I have my true love by my side and have had him there for the last 20 years. I have the neatest 4 year old in the world, who turned our life upside down in the best possible way. I have amazing friends, who really understand me, and threw me the perfect low key, but truly special party last night. I also have a true understanding and acceptance of who I am, and with this knowledge, I have a peace that wasn’t even possible in my teens, 20’s or 30’s. In short, I have love in abundance. So instead of feeling remotely bad about being 40, I feel grateful that I have such a wonderful life and happy to see what the future holds.

I’m here because my friends loved me and believed in me and sent me to a world class leadership program. I’m alone because I must be, and I’m getting a tree on my back because the tree is the symbol of my true life.

Beauty and pain are inextricably linked. Authenticity–what my new tattoo represents–is not possible without pain.

So, many years ago I set clear intentions for my life:  I want my insides to match my outsides. I want to be real. I want to live authentically. I knew at the time that this was not an easy task. I knew it would cost me things to live out those intentions. Mostly I knew that I would have to drastically change for those intentions to turn into reality.

Today–I turn 40.

I’m here to tell you that it is possible to live an authentic life. I’m finding authenticity growing in my own life. More and more what the world sees is really what is going on inside me.

Truth. My life has never been better. Ever.

I get to do what I love every day. I have the most amazing friends in the world. I get to be a dad to two smart, beautiful, accomplished, and kind children. I get to experience relationships with truth and intimacy.

But, like in the tattoo parlor, this beauty doesn’t come painlessly. In early June, my personal life came crashing apart. My biggest fear came true and my closest relationship came to an abrupt end. I was abandoned. I was devastated. I could barely breathe. I have never experienced such searing pain.

It was in these moments that my friends showed up. They have shown up emotionally. They have shown up physically from all over. They have shown up financially. I have been loved in the midst of my vulnerability.

What I have learned from these friends is that I am believed in. That I made a difference in their life and in my need they want to do the same for me. I have learned that I am valuable just as I am—just because I am Ken.

I enter my 40s in the best place I have ever been.

Join me in my celebration of authenticity. Discover for yourself what being real looks like. Enter into it. Experience it. Tell me what you discover.

So here I am – today – turning 40. It doesn’t feel right because I just don’t picture myself as 40. In my mind I see myself somewhere in my late 20′s or 30′s. Maybe it’s because I don’t know what 40 feels like yet.

Honestly my 30′s were a mix of good and bad. I got married and divorced in my 30′s. I bought and sold a house in my 30′s. I found out I can’t have kids in my 30′s and realized that I can never ever live without a dog in my life. I worked at 5 companies. I became an aunt – twice. I witnessed the passing of all 4 of my grandparents and several other loved ones. I experienced a lot, lived a lot and learned a lot.

These are the top things I have learned in the past 40 years:

1. I never knew the power of a dog in my life until I got one; now I cannot imagine a life without one – ever.

2. I have come to realize that following my passion might be fun but it isn’t going to pay the bills. I am a realist.

3. My family is the best thing that has ever happened to me I will go down fighting for them in any circumstance.

4. Italian food wins, hands down, every time

5. The grass is not always greener but sometimes you have to visit it, and roll around in it for awhile to realize it.

6. Money does not solve all problems, but it can makes the ones you have easier.

7. I rent my apartment and I love it. I love it much more than the house I owned for 2.5 years.

8. I would rather have you hold my heart than hold my hand. I can take care of myself if I need to but I prefer to do it while you are loving me.

9. I don’t have room for unnecessary drama in my life any longer. With age comes wisdom about just how unnecessary drama is nothing more than draining.

10. I am an open person. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I will share a lot with you. If you betray my trust I will never share with you again.

11. I am crier. I cry when I am sad, nostalgic, angry, frustrated, and even sometimes when I am happy. Just pass the tissues I will be fine.

12. I don’t judge you, but if you judge me I WILL judge you right back. Sorry I am just not that big of a person.

13. Sometimes I eat cereal for dinner and grilled cheese sandwiches for breakfast. I haven’t died yet.

14. Cotton over silk, denim over linen, and fleece over cashmere all the time (well ok not fleece over cashmere ALL the time)

15. A good pair of black boots, a sweet pair of jeans and a black sweater can work every time.

16. Bon Jovi forever.

17. A quiet night in can be just as thrilling as a wild night out.

18. Food should be eaten to enjoy not just to sustain.

19. Sometimes being right is not as important as admitting when you are wrong.

20. I will probably never keep a blog for more than one year before I change URLs – so follow me if you want.

21. I love watching football in the fall – yes, a girl who enjoys a Sunday of wings, football, and being lazy in front of the games.

