Archive for the ‘New Outlook’ Category
Sunday, May 11th, 2008 |
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Are You Turning 40 and Looking for a Profound Life Change?
Have a great day!
Okay people, I’m turning the big 4-0 in less then 2 weeks. To some women this might put them in crisis mode ….but not me. I think being 40 will be great! I’m young enough to still be healthy and active, and old enough to be mature and insightful. Yes, it would be nice to have the bod I had at 21, but do I want to go back to that time? No way. Back then I thought I knew it all–but I didn’t have a clue about what life was really about. A real understanding about the truly important things in life takes years to learn….and even now I’m still working on those lessons. I bet I’ll continue to work on life’s lessons for many, many years to come.
Being the giving person that I am (don’t laugh!) I am going to share my top 10 ways to stay young and beautiful….even after turning 40. This has not been scientifically researched (but who really cares?) so I will not be held accountable for side effects or um……accidents if you try these top 10 things. Don’t say I didn’t warn you 
Side note: These little nuggets of wisdom are in no specific order. (Just thought I’d add that for those of you that are very particular about those types of things.)
DAWN’S TOP 10 SECRETS FOR STAYING YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL
1. Have selective hearing. Pretend you don’t hear your kids yelling, any loud thumps, or other chaos going on at the other end of the house. If you don’t “hear” it, then you won’t worry about it. Worry causes wrinkles. We don’t want wrinkles.
2. Practice bladder control. Try and run all your errands around town while drinking your 32 oz. of water in your ever present water bottle. Toughen up that bladder. Hold it until you are ready to pop. This exercise for the bladder will keep you out of Depends for several more years.
3. Don’t wear embarrassing clothes. Older women should not be wearing tube tops or mini skirts. It’s just not pretty. I don’t care how gorgeous you feel, this combo is not good. By the time you are 40 some of your stuff has shifted around and trust me on this, it doesn’t look as good as when you wore it at 21. Enough said.
4. Soak in the tub at least once a week. Don’t tell me you don’t have time. Make time. This is very relaxing. If any member of your family knocks on the bathroom door go back and review rule #1. Stay in the tub as long as possible…but not so long that you turn into a prune. Shriveled up skin is not attractive…and as you get older it might not “spring back” as quickly as it used to.
5. Exercise regularly. Not only will you feel better and your body will be healthier, but this will help to keep everything in it’s place and will reverse any sagging. You can have a little extra “junk in your trunk” but would you rather have the trunk of a Porshe or a 1978 station wagon? Hey, it’s up to you.
6. Have at least one good friend in your life. This is “your girl”. She hangs with you no matter what. She doesn’t care if you’ve gained an extra 10 pounds (even if you are doing #5) or if your latest haircut is a serious mistake. She loves you anyway. The longer you have this girlfriend the better. Every woman needs someone to commiserate with. Even if you have a wonderful, loving husband you still need a good girlfriend…there are sometimes when men just don’t get us females.
7. Fork out the extra money for some awesome skincare. This is necessary. We need all the elastin and collagen that we can get. Firm and plump that skin. Good skin care will give you a naturally healthy glow, smooth soft skin and reduced wrinkles. Don’t go get cosmetic surgery. Just don’t do it…..you don’t want to turn out like some of the Hollywood stars that now look like they could be the displays in a wax museum.
8. Love your family and tell them daily how much they mean to you. When you are gone they will remember the sweet memories, you will become almost saint-like in their eyes……they will completely forget how they thought their mother was the weirdest mother on earth and how she embarrassed them beyond all recognition.
9. Love your husband after all he has to put up with you. Yes, you might have to pick up his underwear off the floor for the 50 billionth time, but he has to deal with your moods and crankiness during PMS week. Having someone to love helps make the years enjoyable, and if you are blessed to have a wonderful husband, then he will always love you…and in his minds eye you will always look like the beautiful woman he married. (even if you really don’t….love is blind so go with it.)
10. Finally, staying young is a state of mind. So really work on your mind. Keep it active and sharp. Learn new things, keep up on current affairs, do puzzles. Hey, it’s important to have your wits about you….
I hope you will find these tidbits of knowledge that I’ve gleaned over the years to be useful….and if not, I can live with that, but don’t say I didn’t try to be helpful. In my humble opinion I will be a force to be reckoned with in my 40’s. I’m looking forward to this decade. Good bye 30’s…Hello 40’s! There’s a new girl in town!!
