Turning 40 - It’s All About the Journey

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Are You Turning 40 and Looking for a Profound Life Change?

Have a great day!

Turning 40 brought its fair share of emotions. First the sense of disbelief.. Gosh really 40 ..how did that happen so quickly.. I dont feel like 40! Do I look 40, do I behave like a 40 year old..and so on and so on..

The next step was reflection.. remembering the years gone by, the adventures, the challenges and the ups and downs on the roller coaster ride of life.  Taking a little mental check to see if I was satisfied with what my life amounted to til now…a great gift to myself.

It was a really enjoyable process, meandering through the endless field of memories cultivated from 40 years on our glorious planet.  Many many forgotten faces, experiences, and feelings came back into the here and now…Very pleaseant.

A great trip down memory lane… and a wonderful way to begin creating a little blueprint for the next 40 years of fun. Seeing what still inspires you, what you  would still like to do/achieve/try/create & experience

In a few days I am 41. I am feeling great. I bought a bicycle and am loving the expereince of scooting  about the city. Its healthy and amazing  fun discovering places you didnt know exist just a few mintues from your neighbourhood.

Ladies and gents .. get on your bikes.. it is a fabuous way to nuture vitality and wellbeing.

Until next time

mysticmiss

Posted in Fitness, Looking Back | No Comments »

Reflections on turning 40 bu Augiegus

I was at work the other morning waiting for my relief to come on and the only thing I could think of was the line or two from David Lee Roth before the Van Halen song Hot for Teacher. You know the part where Eddie is twidling on the main guitar riff and David Lee ab libs, “I don’t feel tardy.”

I suppose that is sorta how I feel about turning 40. I don’t feel forty. A good point is that no I do not listen to Van Halen much but my Ipod is instead loaded with Sublime, The White Stripes, Shiny Toy Guns, Wilco, TV on the Radio and the like. I suppose I believed when I was a kid that forty year olds just listened to Paul Anka and were busy yelling at the neighbor kids to get out of their yard.

I suppose it is a blessing to feel more at ease talking to those younger then me then those older, but it is a bigger blessing that I feel I have more in common with the youth. Some of this youthful outlook is great. I love working out. Most folks my age seem to be less fit and as time goes on just give up being healthy. What started as weight loss morphed into weight training and now is taking on new avenues of fitness. I Loved bicycling into work the last few days and flipping off the gas sign on the way. I plan to do this until late fall (gas sign flipage contingent on future gas prices), but who knows we may have a mild winter. The point is that I am in the best physical shape of my life and I plan to improve to a higher excellence as time goes on and that is not the thinking of an old man.

The down side was I could of accomplished much more if I was not so immature in other areas of my life. My youth was not filled with sex, drugs, and rock and roll but two out of three ain’t bad. I would of took them all but their is no accounting for taste in the fairer sex. It is sorta silly to look back with regret. I mean the first time I benched four sets of 10 I did the bar alone. The next week I improved. We all start somewhere and when we start is different for all of us. Why did I wait until 38 to get healthy? The only thing I can come up with was I was resting from what I thought was an overwhelming life. Now I workout to get more from life.

All and all it is a beautiful life. Their is plenty of things to work on but I suppose I feel rested and ready for the challenge. I keep my eyes open for the wonder and never say never. It is like Dylan sang, “Ah, but I was so much older then I’m younger then that now.

Read more from Augiegus

Posted in Health/Fitness, Looking Back | No Comments »

No worries as I start a new chapter in life

By Phil Knapper - Sports Editor The Benton Evening News

Officially, as I am writing this, I have six more days until I turn 40. There’s been no panic yet, no wringing of the hands and no crying or gnashing of teeth.

Just calmness. Really.

A lot of people would circle May 1 on their calendars with a big black marker if they were in my shoes. Most people I know that are turning 40 rank this particular birthday right up there with their joy of flossing. Me, I’m fine with it. Really.

Turning 40 does give you a chance to reflect on things. My 20s were great … wait, change that adjective to delicious. My 30s forced me to deal with a few more “grown up” things and, to tell the truth, I’m kind of looking forward to my 40s.

There are a couple of things, though, that do make me wonder a little bit. When you think about people that have been incredibly successful by the time they are 40, or shortly therafter, it makes you take a little stock in your life.

You think about young 40-somethings like J.K. Rowling - of Harry Potter, Inc. - and how Rowling has changed children’s literature forever. Or Johnny Depp, who was named People magazine’s “sexiest man alive” at age 40.