22. Halloween is probably my least favorite holiday followed by St. Patrick’s Day.

23. Thanksgiving and Christmas are my favorites.

24. Kissing someone new and amazing in the rain is one of the best feelings ever.

25. I keep saying I want to go skydiving and I do; but I keep chickening out.

26. I am completely and utterly open to any possibilities that come my way in the coming year.

I was hoping to come up with 14 more to make an even 40 – keep coming back I’ll come up with them eventually.

more from Michelle at www.viewfrom40.com

It’s all been very painful for months and I don’t think that I accepted that I was going to be entering my fourth decade until about 4 or 5 days before the big event. I don’t know how I managed it in the end, but thank goodness I did. Accepting it made it easier to go with it and just enjoy the celebrations. It’s still all quite new to me though and every time someone makes an “oh so funny” comment about being over the hill, it rubs on a raw patch all over again. It doesn’t happen that often and I know I need to get used to it, but at the moment I really hate it.

I’m getting plenty of opportunity to get used to my new age though. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve had to say “I’m 40″ over the last few weeks! I’ve read a few posts here and like a few people, it seems to hurt more because I’m single and have no children. I have some great friends who’ve done a great job in helping me to celebrate and I’ve definitely enjoyed the celebrations, even if I have found the life event itself an uncomfortable and challenging experience. I did manage to put my 40 cards up (although I was quite relieved to be able to take them down again!) and although turning 40 was difficult, being 40 itself seems to be okay so far!

Turning 40 isn’t all that different from turning 39 or 38. Ever since turning 35, I’ve been closer to 40 than 30, so I’ve more or less considered myself as much “about 40” as “in my thirties.” That’s not to say that I feel older after crossing into the forth decade. Some say that 40 is the new 30, and in some ways I think that’s true. Turning 40 is considered a milestone, a crossing over into a new chapter of life. But only if you frame it that way. After all, it’s only a number and you’re only as old as you feel. (Are clichés a sign of advanced age?)

I do notice some of the signs of age: more aches and pains than ten years ago. Less patience with rude people or annoying situations. More tolerance of those who care and try. I feel muscles and joints I never knew existed before. My father-in-law used to say that if you’re over 30 and you wake up and nothing hurts, that means you’re dead. For me, that seems to be the case at 30. (Again, 40 is the new 30.)

I also find that my memory has become more dependent on Google and the Droid. It’s not so much that I can’t remember things, but that it’s faster to search cyberspace than the crevices of my own mind.

But those pains and shorter fuses and slowing memories are not the result of turning 40. They were set years ago and have gradually grown to what they are now, and will continue to grow. After all, it’s only a number and you’re only as old as you feel. (Are clichés a sign of advanced age?)

A number of friends have shared quotes and jokes about turning 40. Schopenhauer said, “The first forty years of life give us the text, the next thirty supply the commentary on it.”

Eli Cass said, “Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons.”

Benjamin Franklin, who has something to say about everything, said “At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty the wit; at forty the judgment.” Ann Landers wrote, “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.”

Those last couple quotes (20-40-60) bring about one startling thought that has been haunting me a bit. Now, at 40, I’m just as close to 60 as I am to 20. And getting closer every day. That’s an odd thought. Even though I look at kids in their 20s and see them as “youngsters,” when I think of myself at 20, it doesn’t seem all that far away. I feel closer to 20 than 60. I never was very good at math.

Another interesting reflection: how the decades shift in one’s mind. I lived through the 80s and 90s and remember a time when the 60s and 70s seemed uncool. Now, the normal 90s seem like the most embarrassing decade of all. Those other decades are the “normal” ones. That will change, I’m sure. Soon we’ll be seeing skinny ties, block Afros, and tall, gelled spike hairstyles again. Where are my old silk shirts?

As it turns out, 40 is more of a sounding board than a milestone. A time to reflect on what has passed and evaluate what is to come. So now for a little of that.