Read more from Dawn
Posted in New Outlook, The After 40 Plan | No Comments »
Thursday, May 1st, 2008 |
What do you do when your dreams come true? Except for being fat, I really don’t have any serious complaints about my life so far! I have a great wife. I have an amazing one year old child. My parents know I love them. My brother knows I love him, although I have not spent enough time with him lately.
I have been successful enough in various businesses to have the things I want - Home, Second Home, freedom to travel to wherever I want. I am starting a philanthropic venture. I am starting a little cafe just for the fun of it. But I still feel something strange in my stomach about turning 40?
Posted in New Outlook, The After 40 Plan | No Comments »
Friday, April 11th, 2008 |
A way to break through any block is to create a vision board. I have used this technique for over 25 years. What it does is focus your brain on what you want instead of what is holding you back. Then the mind will begin to find ways to resolve those blocks to keep you moving toward your vision. It is highly effective. I always seem to get what is on my board. If I don’t it is often because, I realized I really didn’t want it.
When I was losing weight I had images of lean and slender woman who looked fit. As I was turning 40 and I was at my ideal weight I changed my focus. I put on my board a caption that was on a magazine that said “40 and WOW”. Look for photos and phrases that are inspiring to you and make your goal real. Create a board of these images. This is a great thing to teach kids, my children and I have done this together as a craft project.
Place the board somewhere where you can look at every day. I have one right in front of me right now, it is focused on my business and has images of success. The brain unconsciously works on this goal even when you are not thinking about it. Give it a try.
If you do create one show it to me! Here is the one I created when I turned 40, I wanted to workout with weights and reduce my body fat. I was also focused on my ebusiness and writing a book, so this helped me to stayed focused on my goals.
Rosa is a life coach with a speciality in wellness and weight loss. She is certified in Hypnosis, NLP, EFT and Success Coaching. She is the author of Mind Over Platter: Train Your Brain to Think Thin, as well as the creator of Hypnosis CD’s for weight loss. Her site is www.mindoverplatter.com
Posted in Health/Fitness, New Outlook | No Comments »
Sunday, April 6th, 2008 |
I’m turning forty next year - yes, the big 4-0. Some people are terrified of that designation of “middle-age”, but I’m looking forward to it. Yes, I’m strange that way.
Turning twenty was wonderful; I was no longer a teenager. Thirty seemed as if the beginning of life had come, and perhaps I’d finally gain the respect of my older peers (yeah right, like that’s ever going to happen). So what is the matter with turning forty? For me, absolutely nothing. I celebrate it. It means I’ve survived another milestone.
There was a time in my life when I didn’t think I’d make it to my next birthday. When the physical body wears thin it really makes your world and focus shrink down to what is truly important. During that time, life for me was about reaching that next milestone to ensure I’d be here for my son. He became my driving life-force to do everything possible to live another day, week, month, and year.
Life has such meaning and purpose to me each and every day. I no longer struggle just to survive; now I thrive. It is a precious gift to be given a second chance.
It also means I’m moving forward. So forty, come on down!
From The Chatter’s Block
Posted in Getting Better with Time, New Outlook | No Comments »
Friday, April 4th, 2008 |
I think it started when I turned 35, that whole mid-life thing. I had always considered anything over 70 as gravy, so 35 was half-way there.
Oh My God!
I looked at my life at that moment and was horrified. I had nothing.
I’d just given up my entire life to help my mother with hers. Possibly the worst choice of my life, or perhaps just a part of the big picture plan, who knows. Either way, I was living in an unfinished basement desperately trying to please an unpleasable woman. My marriage was falling apart rapidly, my kids were suffering and I thought, this is what I’d worked my ass off for nearly twenty years for?
In all honesty, I fell into a deep depression that probably lasted three years and during that time I tried to accept that this was my life, end of story, this was as far as I got.
That season of my life ended and I thought that was that, but the following years proved to be even harder. I lost four babies and my marriage and I no longer speak with my mother or sister. I feel in ways I’ve lost everything that I was. There are night like this, where I realize there is really no one on the planet (besides my kids, I hope.) who would miss me if I disappeared and that makes me profoundly sad.
Turning forty was like the dawning of a new day.