That kind of success is hard to live up to. I mean, I occasionally collect aluminum cans and I always treat well at Halloween, but I’m no Johnny Depp. Really.

But I do feel young. I have a job that forces me to want to stay young. I am around young people almost every day and I will show no weakness. There might be an occasional “Goo!” when I have to get off the bench in the dugout, or a knee might lock up on a trip up some rickety bleachers, but I plan on being there every day keeping it real. Really.

And I think that’s why I’m not that worried about 40. Okay, I’m worried that someone might put an ad in the paper that says “Lordy, Lordy Look Who’s 40”, but that’s just because it is the most annoying phrase ever uttered.

And, oh yeah, there’s those prostrate exams I am supposed to be scheduling on a yearly basis now, too, but, for the most part, things are cool.

Now a few facts about my birthday:

• I share the same special day with Tim McGraw (country) and Calamity Jane (western), yet I hate country and western music. Go figure.

• I share the same birthday with Ray Parker Jr. I have no explanation for that, but it is kind of cool.

• The Empire State Building was completed on May 1, 1931. We are a lot alike, me and the ESB, we both have a lot of stories.

• And, my birthday is a Russian holiday aimed at getting worker’s a shorter work day. Perfect.

My gut feeling is that this coming Thursday will come and go pretty quietly, which is more than I can say for this past year, which had some major developments.

I left a job I had held for over 15 years to come back to my hometown and work which was the first major development of Year 39. I also met a ton of new people, including some awesome co-workers, who make my job a joy every day. Lastly, I got some new wheels.

So if I can make Year 40 as great as Year 39 I will have no worries at all. Really.

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Taking Stock Turning 40 by Steve

This December I turn 40. I don’t know why but I‘ve become so utterly depressed about it. My 20’s & 30’s breezed by with barely a thought about my age, but for some reason turning 40 has hit hard. It feels like yesterday I was finishing school & today I’m suddenly almost 40. I don’t feel 40.

I feel the same as I did when I was 18. Maybe not quite the same shape but mentally I do. Lately I’ve found myself reminiscing of my teens & early 20’s, listening to music from that time, looking at old photos and talking to my friends about the things we did. Some days are good others are bad. Some days it just seems to consume my every thought & feeling. I lie awake at night thinking of the past, remembering things probably more as I want to remember them, through rosy coloured glasses.

I try to remind myself of all the great things that I’ve seen & done. I’m married to an absolutely beautiful and wonderful person who is my best friend, have a great marriage, a beautiful daughter & another one due soon. I live in a beautiful part of the world, own a great house, and have seen so much of the world.

I know I’ve been fortunate, and don’t deny that, but I just can’t help focusing on turning 40. Both of my parents died relatively young and that may be a major contributor to the feeling that there are less days ahead now than there are behind me. I miss them terribly.

Maybe it’s the reality that my time has past & it’s now my children’s time to discover the world, to have their own adventures and experiences. It’s their world now. Maybe 40 makes you take stock of things and reflect on your life. Thinking of all the things I wanted to be and the man I became.

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A Poem On Turning 40 by Michelle

On Turning 40

Michele Sundstrom

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Turning 40 by Jenny

Deep breathe in..I will be 40 on Sunday…Slowly breathe out… There I’ve said it.
Ive not quite got my head round the thought of being 40. That is definately a grown up age. Am I grown up? Do I behave like a responsible mature adult? Should I by now be buying The Daily Mail (This will never happen, while I am still able to form a thought! (unless they give away a good free DVD)), worrying about the price of property, harking back to a golden era (The 80s!!!), bemoaning how easy it is for the “Youth of Today”,and saying things like “why can’t they write a proper tune! like those nice New Romantics”, “What sort of name is 50 Cents”,and “Wot is it wit all this txt speak! lol”? The stark reality is that I am now as closer to my parent’s generation, than to that of someone leaving University.
In a desperate bid to still feel vaguely attached to a youthful age I am currently scouring application forms and surveys where I can tick a box labled Age : 20 - 39. I can do this for 3 days only!
I never thought my actual chronological age would bother me, but clearly it does. It is surely no coincidence that I started blogging 2 weeks before my 40th. There is a danger that instead of becomming more responsible post 40, I will have contra reaction and start to behave more erratically. I may even consider a tattoo, although it may well just say “Best before Feb 2007″
All joking aside, turning 40 has made me reflect. My main regret is that I took so long to get to grips with who I really am, and I will never get that time back. I must endeavour to make sure the 2nd half of my life, living as I always wanted to be, are the most fulfilled and cherished years of my life.
Posted by Jenny Harvey (Still in her 30s)

Posted in Getting Closer, Looking Back | 1 Comment »

Margot Looks Back

I will be turning the big 40, on June 29th. Now this isn’t a pathetic plea for birthday greetings. Although they are appreciated. No, This article is my take on turning the dreaded 40 years old. So light me a candle, and frost the cake, because I’m going to be telling you all some of my thoughts.