I’m in a good place, at 40. Perhaps this is the best time in history to be 40. Technology is advance, knowledge is accessible, medicine keeps us younger than the generations before us. I have instant access to friends, information, music, art, literature, history, you name it — across the globe. But we’re not cyborgs just yet; we don’t plug in to our smart phones directly. I’m not rich, but I live a rich life — richer, in many ways, than the royalty of a hundred years ago. Our lives today are full of conveniences, comforts, variety.

I feel like I’m personally a very fortunate 40-year-old. I still have almost all of the family I grew up with — both parents, three grandparents, all of my aunts and uncles, my brother. I have a family of my own: a wife of 17 years and two children, one six and the other becoming a teenager just a couple weeks ago. I’m still in touch with friends I’ve known for most of my life, and have made new ones in recent years. I’m doing what I always wanted to do: I write for a living as much as I live for writing.

Not to mention that it is now, in my 40th year, that I’m attaining my lifelong goal of becoming a published novelist. Tracks, my novel in stories, is being published by Atticus Books June 30 of this year. You can learn more about it at www.TracksNovel.com

No, it’s not all roses. In that alternate universe where everything went as planned, I’ve been churning out critically-acclaimed novels every other year fresh out of college, spending nine months of each year living in exotic new locals as research for new novels, focused more on fun than finances.

But all in all, the view is good from 40. And the future looks even better.

Now that I’ve crossed the tracks into a new decade, 40 seems more of the end of the beginning than the beginning of the end. That’s a good thing. Everything so far has been prologue. Life begins at 40. (Are clichés a sign of advanced age?) At least I’m not yet repeating myself.

Autumn has always been my favorite time of year, and it’s still spring. I’ll close with a verse from “Men at 40,” a poem by Donald Justice.

“Men at forty
Learn to close softly
The doors to rooms they will not be
Coming back to”

As I approached 40, I decided I would no longer bottle feelings up inside. Already I feel more free and light-hearted. Why didn’t I come to this conclusion before?!?! One of my co-workers had been telling me for years that once you hit your 40s you start to accept yourself more, spend less time worried about what others think….and she was right!

I love being 40. I love being comfortable in my skin and accepting who I am. I love that I am still alive and have a family that loves me. In three years I will pass the age that my mom died. I am grateful for each day that I have with my family and know they will always love me…no matter what color my hair turns or how many lines reveal themselves on my face down the road.

I am turning 40 and have never felt so happy!!! I have been divorced twice and have two beautiful children… surely I had not have it easy. I strongly believe it depends on your attitude towards life and you have to search for happiness inside you. The best relationship you will have in your life is with yourself.

They say 40 is the new 30… or dare I say, the new 20? Joke lang. Age is just a number… And speaking of which, on Twitter (via @tintinbabao) I did a 40-day countdown to my birthday.

In these 40 days, I tried to do something each day… something which I haven’t done in my 40 years, something new and exciting. Also, I went back to doing some of the little simple things which I missed doing for the past years.

Does life really begin at this age?

Counting the days to my birthday, I find myself reflecting on life’s many blessings: Family, friends, work and dreams that have been realized. Even challenges and trials are all blessings.

Turning 40 makes writing this on my birthday month extra special. In the last decade or so of my life, two important things have shaped my decisions — being a parent and protecting the planet that is the source of this very life that I am thankful for.

Realizing how intertwined these two things are, I am motivated moreover to continue learning, talking and living my advocacies.

via Philstar.com

The latest thought as of last weekend to creep in my mind was- as the weather has started to cool down a little- “Man, I have maybe 35-40 Autumn’s left if I’m lucky”. Then there are thoughts of my past that well up. Having had kids in our early 20′s, our lives were all about them. Sometimes I feel as if I was a merely a paycheck at times. An overworked stressed out zombie and I missed out on my 20′s providing for the family, protecting them, teaching them what I thought was right and then working even more.

Is there a bright side to the madness?

I was deployed to Iraq earlier this year with a bunch of kids in their early 20′s. As I watched them spaz over everything from possible enemy contact to fights with their spouses I realized I was just like them when I was in my 20′s- an idiot. Over reacting to the smallest of issues, thinking every little thing might be the end of the world. As I most often calmly dealt with my young soldiers trying to get them to breathe and relax I gained a real appreciation for the transition to 40. I realized that if I took the culmination of the wisdom I have gained up to this point, focused on what I knew to be important and didn’t worry so much about what wasn’t important I would actually get to enjoy life with my less testosteroned, more relaxed, more mature self.