There is this feeling of “I don’t have as long as I used to.” I mean facts are facts, and I feel this pressure to make the next twenty or thirty years (should I be so blessed) count.
I don’t want to flounder any more. I don’t want to wander along letting the current of others in my life dictate my path any longer. I want to do something meaningful. I want to touch lives and make a difference.
I want to become a woman of immeasurable worth. It’s time for the butterfly season of my life to begin.
About Samantha
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Monday, March 24th, 2008 |
Well, today is my 40th birthday. It is the day after Easter, so it’s been over-shadowed by the holiday, which is fine by me. My physical appearance is great. I’m often mistaken for 31. I have two great kids, a 16 year old son who is an honor student and an 18 year old daughter who graduated high school and is working as a hair stylist. I have a wonderful father and great brother.
I have many good friends and my job schedule is great. I am an RN and have made many professional strides and received much recognition for being a good nurse. I survived the treachery of youth. The teen years, I WOULD NOT WANT TO REPEAT AGAIN!! My 20’s were lovely, I had my two children early and I don’t regret it at all. My 30’s were very turbulent. I divorced my husband and my mother passed away. My daughter also went through a lot in high school and it was a very difficult time for me. I also traveled much more in my 30s and have done extra work in movies and on television. I have had a pretty good life so far. I learned to cherish what I do have, and not try to lament over what I don’t have.
I am dating a guy–but not sure where this is going. I would hope to get re-married again.
My biggest fear..is not growing older, but growing older alone without a partner to buffer life’s hardships. I feel this is a new leaf for me in some prospects. I am not afraid to speak my mind. I am not afraid to venture and try new things. I am looking forward to the summer and looking HOT in a bikini and traveling with abandon. I feel free to cut myself away from disingenuous people in my life and pity anyone who dares to stand in the way of my dreams.
I feel comfortable in my skin and ready for the journey that lies ahead. It’s a challenge, bring it on! Today is my 40th birthday & to quote one of my favorite movie lines. “Dear God, I’m here.”
Posted in New Outlook | No Comments »
Sunday, March 16th, 2008 |
Today I turned 40. Although I have dreaded the day’s arrival for over a month now it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I had a much more difficult time turning 30 when I look back on it. During the past 40 years I have had two wonderful children, aquired amazing friends, a loving partner, and the opportunity to receive a facinating education. It was curious for me that the first thing I thought of this morning was my 1st husband who drowned when he was 31 and will not see our daughter graduate this June. Interesting… the things you think about on your birthday.
I was actually looking forward to this day for only one reason. I had been told by several individuals that I would learn the meaning of life when I was 40 and not before. Last night about 10:55pm I turned to my partner (over 40) and exclaimed in frustration “Look it’s an hour and five minutes before midnight and the closest I have come to guessing about the meaning of life is that everyone should take more naps and get more sleep because sleep is great if you can get it.” He said “wrong” and then he fessed that the meaning is that at 40 you learn that it’s important to roll with the punches and not let the little things upset us so much.
I considered this “meaning” all day on my 40th and by this evening I had learned something else. For my partner it’s “we need to roll with the punches” but the meaning of life is different for me and likely for every individual. I realize I should be very grateful I have lived to 40 because I have had so many remarkable and memorable experiences, acquired lots of wonderful friendships, lost/gained love and had the opportunity to be born in such a beautiful province/country. In the end I just feel really lucky to have more time to do it all some more.
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Sunday, March 16th, 2008 |
” Turning 40 ” impressed me as I am also turning around to it in a few months.
How to take it, many different things come to mind. First of all i start looking back what have done so far all these 40 big years ? and look around people who are very young and going ahead with more than one life time achievements.
I want to know one thing also, is there any one , who could not do better under forties, later on went to do things of their life in next forty years. I have one man in my mind that is great, Abraham Lincoln, who had many failures in his earlier life, but still could finish life with great achievements. so, I can though i am little bit satisfied with what has gone so far in my life, taking the base from it, I can get big.
If any one has idea about the people who have done wonders after 40’s, kindly put it on this page, so they will become inspirational for all such kind of people who have reached or will be reaching 40s.
Thank u all for giving me this opportunity to share some thing with my age people.
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Thursday, February 14th, 2008 |
From The Daily Pilot
Women older than 40 today are mothers, daughters, executives, friends, business owners, wives and lovers.