When I was in the second grade, I was certain I would never see forty. Hey, I was only 7 and the year 2000 sounded impossible. Being forty sounded extremely old to me. I think it does for all seven year olds.

I remember Sister Mary Margaret, my teacher, talking about how lucky we would be. To be turning forty, in the year 2000. It is going to be magical, she said. Magical? Was she kidding? I would have to be working, or have three or four kids by then. I would be too old to enjoy any of the “Magic”.

As I got a bit older, still in the same grammar school, I over heard a teacher saying she was forty. I hadn’t thought of her as old until then. I figured she had to be the oldest teacher in the school.

When I graduated eighth grade, all I could think of was turning fifteen. I did just a week after graduation. I dreamed of all of the fun and how grown up I was going to be in my teens.

That summer I went through a sort of metamorphosis. I made friends with a Public School girl, and came out of my sheltered life. I also got a lot more responsibility at that time. My mother had to go to work, and I had to really help with keeping up the house, cooking dinner and so much more.

There I was fifteen years old just coming into my own. I was also becoming an adult much earlier that I had planned. I don’t know how I did it. I was juggling new friendships, new responsibilities, and all of the things young teens go through. OK, My teens weren’t as carefree as I had planned. Yet I still told myself I was just a kid. For some reason, that made me feel better. I mean, hey, kids have it easy, right?

I made it through my teens, trudging along all the way. Oh, I had plenty of good times. Don’t feel sorry for me. I sure didn’t.

I remember the day I turned twenty-one, vividly. I hid in my bedroom nearly all day. Whether I liked it or not, I was fully, and legally an adult. I could no longer relax behind the vial of childhood. I was an adult, and like it or not, I had to act like one.

Actually I had been acting as an adult from fifteen, but now everyone expected of me. It was a given. Yet still, in the back of my mind I would never see forty. I don’t know why, at that point in my life, I still felt that way, but I did.

All through my thirties, I would cringe when anyone talked about the year 2000. Not because I thought the world would come to an end, but that I would. After thirty-five, it seemed like it was all anyone talked about. I couldn’t stand it. Didn’t they know I wasn’t going to see forty? Didn’t they care?

At thirty-nine my thinking started to change. It was starting to look like I just might make it to forty. I started, slowly at first, getting excited about forty. By October, I started my celebration plans. Now huge party that I know of any way. Just me, out on the acre, with a bottle of Jack Daniels enjoying the day. I will celebrate my turning forty, and life it’s self that had brought me this far. That far and beyond.

It has taken me thirty-nine years, but I no longer fear any oncoming age. I will embrace each one and give thanks for letting me get there.

Thanks, for allowing me to ramble a bit. I think we all need to do that once in a while.

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Turning 40 by Wayne

Turning 40 quotes:
“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
“Forty isn’t old, if you’re a tree”
“At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment.”

Yep, that’s right, yesterday I turned 40. Woo hoo! I took the day off, spent it with my precious family and ate a lot. It was good to be the birthday king.

My lovely wife and I were talking about history yesterday; the historical account of my turning 30. I had forgotten how traumatic it was for me. I did not take it well. But interestingly, entering a new decade yesterday was a great day. No fuss, no stress, no hand wringing and no trauma. I stumbled upon a “turning 40” blog today and I got to tell you, either those folks are not doing well or I’m the most well adjusted human on earth.

I would imagine it has something to do with my love for God having grown, my love for my wife having grown and my love for my children having grown. I don’t get warm fuzzies very often (my wife can verify), but that last sentence brings them.

At 40 I realize, maybe more than ever, what’s truly important.

Have an awesome day today!

Wayne

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My Own Life Assessment by Yana

From Fabulously40.com

The Big “Four-O” — A Time For Reflection

Unlike many, turning 40 was not a heartbreaking experience for me.