40 has surprisingly turned out be pretty cool. Still young enough to physically do anything (albeit with aches and pains as the cost) and self aware and relaxed enough to actually enjoy and appreciate life. Actually having some idea of what I truly enjoy and what I don’t has it’s pluses also.

Take a deep breathe and jump over the hill.

http://www.flickr.com/people/semperteneo/

My life experiences are just like every one else that grew up in the 70′s and 80′s. The Breakfast Club..16 Candles..Ferris Buelers Day Off…and so on..HaHaHa.

We had it good and still have it good. I am very content with the way my life has turned out and I am embracing my 40 with arms wide open.

My wife and I had kids a little late to focus on our career. I think about my career path and not losing my job in this economy. A lot of stuff…perhaps sadness knowing that both my parents are truly old and one day soon, i will get the call. I am trying to rejoice in this journey. I’m healthy, wonderful wife, two awesome boys (2,4) and a great job. Most of all I know where i’ll be after this life…

I’ve learned that looking back on your past when “things were good”, is OK for a smile, but it is also dangerous when you asking yourself “Am I living a fulfilling life [now!]? I use the word dangerous because of my own experience. Looking back at the past can hinder making the move towards creating a more fulfilling life for one’s self NOW. It can be easy getting caught up in the “I’ve lived the best days; its just maintenance from here.”

For the career person: My career is a critical part of my life. I’m proud of my experience, my accomplishment and my gain of respect of my peers. If you’re obsessed with the importance of your career like I am then perhaps you’ve thought this question to ask yourself “Do I feel as accomplished in my personal life as I do with my career?” Big question; the answer tells a lot about your current emotional state.

Turning 40 yrs old certainly did one thing: It made me think. And to quote Jack Handy from Saturday Night Live “And thats..OK.” But it’s what I do that makes the difference. Pushing through the aches and pains, getting proper exercise, eating a good diet, stretching the parts of my body that stress affects, and appreciating the moments when “things ARE good.”; not when they WERE good.

My Mother, with whom I have a great friendship, recently told me “Erik, this is a very exciting moment in your life.” This was very comforting to me and with all of that said:

1) 40 means you have the experience now and wisdom to do what is healthy; what is right. But more importantly it means, you have the experience and wisdom to avoid what is not healthy; avoiding what you know is just not a good idea.

2) You can jump in and take action anytime. Just hurry up and do it! Get yourself to the gym, even if it sucks starting over again, teach a class at the Library, take a class and the local community college, finally get yourself to yoga after all of your friends have been telling you “You’d love it, I can’t believe you are not doing it, yet.”

3) 40 means things that are no longer a choice: you need to take care of yourself, stretch, make sure to get your heart rate up (there are plenty of workout machines that are very low impact but can still help get your heart rate up), take walks, run (if the pain in your knees isn’t too bad 8^D)…finally, exercise your brain and not just the exterior of you body.

Be good to you. Obviously turning 40 is significant part of life; there is website dedicated to it and if one thing is true – you are reading this – which probably means you looked for something similar to how you are feeling about turning 40.

Erik

Growing up (and eventually growing older) has quite a few advantages in my opinion. When I turned 20, I didn’t know anything about life and I didn’t care. The world was completely open and out there for me to discover. Over the next 10 years I figured things out and found myself, including by moving to another continent and sticking to a job I would enjoy long-term. By the time I turned 30, I felt like I finally graduated to adulthood, and it was a cool place to be. Another 10 years have gone by and at 40, I feel like I have proven myself to other people (I have a career and I can handle two kids, well, most of the time) and now I’d like to prove to myself that I can develop some other talents and interests. Which talents, I’m not sure yet, but that’s what makes life interesting every day.

And yes, my “40 and fabulous” T-shirt from Cafe Press is in the mail, and I can’t wait to wear it! To all moms out there 40 and over, carpe diem! As KebMo says it so well, “life is beautiful, life is wondrous…”

http://perfectingmotherhood.wordpress.com/2010/06/29/today-is-the-big-40-birthday/

I am already dissatisfied with the way I look. Boobs have started their downward spiral, body could stand to lose about 50 lbs., teeth could use a professional whitening treatment or veneers, deep wrinkle in the forhead could use some Botox…the list seems endless. Even more so, I feel like I haven’t accomplished many of the things that I’ve wanted to do for ME.