Statistics show they’re also beautiful, healthy, active, empowered and happy with who they are, maybe for the first time in their lives.
Lillian Williams, one of 10 finalists in the MORE/Wilhemina 40+ Model Search contest, said attitude is everything, and she wasn’t there at age 20.
It took turning 40 to give her the confidence she needed to accept who she was, embrace her life choices — mistakes included — and feel good enough about herself to believe she could enter a modeling competition.
“At 20, you’re immature and you don’t know what life is about. Now, I’m not going to be influenced by what other people think,” Williams said.
The Costa Mesa resident is one of three California women in the annual nationwide model search sponsored by MORE Magazine and Wilhemina Models that began late last year.
Williams is a dental assistant in Newport Beach and a regular reader of MORE magazine, a publication geared toward women older than 40.
Lois Johnson, beauty and fashion director of MORE Magazine, said each of the more than 15,000 readers who entered the contest are winners.
“This is a community of intelligent, highly evolved women who are taking charge of their lives and enjoying being 40 and over,” Johnson said.
“Right now, most readers say that while they would enter a model search, they might not have ever considered that in their 20s.”
Women today have a different attitude, Johnson said, coupled with the fact that women are learning to take exceptional care of themselves by working out, not baking in the sun anymore, whitening their teeth and paying special attention to skin care.
After seeing the ad in the magazine for the model search, Williams and her sister joined more than 400 women at the open audition in September at the Talbots store in South Coast Plaza.
Williams filled out an application, had her hair and makeup touched up by experts, and posed for a professional photo that she submitted with her application.
Everyone there that day helped her feel comfortable and at ease, Williams said, enabling her to step out of her comfort zone and try new things, like talking more about herself.
Once she was selected as a semifinalist, she was required to submit a two-minute video in which she had to talk about herself and her life.
“I’ve always been very reserved, and now I want to say who I am, and embrace what God gave me.”
Williams is tall, something she struggled with when she was younger. She wouldn’t wear heels, she felt left out, and it played havoc with her self esteem.
Since entering the contest, Williams said meeting new people, seeing her friends and family so supportive, and having a little attention focused on her at this stage in her life isn’t such a bad thing.
“Why not do this? It’s a way of expressing something that deep down all of us want to do, to feel appreciated in life.”
Williams leaves Monday for New York, where the first-, second- and third-place winners of the contest will be announced at a fashion show and dinner at the Hotel QT in Manhattan on Wednesday.
All three finalists will receive modeling contracts with Wilhelmina, be featured in the June issue of MORE and appear on an upcoming segment of the “Today” show.
A shopping spree, jewelry, hair and makeup products and trips are all part of the winning package.
Williams has never been to New York, and she said that whether or not she wins, the experience has been one she will never forget.
Her son, Zachary, 11, has been behind her 110%, she said, telling her she can do it, and that if she wins, she can do whatever she wants.
That’s something Williams wouldn’t have believed 20 years ago, and if she does win, she’ll be able to put that advice to the test.
She may have to quit her job. After all, she’ll have to honor a $50,000 modeling contract.
“I’ve never modeled before, but I’m willing to learn anything now, and I’ll weigh all the options,” Williams said.
“This is the opportunity of a lifetime.”
SUE THOENSEN may be reached at (714) 966-4627 or at sue.thoensen@latimes.com.
Posted in Getting Better with Time, New Outlook | No Comments »
Thursday, December 6th, 2007 |
Turning 40 quotes:
“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
“Forty isn’t old, if you’re a tree”
“At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment.”
Yep, that’s right, yesterday I turned 40. Woo hoo! I took the day off, spent it with my precious family and ate a lot. It was good to be the birthday king.
My lovely wife and I were talking about history yesterday; the historical account of my turning 30. I had forgotten how traumatic it was for me. I did not take it well. But interestingly, entering a new decade yesterday was a great day. No fuss, no stress, no hand wringing and no trauma. I stumbled upon a “turning 40” blog today and I got to tell you, either those folks are not doing well or I’m the most well adjusted human on earth.
I would imagine it has something to do with my love for God having grown, my love for my wife having grown and my love for my children having grown. I don’t get warm fuzzies very often (my wife can verify), but that last sentence brings them.
At 40 I realize, maybe more than ever, what’s truly important.
Have an awesome day today!