Instead, I saw it as a much-needed time for reflection and introspection. For sitting back and analyzing what I had accomplished up to that point and trying to determine what should go next on my “to do” list of life. In the process, I came to the somewhat unsettling realization that my ideas of success, as well as my priorities, had changed significantly over the last few years.

While growing up, my parents constantly impressed upon me that family came first. As an adult, that core value remains dear to me today. However, it’s interesting to see how that value plays out differently today than 18 years ago.

Now, the small worries of preschoolers catching a cold have turned into the deeper concerns of teenagers getting into the right colleges, staying away from drugs, finding good friends and making the right choices. Increasingly, these concerns have become a major focal point of my life. At the same time, while my parents remained the backbone of my upbringing, it became apparent that our roles were slowly changing as well. Their health was gradually declining, and my time had come to start looking after them.
I feel very fortunate to have grown up with very young parents and two sets of grandparents. I also loved the fact that my children knew both their grandparents and their great grandparents. My kids learned so much from them, and I take special pride in knowing they had that opportunity. It was sad for all of us watching my grandparents get older and more fragile. But it was wonderful to see my children take care of them and return the love that had been given to them through the years.

I also took some time to look back and analyze my friendships. I felt blessed to have many of the same friends remain close for more than 20 years. In fact, my best friend from high school, Julia, whom I’ve known since our early teens, is still my very best friend. Our friendship has grown and evolved for 28 years.

True Friendship Stands the Test of Time

So what’s the point of this blog?

It’s not about what I achieved in my life on a professional level, or how much money I made or lost. Rather, it’s to dig into the relationships I have with my friends and see how they made my life so meaningful and rewarding. Too often, when looking back, we judge ourselves by the “trappings” of our lives — the jobs, bank accounts, material possessions and all the things we put so much time and energy into acquiring. Yet in the end, I’ll take a good friend over any of those, any time.

To me, the most important aspect of friendship is the support, cheerleading and nourishment that such a relationship offers over the years. As we grow older, we all change. However, in true friendship, we change and grow together. And that’s why it’s so important to have good friends close to you during the tough times as well as the joyful ones.

In many ways, friendship is like marriage because you have to work on it every day. It’s not easy to meet someone at a young age and maintain a close relationship. For friendship to thrive, you have to be considerate of each other’s feelings and respect each other’s values and beliefs. But you also have to be sensitive to the little things, such as a friend’s financial status when going out for a night on the town.

My father always said that you could judge a person by how many true friends he or she has. Maybe that’s why friendship has meant so much to me all my life. Being Fabulously Forty, I would like to pass this on to my children and encourage you to pass it on to yours:

Acquaintances may come and go, but family and friends are the true anchors of life. Never lose sight of the fact that they are precious, no matter what the circumstances.

Yana Berlin is the founder and CEO of Fabulously40, devoted to the celebration of all things: especially women, and the challenges and joys they face juggling their careers, children, relationships, and life’s other issues. Fabulously 40.com is a social network for women that catalyzes its members to celebrate and embrace their life. Since launching, Fabulously40, Mrs. Berlin has been connecting, and supporting women all over the world.

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39 + 1 by Jon

Today’s the day I stop worrying about turning 40. Because it’s done, and there’s nothing I can do about it, except remind myself to be grateful that I’ve gotten this far.

Over the past week, there has been terrible news. An acquaintance has been killed, a baseball player died, friends and family both received very concerning health news. Everything I need to put my life in perspective is here. I have been given great gifts. I just wish I felt better about how I was using them.

My misgivings about turning 40 have been considerable, but not rising from a general discomfort with growing old - though, I have to say, that number 40 seems as huge today as 30 once did (knowing full well that in 10 years time, both will seem impossibly young). It’s been this feeling that I’ve been moving backward as much as I’ve been moving forward.

That is really a stupid thought, given all that has happened in the past decade. Ten years ago, I was single and barely employed. Today, I am 7 1/2 years into marriage, with two children and - Breaking News - a third one on the way, a second little boy, coming right around the time the Dodgers will make their Coliseum appearance in March. (Talk about your Moon Shots!)

My career, after a pretty major detour, has also been on an upswing since last year - and that’s a relief. And Dodger Thoughts has been an unexpectedly rewarding pleasure.

But during the past 10 years, I abandoned the career that I really wanted, and to this day I regret the decision. A few somewhat out-of-touch acquaintances of mine this month have asked me if I were on strike (with the Writers Guild of America), and I found myself feeling sad to say that I wasn’t.

