driver to qualify for the Indy 500. The next year she is the first woman to complete the prestigious event, finishing ninth and defeating some of the world’s best drivers.

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At 10 p.m. on April 18, 1775, Paul Revere leaves Boston on a borrowed horse to warn patriots of the British advance on Lexington. When the King’s troops arrive on April 19, they find minutemen waiting.

In 1903, Henry Ford forms the Ford Motor Company. Five years later he produces the Model-T and changes the pattern of American life.

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On August 18, 1807, Robert Fulton pilots his steamboat, “The Clermont,” on its maiden voyage up the Hudson River. Average speed is 5 mph.

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In December 1776, George Washington leads his troops across the icy Delaware, launching a successful surprise attack against British-backed Hessian soldiers.

In 1891, Thomas Edison invents the kinetograph camera, technology that becomes the forerunner to the modern motion picture.

In 1924, Nellie Ross becomes Governor of Wyoming, the first woman governor in the U.S. At 53 she becomes the first director of the U.S. Mint.

In 1984, drag racer Shirley Muldowney blows a front tire at 250 mph, breaking her pelvis, right hand, and five fingers. Two years later she returns to racing, posting her career-best time and finishing 10th in the overall national standings.

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In 1911, Madame Curie becomes the first two-time winner of the Nobel Prize for her discoveries in physics and chemistry.

In 1926, Eleanora Sears, known as America’s first sportswoman, walks from Boston to Providence, RI in nine hours and 53 minutes.

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In 1610, using the newly invented telescope, physicist and astronomer Galileo Galilei discovers the four bright satellites of Jupiter. He dubs them Medicea Stars after the Medici family who rule his Italian province.

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In 1835, frontiersman-politician Davy Crockett leaves his native Tennessee for Texas and the Alamo. His last fight for freedom will be his most glorious.

In 1884, Mark Twain publishes The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, his best-selling work and arguably the most influential American novel ever.

So despite what you may have been told, life doesn’t end at 40. Nor does it end at 50. Click here, and I’ll show you.

1. Open up excel or some other spreadsheet program

2. Across the top of the sheet place the year for as many years as you want to work with

2007 | 2008 | 2009 …

3. On the far left hand column list your name and the names of your immediate family members

Mark
Wife
Son
Daughter

4. Then place the ages of each person as they will be each year across the sheet like this:

Name: 2007 | 2008 | 2009 …

Mark: 40 | 41 | 42 …

5. Once you have inserted ages for each person, create a new table one with the names of your family on the left and this time place in each square across for each person the major event that each person wants to have happen in that year. Start by filling in the things you know are going to happen – like for the kids, I know that their school activities are most likely the most important aspects (i.e. 6th grade, 7th grade, college). My wife and I talked it through for a while and came up with things we want to do and achieve, places we want to go, etc. – then placed them into the sheet. The best part about this step is that you have to dream about what you want before you can put it down. Don’t worry about how you are going to get there or even if it is possible to achieve. Don’t let your past or your fears get in the way of the dream. Just dream and put your plans down on the sheet. You can go as detailed as you want – I have sections in each year that correspond to different aspects of my life (i.e. health, travel, career, investments, philanthropy) or just keep it high level:

Mark: start new business | build a house on the ocean | travel the world …

6. The last step is to put a concrete picture in your mind of the outcomes you want to have. For each of the achievements or goals, find a pictureby looking through magazines or searching the internet, that illustrates what you want. If it’s a house with a view of the ocean that you want, find a picture of that view. Get a bulletin board and post all the pictures on it then hang it in a place that you will see every day.

Now that I have a plan I have a new way to judge situations and determine if they will help me get where I want to go. Each week I look at the plan and imagine some of the things I might need to do, people I can talk to, books I can read, places I can visit, that will help me achieve a particular goal and add those things to my to do list.

What I found out after procrastinating for so long is that the process is simple if you find some quiet time and open your mind to the possibilities of the world. Again, don’t let the past, fears, failures, preconceived notions or projections get in the way. I don’t care if what you want is ‘realistically’ unachievable. Write it down anyway. Make a plan and take steps towards achieving it each week. Make it your own and make sure you share it with someone else – this part is important. Sharing the plan helps make it real and you accountable. Don’t wait another minute – time is short and you’re not getting any younger!

I don’t know if I will achieve all that I set out to do, but at least I know on a daily basis that there is a reason to get up each morning for the next 40 years.

-Mark