Wayne
Posted in Looking Back, New Outlook | No Comments »
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007 |
Maybe its strange..but I wanted to “announce” that today, I turn 40!! At 12:28pm specifically….
I looked up the significance of the year 40 in the bible and it has to do with a time of trial…of purifying.
As I contemplate my life …my whole…long life.:-)…and compare it with the work that God has done in me during just the past year alone…I say in confidence of what God has done and in faith and in expectancy of what God is doing, that I am coming to the end of a trying time…and entering into a new time of freedom. Some patterns of old are being broken. Things that were once in the dark are being exposed to God’s light. Lies that were introduced and accepted when I was young are being rooted out and rejected to be replaced with God’s truth. Jesus has been so faithful, so sweet, so tenacious, so relentless in His pursuit of me and in His pursuit of my wholeness…sometimes whether I like it or not.
God willing, I will have at least 40 years more. There will be more trials, more times of purifying. There will be adversities and moments of darkness.
But I am firmly convinced that because of God’s work in me, and the ways He has supplanted what the enemy sowed for evil with His goodness, truth and light, that I will be more then a conqueror through Christ who will finish the GOOD work He began in me. OUR GOD IS A REDEEMER KING. May my life give testimony to His goodness.
Join with me in rejoicing in this truth, yes?
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Monday, October 8th, 2007 |
I have spent the last 3 years worrying about turning 40 and then I finally woke up. I am glad I’m turning 40! It means I’m still alive! I now feel I’ve earned it along with every line in my face. There is a sense of confidence that comes with this. I feel centered and ready to face the next 40 years (and beyond). Things aren’t so bad. My sister is turning 50 a week after my birthday and my mother is turning 70 in 11/07. We all feel very blessed and have discovered that living in the moment is what counts because, after all, what we do in the present is what counts. The future isn’t written yet.
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Thursday, September 27th, 2007 |
Well, the time has come. The one that I haven’t been looking forward to. I’m turning 40 in 10 days!!!. I used to think that 30 was old. The 4 just scares me twice as much. Just in the last year, I noticed changes in my body. I’m feeling old and don’t want to face it. Aches and pains when I get out of bed in the morning. More grey in my hair. At least hair dye will come in handy. I feel tired all the time. I can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror every other day. They say that the body changes every 10 years. My clothes don’t fit like they used to anymore. I’m happy for all the ones out there that think turning forty is great. May be I should look back at my life and all my accomplishments. I should look forward to having a wonderful future with my loving husband and family. At least I know that I have people who love me. My husband tells me that I look great. Friends that don’t know my age think I look great. Well I guess it’s just another number. I must be doing something right in taking care of myself. Well, hopefully I will be a new woman when I wake up on my Birthday. May be it will be a new change in my life. A good one I hope.
Posted in New Outlook | 1 Comment »
Monday, September 24th, 2007 |
Today is my birthday! I thought turning 40 would be hard form me but it happened all by itself! I still feel young enough to embrace some of the dreams I have not yet fulfilled and I am now at an age that I can be respected for my own wisdom that I have gained.
I had hoped to be at the top of my game at this age but in the past recent years Divorce, depression from the divorce and a series of misfortunes all in concert to the fact that I was not as sharp and involved in my own life for the past few years because of the divorce.
Today (September 24, 2007) I am 40! My divorce has been finalized for more than 6 months now, my awakening has been embraced and the new day begins with ME!
I accept 40 with all of its stigma and I will move on to getting back on tract and re-connect with my once amazing life!
This is my way of saying out loud!
Posted in Celebrating, New Outlook | No Comments »
Thursday, August 16th, 2007 |
By PHILIP NORMAN
Every man over a certain age will remember the feeling of sick despair and disbelief with which he opened his eyes on the morning of his 40th birthday.
It seemed like an unavoidable transition from carefree youth to musty middle age; an instant step-change from fashion footwear to plaid carpet slippers.
As one’s late-30s inexorably ran out and that horrible new numeral loomed ever closer, it was hard to believe in the old saying ‘life begins at 40′.
Rather, one inclined to the view of the great pop singer Cher that ‘whatever they may tell you, being 40 is a crock of s**t’.
But I must say that, personally, I did not find it so. Waking on that fateful morning (in New York, as it happened), I was amazed to realise that I did not feel or look any different from the griefstricken 39-year-old who had covered his head with the bedclothes the night before.