I wish I were screenwriting. In fact, I have an idea burning a hole in the pocket of my brain right now, but I have no time to work on it. Screenwriting, for me, is not like blogging. In the time that it takes me to get out what would qualify as a medium-to-long post on Dodger Thoughts, I’d just be getting warmed up to work on a script. That first hour of screenwriting was more like calisthenics than anything else. My life, these days, simply isn’t conducive to writing fiction.

But it’s not just the notion of a dream deferred or denied that has had me down. It’s that with the passing of that dream has come the passing of any chance of being worry-free when it comes to income. The fact is, short of actually being a working Hollywood writer, my job at Variety is about as happy a situation as I could have found. But it’s journalist pay. Nothing much there.

I can’t think of much that is more distasteful than complaining about money, and the fact is, I make more than plenty of people. So my point isn’t to cry poverty. It’s just to articulate this reality that my income isn’t keeping up with how much I’m spending on day-to-day life, even though I’m trying to keep those expenses to a minimum. This year, in fact, I will have made more money than I ever had before, and yet I’m still not earning what I need to. I’ve gone from fiscally responsible to irresponsible, with each passing year getting harder, regardless of what I should be earning or spending. That’s why I feel like I’m moving backward. I spend a great deal of time worrying. I find myself talking about it with other people even though it’s the last thing I want to talk about, because it’s so inexorably a part of what’s going on with me in my head. Money matters more to me than I could have ever dreamed possible 10 years ago - it’s poisoning my life. But moving to a cabin in Montana isn’t an option.

Ten years ago, I had sincere fears of hitting 40 lonely, not in financial decline. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I feel fortunate. I love this family of mine. But I’m just sharing with you that, in all honesty, when I see those bills, I have to remind myself to feel good about myself. It’s embarrassing, really.

Another place where I’m suffering is with my friends. In the past month, by coincidence, my best friend from college and my best friend from high school came into town for the first time since my wedding, and I had the chance to catch up with them for a couple hours apiece. Each time, with no effort, we fell into that incredible groove of conversation that best friends have. And then they were gone, eventually heading back to Michigan and Colorado. I still have my best best friend sleeping in the same bed with me, and my parents 10 minutes away (and don’t think I underestimate that). But aside from them, I just don’t really have anybody that tight. All my closest friends live elsewhere, and we’re horrible at keeping in touch. It’s just not right.

Perhaps most importantly - and this should be clear by the melancholy tone of this piece - I’m not entirely happy with the person I am, about how I can be angry and selfish and self-defeating. It’s not that I don’t have my good qualities, but I don’t really feel like I’m evolving. I’m meeting some of the greater challenges of my life, but I’m not keeping pace. As my world becomes centered around getting my work done, and making sure I give my kids what they need instead of screwing them up, and trying to juggle my pregnant wife’s prayer to get 15 more minutes of sleep in against my desire to have 15 minutes to myself, I feel more like I’m devolving, unless the fact that my life belongs more to others is the real evolution. I often tell people that now, the days take longer but the years fly by. It’s the strangest thing.

If I could give myself completely to my family, or take myself completely away, I’d be happy. But I find myself want to straddle the two, which are contradictory. Me Time vs. Them Time. Why can’t Them Time be Me Time 100 percent instead of less?

People can minimize it all they want, but these round-numbered birthdays are times that I take stock, and looking at myself, I see a complicated picture. I see things to celebrate, even to take pride in. But I don’t always take pride in myself. Just trying to survive each day and punch out a few good moments without screwing up doesn’t seem like much to crow about.

I’d like to say I love my life, but love implies accepting the good and the bad, let alone the simply irritating, and I struggle. My family can be a trial at times, but it gives me a kind of joy you simply can’t otherwise imagine, and I can honestly say that my favorite moment of any day are the moments that I walk my little girl to kindergarten, or hugging the kids good night. But I keep wanting perfection. I’m 40 years old and still a spoiled brat.

Anyway, when I went to bed Sunday, I turned out the light, looked at my clock glowing with its LCD display, prepared to tick off the last 45 minutes of my 30s, and said to myself, “Screw it. I’m just going to be a young 40.” It’s going to take some effort, but it’s pretty much the only way to go.