I feel like I’m complaining, but I’m not. I have a wonderful husband, 3 beautiful daughters, a home…but I have definitely slacked off in what I want for myself. I have never been a good self-motivater or good at tooting my own horn, so I’m not sure exactly where to start. Or maybe I do know where to start but feel overwhelmed. Anyways, good luck and be strong to all the women out there…we all go through it one way or another.

Turning 40 for a woman is kind of like taking ownership of a souped up sports car. You have the keys, you know how to drive it, but where are you going to go? Linda Franklin shows the way. This essential guide is all about women taking ownership of the power that comes of a lifetime of experience. Linda covers topics such as relationships, work and finances and shows how to create the life you want with effective, meaningful strategies. Reading this book felt like a celebration–the author lets us know that it’s high time women of a certain age have fun and not be afraid or ashamed to do so. Thank you Linda!

A Real Cougar is a woman who:

• isn’t afraid to knock down walls and crash through glass ceilings.
• adores men but refuses to be defined by the age of the man she chooses to be with.
• has gotten over listening to what other people think.
• knows how to keep her body healthy, her beauty radiant and her spiritual reservoir full.
• puts financial freedom high on her priority list.

You should read this book if you are a woman who:

• is tired of labels and does not want to be defined by her age.
• wants to live life to the fullest with no regrets.
• refuses to pack up her sexuality and toss it into the closet.
• is determined to break through barriers that have held you back in the past.
• realizes aging is inevitable but how you age is always your choice.

• Mercy is a better than judgment.
• No one is poor who has friends.
• It is better to leave the job and respect yourself than to endure for the sake of economics.

• Being able to look at yourself in the mirror is more important than what other people think.
• Making people angry for fun isn’t cool.
• Degrees and certificates mean very little. The truly educated continue to learn throughout life and don’t consider their education complete when they earn a piece of paper.

• Degrees and certificates are not bad things, though.
• People are more important than things.
• Helping is more important than hoarding.
• Compassion and love are better than being right.
• Accomplishing anything takes hard work.
• No one accomplishes anything without the help of others.
• The “self-made man” and “rugged individualism” are lies. No one is an island.
• Better to be a clay pot that contains beauty than a whitewashed tomb.
• Learning a new language opens the mind to be able to understand things that are inexpressible in other languages.
• Understanding is worth the pursuit, even though you will never understand everything.
• Conversation is better than coerced acquiescence.
• Listening is more difficult and more rewarding than speaking.
• Reading a lot is vital for anyone who desires to write well.
• Only those who listen and learn may become good teachers.
• Volume has nothing to do with correctness.
• Truth is not relative, but perceptions are. To express truth one must first understand the perceptions of the listener.
• Every culture is different, none are perfect, and all contain some beauty and truth worth absorbing.
• Hating or mistreating someone because of how they look, their accent or language, or where they grew up is dumb.
• Fear destroys more than anything other than pride.
• People will often say and do things while anonymous they would never do if their names were attached.
• Some opinions really are worth more than others and not every opinion is actually valid.
• Knowing which opinions are more valid is rarely easy, so listening to all of them is important.
• It is okay to be wrong if you are teachable because then being wrong doesn’t have to be destructive.
• Very few people are teachable because humility is difficult.
• Anyone who treats a waiter or waitress poorly is not a good person. You can learn a lot about someone by taking them out to lunch.
• Planting a tree to commemorate a big event doesn’t make as much sense as it used to since society is so much more mobile now. Getting a tattoo is a good substitute in those cases.
• Everybody gets grumpy when they are tired and/or hungry. Yelling at them doesn’t help. Feeding them and helping them rest does.
• Politeness is a skill that anyone can learn and says to others that you value them as people.
• It really is okay to do more than your fair share. It teaches others to be generous and starts a trend.

http://matthewhelmke.net/2010/05/24/thoughts-on-turning-40/

http://redlipstickrunner.wordpress.com

At age 12, I was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. “Blindness,” “kidney failure,” “amputation,” and “no children” were recurring words that accompanied the diagnosis. Determined to conquer this disease and lead a fulfilling life, I went on the insulin pump at age 17. Having diabetes has strengthened my faith, confidence, and sense of humor. If one can manage and laugh about the daily challenges and surprises of living with diabetes, then one can accomplish anything!

