While today is not my birthday, I thought that I’d hear from someone. My birthday is on a Monday and I know no one will want to do anything then. My wife thought about having a party, but I guess that’s not going to happen either. My 40th birthday eve is lonely indeed.

And where am I at 40? When i was 30, I was in the local newspaper listed as a “mover and shaker”. Young. Thirty was young. Now I’m at the age where I see people younger than me in leadership positions, while I stay where I am. I haven’t written my novel yet. I haven’t published much writing. I haven’t surpassed my dreams.

My children are 14 and 18. My 2nd wife is 36. My life is relatively stable and complete, but I can’t help feeling like I missed something. I know that we’re not supposed to have regrets, but I continually focus on what could have been… how things might have gone. I know it’s not right, but can anyone help it?

Forty. Just another birthday, right?

I am forty in a couple of weeks. It is on my mind more and more the closer it gets. My Dad said “they say life begins at 40, it’s a lie”. Thanks Dad, feel much better.

I do not feel I can look forward to this next decade. I feel like I have not acheived much in my life. I cannot have kids, I dread the menopause when my chance is finally over. I am sure by now I should feel confident and happy and secure with myself but I do not. I am older and I care less what others think but it does not make me happy to get older.

I used to be positive about the future but life has worn me down and disappointed me.

My 20′s were wasted on me. I was with the wrong man for me and it is a shame it took me so long to leave. But I turned 30 and lost my job at the same time and it made me wake up and do it. I had more fun in my 30′s it was a rollercoaster. But I met and married the right guy at 39. Basically lived the life I should have had in my 20′s.

Anyway I just feel at my age I should have more, done more live in a better area, just acheived more for myself.
Sorry I think my age is depressing me. 40 is rubbish.
I have a great husband who I love very much but still….

They say 40 is the new 30, but I’m not feeling it. I am single with no children, a few misses in the marriage category, and for the most part unlucky in love. They say 40 is when you realize that life starts to go down, but that depression eases after mid-life crisis peaks at 43.

Sorry for the depressing talk.

I have been to fertility doctors and there is nothing wrong with me…I just can’t get or stay pregnant. Plus, I am a lesbian so I don’t get pregnant naturally and must go through a procedure to try. I am turning 40 on all days this year…..Mother’s day!!!! So, not only is it the worst day of the year…but it is my friggn birthday….

Everyone one wants to make a big deal out of me turning the Big 40….I could care less…..I would rather the day go by unnoticed….and when I say I want to skip it …. I am being selfish for not allowing people to celebrate my life and their love for me. How can I celebrate my life and be happy with my ultimate dream of being a mother will have basically ended on 5-9-2010.

I have thought about adopting but can’t afford and forster care in my state requires a stay at home parent. So….I have to figure out how to live one day at a time without my dream. My days are going to work and pretending everything is ok.

Has anyone ever noticed that this whole world is focused on babies and children? Try watching primetime tv, listen to the radio….go into any store…etc.

via: The Experience Project

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Follow Your Bliss!

I never had an issue of getting older. Now all I want to do is cry when I look at myself in the mirror. I never thought a number would be so hard. I will be going to Disney tomorrow with my wonderful family and then planning my daughters very special birthday.

I hope this gets better.

I turn 40 in 5 days and I asked a bunch of people for a list of all the things I should do in the next 5 days that would be socially unacceptable for me to do after I turn 40. The only thing that came up was “take dirty pictures”.

I am very happy with how my life has turned out. However, one of my goals in life was to reach that point…. no matter WHERE I was in life at any given time. That’s all we all really want is to just be happy regardless of circumstances.

The only thing I am NOT happy with is my weight. I lift heavy weights alot so I have sort of a football player look to me, but, I do carry more fat than I want. But on the other hand, I think, WHY DO I CARE? I have the most amazing wife in the world, awesome kids, and a fun life. Why do I care if I’m ‘sexy’? BFD! Right? Now I just have to convince myself of that.

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