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Still Going at 40 by David

Wow…..40…. Im turning 40 in exactly 1 hour, 45 minutes. This is sooooo surreal. I don’t feel forty. I still feel like I did when I was 21. My sex drive is as strong as it ever was…My energy level is almost as strong. I can still stay up late & mostly function the next day. So what’s the big deal about turning forty anyways???? I just looked in the mirror & saw the same guy Ive always seen. Sure my hair is a little (ok A LOT) grey around the temples & I suppose it seems a little thinner on top, but I still look like me. Maybe just a little more…seasoned I suppose. Its so funny, in my youth I never really thought about where I’d be when I hit this age. (Hell, Im not even sure I ever thought about hitting this age period). Now I look around & see where I am & what Ive done with my life…. I started out my adult life as a high school dropout w/ a D average. Now 22 years later (damn has it been that long?!) I have a house w/pool & a view, a beautiful wife & 2 beautiful little girls all of whom I love dearly; 3 dogs,1 cat 2 tanks of fish, 2 parakeets & a miniature rabbit. I have owned my own business & seen it flourish under my vision, then destroyed due to my own mistakes. I have owned 3 boats, 2 cars, 3 trucks, & a motorcycle, I have worked hard & have acted lazily. I have lost old friends & made new ones. I have forgotten things I would have sworn Id never forget & have learned things I never would have thought Id have a need to know. I have many regrets…some for things I never tried, most for things Ive done, I have many, many memories both happy & sad. I have broken hearts & have had mine broken in turn. I have become an expert in my chosen career & earned the respect of my peers & my rivals. I have at times past lied & hurt the woman I love & spend every day trying to atone for these through thought & deed.

As I sit here reflecting on my life I realize that this indeed HAS been a journey.. One that continues on each & every day. There are so many things left for me to do, so many dreams for me to try & fulfill. I have always held that life should be what you make of it. Shit happens, but that doesn’t mean it should get you down. For me then…., I will make turning 40 not so much of a milestone in my life, but simply a marker saying “stillllll going”. I think that I will continue to define my life not by where I have been, but for where I have yet to go.

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Zeroing in on 40

BY BRETT OPPEGAARD, Columbian staff writer

Amelia Earhart was just 22 days from her 40th birthday when her airplane disappeared while crossing the Pacific Ocean. She remarked before taking off on the world-spanning stunt, “I have a feeling that there is just about one more good flight left in my system, and I hope this trip is it.”

Her comments reflect the crossroads of the age. Turning 40 can be inspiring as well as deflating. Most people in the 19th century didn’t even reach that milestone birthday. But as medicine and sanitation improved, life expectancies dramatically rose. So did expectations and hopes. New crises emerged.

“This is the first time in history that people in their 40s, 50s and 60s are caught with their parents becoming dependent on them while they still have children in high school and college,” said Dr. Barbara Ensor, a psychologist specializing in aging issues at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore, Md. “People in the middle of this ‘Sandwich Generation’ are pretty stressed out. They might have thought that this would be the time in their lives to take vacations and cruises. But that’s turning out to not be the case. That can be depressing.”

Add these new complications to classic mid-life-crisis feelings, and being 39 today ends up being more complex and emotional than ever.

Ensor said, “In a positive fashion, it’s a time to stop and look and evaluate where you’ve been and where you are going. Do you need to make major changes? Do you need to tweak anything? Maybe it’s time to go off on another career. … If you are given to a more negative interpretation, this is the beginning of the end.”

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I turned 40 yesterday by Alastair

I turned 40 yesterday (August 1st) and have to confess to feeling very strange in the couple of days leading up to it.  I suppose contemplative and philosophical - the sort of feeling that you can get when someone close to you dies and for a time you have a different angle on life and reclassify many of the things that you had come to think were important to you.  Inevitably normality gradually returns and I imagine it will do so on this occasion too.

I have nothing to feel unhappy with turning 40 - I have a great life, but there is something about it that is affecting me.  I am thinking back to events that were 10, 20 even 25 and 30 years ago that I remember and amazing myself dealing with blocks of time that are not insignificant and that I have personally lived.

 A friend of mine who is 43 now trying to cheer me up mentioned that 40 was the new 30, and I do feel this had a thread of truth to it so I am not going to spend my time being morose - I suppose I am more intrigued by a state of mind washing over a normally very clear-thinking individual which is purely the arrival at this milestone.  Another mitigating factor is that I have certainly done some hair-brain things in my time and it’s actually quite an achievement in the light of some of those escapades to have achieved it at all.