Shortly after turning 40, I was honored by the local chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). This life-changing experience directly partnered me with JDRF and the work that is being done to cure diabetes.
via: More Magazine

I’ve been trying to get mentally ready for this year.  I started reading More magazine at the age of 39 to prepare me.  It is, after all, a publication for women 40 and over.  I always look those charts in entertainment magazines that show everyone’s age.  While it is comforting to know that Matt Damon, Tina Fey, and Kelly Ripa will all turn 40 this year too, I am keenly aware that they get paid to stay in shape and look good.  They also have the means to employ chefs, personal trainers, nannies and whatever else it takes to stay fit and beautiful.  It’s a lot harder for us regular folks.  (Ewwww.  That sounded like something an old person would say!)

So instead of seeking consolation in celebrity magazines, I instead decided to look around me.  I have a lot of friends turning 40 this year and thanks to Facebook, I am back in touch with even more of them.  Many of my friends are committed to being fit and healthy and to passing those values on to their children.  So, as we I go through this year, and help several of my friends blow out the 40 candles on their cake, I thought I would introduce you to some of the Fittest Forty-Year-Olds I Know.

Meet my friend Heather!

Heather, a Seattle native, has been my friend since moving to Boston in 1996.  Heather works part-time as a social worker and overtime as a wife and mom to two kids, ages 7 and 3.  Heather is one of the best cooks I know.  I steal all my best recipes from her!  She is committed to feeding her family the healthiest foods she can and keeping her family healthy.  Heather’s husband, Pete, is a competitive long-distance runner (he’ll turn 40 in August – I’ll blog about him then).

I caught up with Heather and asked her about fitting everything in as she turns 40.

Me:  You work, you cook, you workout, you are a Mom, you have a home.  How do you fit it all in?

Heather:  I don’t feel like I squeeze it all in!  I constantly feel like something is lagging behind – either working out or paying attention to my kids or the house is a mess.  Eventually, though, everything gets done.

Me:  You’ve always been so into cooking.  You introduced me to Cook’s Illustrated magazine!  Now that life is so crazy, how do you fit in cooking.

Heather:  The fact I enjoy cooking  helps because when I have the time to spend an hour or so making dinner (chopping up tons of veggies) it doesn’t feel like a chore to me.  The only foodie magazine I get anymore is Vegetarian Times.  I like trying new recipes a lot and I know when I try one from that magazine, chances are it will be healthy.  I guess one tip I would have for ABBG readers is to try new recipes and try vegetarian.

Me:  I think most working moms – and stay-at-home moms –  struggle with getting healthy meals on the table during busy weeknights.  What suggestions do you have?

Heather:  During the week I’ve got a couple staple recipes that are quick, healthy and the kids like (turkey tacos w/black beans and sweet potato, turkey burgers, macaroni and four cheeses (recipe below), turkey meatballs with my homemade sauce (recipe below).  I save my experienting with new recipes for the weekends when I have more time.  I try to make most things from scratch and not buy prepared food, although we did try the Cascadian Farms Shoe String fries (NuVal score of 81) and liked them.  Yes there is a turkey theme but that’s about all my son will eat!

Me:  Anything different since you turned 40 a few weeks ago?

Heather:  I have figured out that what recharges me is time with friends and lots of laughing!  I think I used to say “no” to a lot of stuff because I didn’t think I had the time.  Now, I say yes more and worry about the lack of time later.

via Fit Friends at Forty: Meet Heather! – A Better Bag of Groceries.

my forties. My dad had 2 more children in his forties. My mom finished her college degree in her forties.

I’m wondering what will happen, what will I do, who will I meet, how will I grow, what will I learn, who I will become in this new chapter of my story.

I received some very precious birthday gifts…funny cards, yummy meals with friends and family, playground equipment given to a school in need in honor of today,Target Gift Cards, phone calls, e-mails, text messages, a beautiful necklace from my parents, hugs, a tender letter from my sis and a little girl saying “Happy Birthday, Momma” all day and even as she went to bed.

I have some birthday prayers for this new decade… losing_____pounds, learning photography, taking and passing an Editor's exam, getting out of debt, selling a house, buying a house, learning how to landscape, celebrating life and growth and the Lord with Cate, becoming more of the me God has created me to be…and two more…but I’ll keep those tucked in my heart.

Holy Father, thank You. Thank You for life. Thank You for the gift that it is and the gift it will be. Father, help me reflect Your light and Your heart.

via Manna for the Journey: Turning 40…Presents and Prayers.