I felt no urge to run out and buy a trilby hat, no compulsion to join an indoor bowls club - nor any sudden craving for Sanatogen, the tonic which famously used to claim to ‘fortify the over-forties’.
All that happened was that I no longer needed to be scared of turning 40.
And, for me, the decade turned into a crock of gold when I found true, lasting love twice over: in a wife and a baby daughter.
It seems that I was one of a fortunate minority.
According to a new report by the British Market Research Bureau, men between their late-30s and mid-40s experience ‘happiness levels’ lower than at any other time of life.
This makes them the least satisfied members of society, scoring well below teenagers, the elderly - and women at any age.
Not until their mid-60s, when most of them will have retired, do they hope to enjoy life with the same intensity they used to in their teens and early 20s.
The report is part of a general survey on Britons’ attitudes towards themselves.
How depressing to think that for these poor benighted guys, life is such a soggy tract of misery and apathy, hopeless nostalgia for the past and pining for a faroff future which, however blessed, is almost bound to include things like dentures, bunion-plasters and stair-lifts.
There are, of course, many reasons for a man to feel bad during early and mid-middle age: unhappy marriages, burdensome mortgages, stagnating careers, difficult teenage children, the growing sparseness of hair on the top of his head compared with the dark, luxuriant growths inside his nostrils, and what John Betjeman called ‘late-flowering lust’.
And AS a plaintive poet wrote in The Times a few years ago: “If I’ve asked myself once, I’ve asked it often/ When my arteries harden, does my brain have to soften?”
Yet, compared with women in the same years, men are fortunate. We do not hear the ticking of that ominous timepiece, ‘the biological clock’.
We do not - well, most of us don’t - have to endure facelifts, tummy-tucks or Botox and spend hours at the hairdresser or trying on clothes, despairing to realise that the only thing that really fits us is the cubicle.
If we go grey or develop a few wrinkles, no one is going to stop us reading the news on television.
Curiously, women canvassed for the report did not consider the same age-span, 35-44, the nadir of ‘happiness levels’.
For them, the low water-mark came between 25 and 34 when many have to cope, unaided, with small children.
But women, too, felt they had lost true joie de vivre along with their teenage years and believed they could recapture anything like it only in their 60s and beyond.
There are a couple of points here which the researchers seem to have overlooked or, at least, have not thought worth mentioning.
The first is that young people in Britain, unwinnowed by world war for the past 60 years, have had such a whale of a time that everything in their adult years smacks of anti-climax.
The second - most heartening, to me - is that those once known patronisingly as ‘old folk’ or ‘the elderly’, and expected to live twilit lives circumscribed by tea cosies and surgical bandages, are now perceived to enjoy such enviable freedom and fun.
For my own immunity to this national mid-life crisis, I can thank the fact that in my teenage years ‘happiness levels’ were virtually non-existent.
During the summer, when my schoolfriends were being taken on holiday to France or Italy, I was clad in a dirty white coat and pushing a slop-trolley around my father’s self-service cafeteria at the end of the Isle of Wight’s Ryde Pier.
I have a photograph of myself aged about 17, dressed with painful formality in a blazer, white shirt and silver tie.
But for the suspicion of acne and bumfluff, I could be a rather anxious, careworn middle-aged man.
On my 19th birthday, a sympathetic girlfriend asked: ‘Aren’t you sad to be starting your last teenage year?’ Truth to tell, I didn’t feel I had yet started my first one.
A sense of being prematurely aged persisted even after I had broken away from Ryde Pier, fought my way to London and become a successful journalist.
At 24, I felt over the hill and set apart from pop fans who listened to new bands like Amen Corner and the Love Affair.
From the age of 27, I began dreading my 30th birthday and the ‘portentous, menacing road of a new decade’, as F. Scott Fitzgerald called it, with its ‘thinning briefcase of enthusiasms [and] thinning hair’.
In the early Seventies I remember being at a dinner party with some fellow 27-year-olds and a man whose roll-neck sweater stood out painfully among our flares and kipper ties.
“How old are you?” we eventually asked him.
“Thirty,” he replied. We sat and silently sympathised.
The truth is that you dread the onset of every new decade but, if you are lucky, soon discover there was nothing to be frightened of after all.
From this vantagepoint, 30-year-olds look to me like babies and 40-year-olds mere striplings.