Anyway I shall continue to contemplate on my new status.  My life is brilliant, my age just begins with a 4! Alastair

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Turning 40 in about a month

It occurred to me on the 21st that, wow, I would be 40 in exactly 1 month. And I was thinking, which is rather a rare occurrence these days as I’m moving too fast to actually thing anymore, and decided that a good way to lead up to the big 4-0 is to share some history here and there over the next month.

So, here it goes…

My first school experiences:

My elementary school was an open classroom environment. It was organized into teams. Teams A and B were each mixed first and second grade; C and D were each mixed third and fourth grade; and E and F were each mixed fifth and sixth grade. We didn’t have desks, there were tables and the walls weren’t fixed but just movable panels. You didn’t have to ask permission to use the bathroom, you just went and came back. It didn’t occur to us to dilly dally or whatever. We were respected and expected to be worthy of that respect and, for the most part, we lived up to it. (After that, going into a traditional-style middle school was AWFUL.) Our principal was Mr. Moshano and I think I can remember most of my teachers: kindergarten: Miss Haak and Mrs. Riley; Team B: Mrs. Sampson, Mrs. Swan, and Mrs. Adams; Team C: Mrs. Daley; Team E: Mrs. Yaworski, Mr. Adama, and Miss VanDyke. I liked my teachers and, as far as I remember, they seemed to like me.

I remember waiting for the bus for Kindergarten. It’s the first day of school. I’m wearing a blue turtleneck I think and a red/green/blue plaid kilt/skort thingie (yes, it was public school; this was the 70s, remember - fall of 1972, I expect). It’s warm and sunny, midday. The maple trees in the yard are still green. I remember very little about the school day itself. And I cried at the end of the day because I didn’t know which bus to get on and I was scared.

The second day of school, I had on a yellow knitted or crocheted skirt that my grandmother had made and on the way home Mike Barone pulled it up to look under it. I, of course, cried.

I remember being in 2nd grade and so frustrated with math, being kept in the classroom at lunch for special help and, you got it, crying. I also remember in second grade though, going with my friend Maggie to the 3rd grade for reading - lest you think all I did was cry!

I remember all through elementary school having to go to “special gym”, which was, for me at least, intended to address my eye-hand coordination issues. I remember having to do mazes and make sure that my pencil didn’t touch the sides at all. I had to practice using scissors and such.

I remember the auditions for “Ghost Towns Never Die”; I was probably 5th or 6th grade. I was one who had been asked to stay and took it upon myself to repeat Miss Muller’s statement that “if you haven’t been asked to stay, you can go back to class.” How perfectly wretched and insensitive of me! I remember the show itself - my character’s name was Nancy and the only line I remember is “It’s in my saddle bag; it’s in my paint set!” (had to do with cobwebs and turpentine being the solution for a sprained ankle - go figure).

I remember Mark Kellogg calling me the “green machine” and “booger picker”. My school life changed permanent for the worse when he started that. There is nothing schoolkids love more than someone to pick on and the stigma lasted well into high school. I remember Mr. Moshano came upon me crying (he was sitting in for Mrs. Yaworski who called in sick and they couldn’t get a sub) and he just sat down on the floor next to me and asked me why I was crying. He was a very nice man.

I remember someone putting my purse in the toilet when everyone was out at field day on the last day of school in 6th grade. (Yes, I did cry.) I remember Nora Bradbury coming to find me and helping me fish it out and just being with me when I needed a friend. We never did find out who did it but I still think (very un-Christianly) that I’d like that person to suffer the same pain that poor little gawky, geeky 6th grader suffered.

And now I’m crying in memory of that - how sad is that? But I’m really tired so one can never trust one’s emotions when one is so tired. So, now that I’ve left you with the first chapter in my personal history, I’m going to bed.

Coming in future posts: the peepee tree and the rolling thing (or “my backyard”, growing up in a rural town, the 9th grade banquet, the hilarity of vice grips (I know, they don’t *sound* funny….)

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Halfway there….I turn 40 today

When I was in high school I swam competitively.  I swam the 100 yard backstroke. The strategy for winning that race consisted of 3 things:

1. A strong start
2. An excellent third lap
3. Not dieing on the last 15 yards

So, today (and the next stage of life) is all about coming out of the second flip turn and having an excellent third lap. Need I say anymore?

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Relive Your Youth with Music and Lyrics

A review of the recent movie Music and Lyrics explains how it is “…for those of us 40-somethings who lived through the past 25 years in utter denial…the film is a self-help book wrapped up in catchy pop music and lyrics.”