Image via Wikipedia

Part 1

I remember the day I really started thinking about generational awareness, a topic (hell, a term) that before then mattered very little to me. I was a couple years into college and heard about a book circulating among the underground literati on the cusp of going mainstream.

The book’s author was Douglas Coupland, a first-time novelist from Vancouver who had unwittingly ordained himself the new voice of a generation. The book was called Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture. I found it at a little bookstore near campus—the only copy left—and when I bought it the clerk told me they couldn’t keep the book on shelves for more than a few days before selling out.

more of part 1

Part 2

I called the editor of a national college magazine I was writing for at the time and said I wanted to interview the authors ofGenerations and 13^th Gen. It was 1994, three years after the watershed year when Coupland, Linklater and others kicked off what was fast becoming Gen X’s dubious legacy. I eventually managed to get an interview with author William Strauss, one of the few public supporters Gen X could boast.

Strauss said a couple of things to me in the interview that really resonated and helped ferret out  facts from a landfill of pop media garbage. The first was that Gen X was the most pragmatic of the generations. We gravitated toward what works. Spiritualism and the New Age were fine for mystified enthusiasts, but not for rabidly skeptical pragmatists. Theory was great, but application was vital. Don’t distract me with bunnies in the clouds when there are problems to solve. And the old time religion—we’ll test its medal with a ball-peen hammer and see if it’s still standing when we’re done.

more of part 2

Part 3

On the brink of turning 40, the  thing about generations that stands out to me most is how our differences slowly but inevitably evaporate. The stances that made me a generation warrior in my twenties really don’t matter much now.

As intense as the conflict was between Gen Xers and Boomers in the early 90s, you’d have thought we would never agree on anything, but much the opposite has happened. We agree on many things, as a recent PEW survey showed. And as it turns out, the Millennial generation isn’t too far removed.

A few examples:

Between Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials, who thinks being a good parent is one of the most important achievements in life? According to PEW Research, most of us do, to the tune of 50-52%.

What about having a successful marriage—how does that rank in importance between the three generations? According to the same survey, we rank it all about the same, and not particularly high: 32-35%.

How about living a very religious life? We’re all also in agreement on that one, with Gen Xers and Boomers being just slightly more religious (21%) than Millennials (15%).

Who works more hours, Boomers or Gen Xers? According to the Families and Work Institute, they work roughly the same number of hours every week at their main jobs (an average of 45) – which also happens to be the longest number of hours for any living generation.

Who’s more dissatisfied with the state of the nation?  According to PEW, we’re all plenty dissatisfied, with Boomers (70%) more annoyed than Millennials and Gen Xers (55 and 57%).

more of part 3

via True/Slant

For me, my family is the most important thing and everything else comes after that.”Jennifer, whose husband is singer Marc Anthony, chose to withdraw from the spotlight because of the children.”I do have more of a personal life now. That part of my life has changed from the past. I just didnt want to be that person any more,” she said.

via J-Lo: My priorities have changed – Celebrity News & Gossip, Independent Woman – Independent.ie.

I was in the doctor’s office today getting some tests done and the woman asked for my age. I heard the word come of out my mouth, but it seemed like someone else said it: “Forty.”

Forty.

So succinct. So poignant. Not the flourish and energy of “Twenty-Two”, nor the slightly interesting, lived a bit age of “Thirty-Six”. No, this is 40. In highway speed, 40 is safe; not the express way 65 and not the school zone 15 – somewhere in the middle is 40.

I’ve got hair that I'm leaving uncolored, now turning slightly gray – not quite blonde, not quite silver. My eyes aren’t working as well as they used to, my hands keep dropping things for some bizarre reason and my weight is even more difficult to manage than it has been all my life.

And yet, I’m not sure what 40 means really. I’m not old. Far from it – in fact, I hope I’m one of those people who never really get old… I will age, but if I can just keep moving, I’ll never really get old. I don’t even know what 40 looks like anymore, not even on me. You reach a point in your life where you can’t really see yourself clearly, with honest eyes. Its one reason people hate to see themselves in photographs. They can't bear to see what the camera (and everyone else) sees.

I'm working on seeing what Mr. Crab Claw sees. I have a collection of photos over the past 12 months or so that he has taken of me. Mostly candid, cell phone shots – rarely do I pose for him. I want to work on a new piece, in my signature collage style that I love, with another self-portrait.