The great P.G. Wodehouse wrote how he dreaded reaching 60 but then when he reached 70, regarded sexagenarians as ‘noisy little brutes’, always rushing around and making a racket.
Now I have reached the age where people tactfully speak of ‘big birthdays’ rather than naming specific years, I can honestly say, from the very moment they were supposed to have dipped, my ‘happiness levels’ have gone from strength to strength.
I feel pleasure with an intensity I never did in youth - sheer joy in tiny things like the first sip of hot cappuccino after a morning run, the shivery hoot of an owl outside my bedroom window, summer pudding during redcurrant season, Jimi Hendrix playing All Along The Watchtower, my wife’s smile . . .
When I was young, every day seemed an ordeal. Now it is an adventure.
Pining to be a teenager again? Don’t make me laugh. Looking forward to retirement? Yes please!
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Saturday, August 4th, 2007 |
This month’s theme is turning 40 and doing all the stupid things I can do to fight back the clock. Recently, I started to date … again. However, the object of my attraction is younger, much younger. I would judge older guys who would “prey” on a younger, inexperienced woman; now I found myself in this untenable situation. Not to say that a younger woman is necessarily vulnerable or naïve or dating me because of some pathological defect. I forget to mention her age on purpose, because I feel somewhat creepy. Nonetheless, I’m hitting forty, and am quite unsure as to how I should feel about this milestone. One year ago, I bought two motorcycles – cruiser and sport bike – in order to go really, really, fast. Living in Japan, I don’t want to go really, really, fast due to the narrow streets and the congested traffic conditions. So, I decide to work out as much as possible trying to get my ideal body again.
Therefore, I ran 12 miles last weekend and plan to an additional 12 this weekend. I am truly pathetic. I have become that guy I vowed never to be. I guess what I’m saying is that there are age-related fears and customs that permeate every American male irrespective of his race, social-economic status, or marital status. I have fallen deeply into one of those chasms and it scares the living shit out of me. I never wanted to be the guy that dates a 23-year-old (I guess I mentioned her age), rides motorcycles dangerously, and chases his ideal body image of total virility. But, I am indeed that fellow now and fully understand the urge to stay younger and exuberant. Therefore, learning to resist the urge to judge another is something I take to heart. Never judge another person without first fully understanding his motivation, fears, and challenges. I have resolved myself to being happy, no matter what situation in which I find myself. I have made stupid mistakes, careless mistakes, and out-right hurtful mistakes to others. Time is the ultimate judge of what we do and living with the consequences of our actions is truly being mature and manly. I hope to continue to live and learn. http://blog.myspace.com/69999856
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Monday, July 23rd, 2007 |
I’m going to be 40 soon. Never mind how soon, just know it’s soon enough. I find myself in the same pitfalls as, I suspect everyone else in my position: Did I make the right decisions? Where do I go from here? Could’ve. Would’ve. Should’ve. As a woman, I throw in a few extras: If something happens, can I take care of myself? What about my parents? Did I hit the snooze bar on my biological clock once too often?
The list goes on. Granted, today isn’t that much different from a year ago, but along with 18, 21 and 30, 40 is a big “landmark” birthday. The difference with 40 is, we look at ourselves at the midpoint of our lives. Playtime is over, we remind ourselves. Now we start looking/acting/sounding like our parents. The amount of trauma of this realization brings is intimately related to how our first 40 years went. Regardless of how we actually did, we tend to be merciless in our recollections. We conveniently forget that we now have the luxury of wisdom, experience and hindsight, which is a damn sight better than 20/20. Now we know the fates of our failed relationships, poor career choices and other “sure things.” It’s easy now to look back and berate ourselves because we didn’t get in on the Microsoft IPO, or save that autographed Wayne Gretzky rookie card. We look around at our “smarter,” “more accomplished” contemporaries. We look at the younger generation and compare them to us when we were younger. You don’t have to admit it to me, but you know you think about it. Never mind what private hells they have inside, no one can tell you that you’re doing just fine.
The truth of the matter is, we are doing, if not just fine, the best we can in imperfect circumstances and with limited information. At least the fact that we look back gives us the guidance for the journey ahead. OK, so you goofed in a marriage, or two, or three. Acknowledge the fact that you can’t keep hooking up with carbon copies of the jerk you dated in high school, take some time off from the relationship-go-round and do better next time. Look around. Maybe paying the homeowner’s insurance, while not nearly as fun as a wide-screen HDTV, wouldn’t be out of place up at the top of your things-to-do list.