Contrary to the blogsphere, Music and Lyrics isn’t a chick-flick for teens, rather it’s for the teenagers of the 1980s who are now soundly into their 40s. At once both a retrospective and an introspection, it stars Hugh Grant as the former 80s pop star, Alex Fletcher and Drew Barrymore as his mercurial 15-year younger, unexpected co-lyricist, Sophie Fisher. An opportunity to write and perform a new pop ballad with teen queen of the day, Cora (Haley Bennett), turns the fortunes of both around. Writer / Director Marc Lawrence delivers, for those of us 40-somethings who lived the past 25 years in utter denial of what was going on and feeling powerless to do anything but hide behind the jobs we took to placate our parents and the lives we lived to satisfy the marketers, a film that is a self-help book wrapped up in catchy pop music and lyrics

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Turning 40 Years Old by Andrea

It is 2006 - The Year of The Dog, The Year of the Round-Toed Pump and, most importantly, the year that many of my friends, former schoolmates and I turn 40 years old. One by one, each of us from the Class of 1985 will fall like dominos, crossing over from the last thread of youth that some of us are hanging on to for dear life, to an age where we must finally face what we truly are - adults!

This birthday is different. It is not like when we turned 25 or even the once-dreaded 30 - it’s forty! At what point after your last birthday did you start trying to be ‘okay’ with turning 40? How many times have you asked yourself “Who would have thought?” when you realized you would actually soon reach an age that we once thought of as ‘old’? I can hardly believe it myself. Nevertheless, there’s absoluteley nothing we can do about it, so we might as well take this time to reflect on the people we have developed into over these past 40 years, the achievements we have made and the goals we look forward to pursuing.

All these years have taken us on different turns - for some of us, to parts unknown and places unimaginable, like marriage, children, divorce, and in many cases, the brave venture into remarriage. Many of our peers who we assumed would be successfull in their chosen careers have not disappointed us, while others, who seemingly had potential when we were younger and dreaming of our futures, have surprise us by not taking full advantage of their talents. Some have endured heart-wrenching, tumultuous relationships in their pasts, some are single and enjoying their freedom and independence, reaping the well deserved benefits of jobs and careers and accepting the fact that not everyone is meant to follow a textbook version of what life is supposed to be.

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Turning 40 turns out not to be too bad by Chad Killebrew

I enjoyed celebrating my 40th birthday Wednesday. My co-workers gave me a birthday card that featured blurry letters, and several cleverly smudged their handwriting on the inside. Being able to laugh at ourselves certainly makes getting older a little easier.

Forty is one of those landmark birthdays that indicates - what, exactly? It certainly doesn’t bring the expectations of 16, 18 or 21, when a person’s life stretches out before them with seemingly endless possibilities. Some see 40 as the stage when a midlife crisis will soon approach, and I have certainly seen some men make major life decisions in their early 40s.

Some aspects of turning 40 give me pause. The average life expectancy for a white male in the United States was 75.7 in 2004, according to government statistics. That means I’m closer to death than birth. That realization will stop you in your tracks.

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On Turning 40 by Raul Gutierrez

By the time I finish writing this post I’ll be 40. Many friends have been sent into mini panics by this particular milestone (one friend who still has a few months to go before his 40th keeps making gloomy pronouncements like, “the first half of your life it is all about possibility and doing stuff, and then you just start losing things…” But then again he’s been having midlife crisis after midlife crisis since turning 20), but this is not my style. It is true that by 40 you become aware of your own mortality. Most of us by 40 have lost grandparents and people in our parents generation are dying at an increasingly alarming rate. But this sadness is countered by the delight in all the children being born. At 40 virtually all of my long time friends are married and busy making families. Two of my friends have just had their 5th kids. (They have their own basketball teams!) And children are the enemies of complacency. I wish sometimes I had met my wife earlier and that we had had kids earlier. I was 12 when my dad turned 40. 17 when my my mom turned 40, she died only 5 years later.

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Aurevoir 40 by Madeleine L’Engle

Wow, so we’re all now officially in our forties. You know how in old movies they would depict Time Passing by showing pages flying off of a calendar? That’s how I used to want time to go. All through my teens and 20s, I had that metaphor in mind, just wanting to go Forward. To what? I’m not entirely sure. I guess to having a partner who loved me, a secure nest, and a calling. Having those things now, I find myself wanting time to stand still. Or at least slow down. But, of course, they don’t. They whirl forward. Perhaps a shift is needed in my perspective?

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