Really looking at yourself is strange, difficult to do and, maybe its just plain weird. But, I’m going to work on this and probably just call it 40. I can see the piece – it will most likely be part of the marriage project Crab Claw and I have been working on. Not really sure… I just know it is (and I am) a work in progress.

via Simply Me: 40?.

On turning 40:

I feel fantastic about turning 40, I’m in a great place, got a fantastic album, my eleventh number one which beats Elvis, so I’m feeling like the king of pop.

On staying grounded:

When people get success, they often start getting rid of their immediate circle who knew them to surround themselves with yes men and women and they get lost.I have great friends around to keep me grounded, fame is a drug and your feet can get lifted off the ground but I try to stay centred and whenever I start getting big headed, they stop me.

My sisters act like I work for them, which is great but I pretty much keep myself in check.

He doesn’t let the success affect his normal life:

When you live your life in the spotlight people tend to think our success or who you are is not a real thing, I like people to know I am a real person. I just happen to have a talent for making music and a work ethic to match it.

I try to approach everyday life – no matter what happens, whether there are 100 photographers or not – as normal. I still go out to eat and eat outside at places, no problem. Sometimes I snap but for the most part I’m cool with it, as long as people don’t invade your personal space I understand it comes with the business, it’s not a big bother.

via Jay-Z Feeling ‘Fantastic’ About Turning 40 | HipHop-N-More.

People tend to ask things like “So, what’s it feel like being X?” no matter how old you are. Much to my own surprise, it really DID feel different looking into the mirror that morning and realizing that I was 40 years old! I had–like it or not–launched Me 2.0 and it felt great! Oddly and unexpectedly, I experienced a new-found optimism, almost an insouciant nonchalance of come-what-may. Things aren’t great: I’ll probably be out of work soon, I’ve spent all my savings making ends meet, and I’ve got a young family depending on me. These and other concerns have really been dragging me down for quite a while. Somehow turning 40 has empowered me stare all these things in the eye and smirk–if not totally burst out laughing! Really!

I was 18 at my mom’s 40th birthday party, and on that day I introduced her to the girlfriend who has been my wife for the last 17 years. Our oldest is only in 2nd grade, so it seems really odd to think about being the parent of a precocious college student at my age–I can finally begin to appreciate what I put my parents through! But more than that, I’ve come to realize how fast we burn through that unlikely accident which is our lives: it seems like just yesterday I was at mom’s party, and now I’m at my own…

For whatever reason, this past year I’ve become quite a student of family history and in so doing have developed a deep, personal and ineffable appreciation for that dash between the two dates of a person’s life. I’ve glimpsed the shadows of some forgotten ancestors by approximations of their dates alone, with others I’ve re-traced the paths of immigration, ship wrecks, joy, love, tragedy, war, child birth (and death), unprecedented success, and abject failure–all of which has contributed a verse to this powerful and on-going play. And without even a single one of whom I would never have been. And even as I was learning this, several of my kid’s baby teeth fell out and the adult teeth are well on their way. I too am contributing a verse…

I had put much thought into turn 40, taking it quite seriously. I had made the usual lists of things to do, etc. Oddly, I’ve trashed all that. Perhaps I had put too much thought into it. At present, the most important thing about turning 40 seems to be maintaining and fostering that precipitous sense of optimism which has befallen me. This, methinks, will become the rocket fuel propelling me through and beyond all of those other goals and aspirations I had dutifully, and perhaps mechanically, cataloged. This is my secret of 40.

Of course, Saturday night’s celebration may well be the root of all this. 40 falling on a Saturday, I had to celebrate big–over the top big. Had I not, I would have regretted it for the rest of my days. 40 has colored my 80. I threw a big party in a lodge overlooking an urban lake. I was simultaneously the caterer, the entertainment and the guest of honor! I smoked almost 70 pounds of brisket and pork (I have quite a reputation for this among my friends), and the guests brought all the fixin’s. I play in a rock and roll outfit (reliving my youth so that I can waste it this time!) and we delivered our best and most fun performance to date! Everyone was there: friends from junior high, high school, law school, former bosses and co-workers, old girlfriends, parents from kids’ soccer teams, even a long-lost favorite uncle. It was like the ending to the movie Big Fish–which, I think, is actually a funeral!

And in some ways, it was the simultaneous celebration of an ending and a beginning. The launch party for Me 2.0. The new version is out. Let the games begin!