Well, as the old saying goes, while the unexamined life may not be worth living, it can be a hell of a lot easier, but only in the beginning. I was reading a book on happiness when I came upon an important idea: We do the things that don’t necessarily make us happy now (like going to work every day, chores around the house, and so on) so we can give the results (a paycheck, a clean house) to the “us” of the future. Acting on the things we don’t like now can make our future birthdays that much better.
Oh, I promised you a parable, didn’t I.
I was once gifted with a bamboo plant (for opening up a business, long since failed). As time wore on and my situation changed, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, the bamboo started to die. Not that I wanted it to die, it was a gift from a beloved uncle, but I couldn’t always give it the sun it needed. My cat thought it was tasty, too. Eventually, it became not much more than a stick in the sand. I wanted to give it one more shot, though. I gave it some water, put it outside and waited. The other day, I saw the first shoots come out of that main stalk.
I guess it’s never too late in the year for spring.
Learn more about this author, Nunzia Falcone.
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Thursday, July 19th, 2007 |
On the 24th of this month I turn 40. I can honestly say its scary how I dont feel 40, and most people say I have never looked or for that matter acted my age. (I’m still trying to figure out exactly what they ment by that, was it a compliment or pointing out a charater defect) This last year has been a journey touching places in my soul, faith and happiness I could never have imagined. Im walking into a new year filled with so much graditude for life and who I am. Last year I meet a wonderful lady that let me to her untrusting heart and shared her faith in life and god with me. Forever changing the way I look at the term everything or nothing. I learned to love agian. only to have that relationship end. Id like to say I went gracfully with the bigger plan, Fear its a bitch and lossing love. What can I say. Just befor that I was laid off form a job I hated any way. But yet agian fear manifested. Things seemed bad, Every morning Id walk up give my day over only to grab it back and strangle the life out of my self ( dont recomend this as a solution) The one thing I held on to was the courage she had shown me. Mind you Im not perfect , dont ever plan on achieving perfection. So I am always open to the messages I see through others. I kept slamming and bumping into everything while I tried find an open door. never gave up. I walked int oa job never would have every got had i still been in construction. Its amazing how good it feels to wake up when you enjoy what you do. It took a long time but Im at that place I feel stronger, happier, younger, and gifted.
The gifts I have today. the biggest is my son found me on this site and he choose to want me in his life. I love the man I am today (who I am becoming, what I stand for, and how the world views me). the love I feel for the people in my life and the way I know they feel about me. The memories of the relationships Ive had, being able to seem how I was enriched buy it rather than how I lost something. Faith in life, god , myself and evrything around me that it going to work out better than I could ever create. Unwavered fath is the goal today one day at a time , growing stronger on the days fear steps in.
40 looks good
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Thursday, July 12th, 2007 |
I know it did for me. I’ve always been a sarcastic person, but I used to be so much better about holding my tongue, but when I hit 40 something happened. Somewhere over the past 6 months I seem to have lost a lot of the controls that keep me from being well, kinda b**chy. It’s not that I can’t be calm and understanding, I just don’t want to be.
I am president of our street artist association and the vice president is a real A*****E. At the meeting today he goes into his usual attempts to boss me around and instead of just ignoring him I turned on him. My time was too valuable for his cr*p.
A few days ago we got awful service from a waitress. It was hard to get her attention because she was too busy talking to some of the other servers. When I finally did get a refill on my water she made a big show out of rolling her eyes and sighing. The girl then proceeded to turn all nice and sugary at checkout where her manager was present. She asked if had enjoyed our meal. I told her no. She was not a very good waitress and if any of my 3 teenagers had behaved the way she did they would have been grounded. Her manager apologized and I had the impression that she would be speaking to the girl later on. Not to long ago I would have voiced my dissent by leaving a small tip and telling myself I wouldn’t be back at that place again.
My husband informs me that I am going to be a nightmare when I reach 80
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Thursday, May 31st, 2007 |
I turned 40 today and it feels cathartic.
I lost my best friend to brain cancer a month ago, i had a dear friend walk on me as she couldn’t handle the stress and my fella of 4 years decided the illness of my friend was too much to bear.
i stand at a crossroads. choices to make and only one direction to go……
forward.
strange day.
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