via The Top 7

Today is a special day. Today is the day that my brother Jeff turns 40.

Now I reached that inevitable milestone a few years ago so, as any big brother would do, I need to pass out some advice on turning 40.

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OK. So, I’m 40 already. But I think I may still reserve the right to blog when I have a thing or two on my mind.

One thing I forgot to tell you about is something I announced at my birthday dinner back in October: my theme for my forties. That’s right, this next decade of mine is going to have a theme. And it is…CONNECTION.

I started thinking about it last spring, when the word “connection” seemed to be in front of me wherever I went. At my job at a media company, we questioned who was king these days – was it content? Consumers? Or maybe it was all about connection. On Facebook, I was making new connections daily. My youngest listened to “Barbie’s Diamond Castle” song “Connected” over and over. Two friends who tried online dating services seemed to be making connections that were going to go the distance (two weddings to go to this summer!) And one day, when I wandered into an old church down in the financial district, I found a piece of paper in the back of the pew – it was called a “connection card.”

I just saw the new 5 minute video from my friends Johnny and Lara, and had to share it with you. It’s so inspiring, and so relevant to what many people are going through right now!

Johnny and Lara’s Amazing Video!

You see, we all feel overwhelmed sometimes. We work and work, but bills keep coming and debt keeps piling up – many people feel like they just can’t seem to get ahead. Good news! Johnny and Lara have discovered the secret to living a truly wealthy life and reducing your stress over money. There’s a way to grow your wealth so you can truly afford the finer things in life – and have time to enjoy them.

By Jeannie MacDonald
Special to The Washington Post

So, there I was, still single at 40, feeling about as marketable as flesh-eating bacteria.

Dating at 40 is like having the measles at 40: It’s not terminal, just painful and a little embarrassing. Officially, I was a grown-up. I had an IRA and a mortgage. I didn’t need a husband to “complete me,” but I wanted to share my life with someone. Yet after a while, the thought of yanking on pantyhose for another pointless McDate held all the allure of passing a kidney stone.

I mean, let’s do the math. I’d been on Soul Mate Patrol since the Ford administration. I’d scaled the Boys-to-Men Food Chain, from high school and college steadies to 20-something flings, to having my heart sledgehammered in my 30s by the one I thought I’d marry. Next thing I know, I’m turning the Big 4-0, feeling like an adult with a full set of baby teeth, wondering how many more dates I can take before I roll up my uterus and call it a life.

Ironically, married friends envied my freedom. Others accused me of being “too picky.” (Hey, if you’re not picky about love, what should you be picky about? Waxed or unwaxed floss?) Then there were the smug, married-by-25 women who viewed me with pity, convinced I’d die one of those horrible spinster deaths: surrounded by cats, identified by dental records.

By Todd Barrett Lieman

I always wondered, which is silver and which is gold? I don’t really like gold. So maybe one should be platinum. That would have more personal impact. But then I’m still left to ponder which is which. Certainly, platinum is worth more than silver. Some of my new friends are clearly worth more than my older friends. It’s all so confusing.

You see I’ve been having these quite vivid dreams about old friends. These are people that I haven’t spoken with in years. People who were once very good friends and are now just memories. On the one hand, I feel sad that I’m not really that close to some of these people anymore. But, on the other hand? Well, I can be realistic about the fact that friends sometimes come in and out of our lives. I think the fact that I’m turning 40 (oh so soon) has me constantly reminiscing about the last decade (and then some).

When I fall asleep, I think the dark recesses of my soul are telling me that I should get back in touch with a few of these friends. There is a common denominator to these friends about whom I’ve been dreaming. Aside from the fact that I’m bothered that we aren’t friends anymore, I’m more bothered by the fact that I think I was “wronged” by each of them. Our “falling out,” or “falling away” was caused by actions taken by these friends. These actions ultimately drove a wedge of separation that now has me dreaming about reconciliation.

by Chicklet“Thanks for buying me guitar books for my birthday.”

“You’re welcome. I just want you to have fun with it.”

“I know you don’t mean it, but I love you for saying it anyway.”

“No, I really DO want you to have fun with it!”

[looking at me quite sheepishly...] “I hope it doesn’t horrify you that I bought a guitar for my 40th birthday…”

“It doesn’t HORRIFY me. It just freaks me out. A LOT.”

If you have been wondering if dating is different after dating then you might be happy to know that there’s no definite yes or no to this question, simply because there are many facets to dating and in some respects dating after the age of 40 is different, and yet on some levels it’s the same as dating at a younger age. It also depends on the circumstances of why you’re dating at that age. There are many possible reasons for anyone to be dating at 40 or at any age for that matter. If you find yourself dating because of a recent break-up, especially of a long-term relationship, then you will suffer from the same bruised ego that a younger person would. The difference will be that at 40, you will be conscious that there are many more younger people on the dating scene, and will feel that you have less chance of finding someone. This isn’t the reality of the situation, but it’s the perceived reality that many older people new to the dating scene believe. The simple reality is that there are a lot more singles in out time than every before.

Most people of any age find dating a daunting prospect. Most people, regardless of age, find that dating is a scary process that has to be endured in order to find someone they want to have a good relationship with – rather like having a painful procedure at the dentist in order to create a great looking smile! Where people over 40 find it more difficult is in the fact that when they dated earlier in their lives, things were different. There were social rules that have now changed – who dated who, who paid, expectations from a date, etc. This adds anxiety to the idea that they’re going to be the oldest person at the speed dating evening, or that they’ll be thought of as someone looking to pick up their child, rather than a date!

One basic rule about dating doesn’t change. Look for the type of man who attracts you. Don’t take your baggage on date! Don’t assume that all men are like the one that let you down. Don’t talk about him to the men that you date. It’s very possible that if you date a man in his 40′s, he will have a similar relationship story to yours! So start each dating experience as if it was your first date and don’t judge the person you’re out with against the way your last partner treated you.