Via Authentic Development:  It’s 9 days ago. I’m lying face down on a tattoo parlor table. The pain is beyond what I imagined. It’s not stopping. I tell myself it will be over soon. Soon is taking quite a while. Each branch of the tree has to be traced and filled in. The leaves need to be added–each leaf another needle. Eventually, I embrace the pain. I stop cringing. I lean into it. It becomes the metaphor for why I’m here–1000 miles from home, alone, getting a tattoo of a tree on my back.

I’m here because my friends loved me and believed in me and sent me to a world class leadership program. I’m alone because I must be, and I’m getting a tree on my back because the tree is the symbol of my true life.

Beauty and pain are inextricably linked. Authenticity–what my new tattoo represents–is not possible without pain.

So here I am – today – turning 40. It doesn’t feel right because I just don’t picture myself as 40. In my mind I see myself somewhere in my late 20′s or 30′s. Maybe it’s because I don’t know what 40 feels like yet.

Honestly my 30′s were a mix of good and bad. I got married and divorced in my 30′s. I bought and sold a house in my 30′s. I found out I can’t have kids in my 30′s and realized that I can never ever live without a dog in my life. I worked at 5 companies. I became an aunt – twice. I witnessed the passing of all 4 of my grandparents and several other loved ones. I experienced a lot, lived a lot and learned a lot.

These are the top things I have learned in the past 40 years:

I made it! At last, after months of worrrying and crying and trying to avoid it, I finally turned 40 a couple of weeks ago and survived the experience! It isn’t all enjoyable by a long shot, but there wasn’t anything I could do, so in the end I just had to get on with it and try and enjoy the experience as much as possible.

It’s all been very painful for months and I don’t think that I accepted that I was going to be entering my fourth decade until about 4 or 5 days before the big event. I don’t know how I managed it in the end, but thank goodness I did. Accepting it made it easier to go with it and just enjoy the celebrations. It’s still all quite new to me though and every time someone makes an “oh so funny” comment about being over the hill, it rubs on a raw patch all over again. It doesn’t happen that often and I know I need to get used to it, but at the moment I really hate it.

I’m getting plenty of opportunity to get used to my new age though. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve had to say “I’m 40″ over the last few weeks! I’ve read a few posts here and like a few people, it seems to hurt more because I’m single and have no children. I have some great friends who’ve done a great job in helping me to celebrate and I’ve definitely enjoyed the celebrations, even if I have found the life event itself an uncomfortable and challenging experience. I did manage to put my 40 cards up (although I was quite relieved to be able to take them down again!) and although turning 40 was difficult, being 40 itself seems to be okay so far!

I’ve been thinking a bit about turning 40 lately, because I just did. April 25 was my big 4-0. Since I’m a writer by trade — and writing is in my blood—it seems fitting for me to set some of my thoughts down in writing. Here we go.

Turning 40 isn’t all that different from turning 39 or 38. Ever since turning 35, I’ve been closer to 40 than 30, so I’ve more or less considered myself as much “about 40” as “in my thirties.” That’s not to say that I feel older after crossing into the forth decade. Some say that 40 is the new 30, and in some ways I think that’s true. Turning 40 is considered a milestone, a crossing over into a new chapter of life. But only if you frame it that way. After all, it’s only a number and you’re only as old as you feel. (Are clichés a sign of advanced age?)

I do notice some of the signs of age: more aches and pains than ten years ago. Less patience with rude people or annoying situations. More tolerance of those who care and try. I feel muscles and joints I never knew existed before. My father-in-law used to say that if you’re over 30 and you wake up and nothing hurts, that means you’re dead. For me, that seems to be the case at 30. (Again, 40 is the new 30.)

I turned 40 this week. Several people asked me if I was sad or bummed out about turning 40 and I told each and every one of them “no” – I don’t mind being 40 at all. Why do so many people see 40 as a point in life where you should become depressed about your age? I feel like I am finally coming into my own!

As I approached 40, I decided I would no longer bottle feelings up inside. Already I feel more free and light-hearted. Why didn’t I come to this conclusion before?!?! One of my co-workers had been telling me for years that once you hit your 40s you start to accept yourself more, spend less time worried about what others think….and she was right!

I love being 40. I love being comfortable in my skin and accepting who I am. I love that I am still alive and have a family that loves me. In three years I will pass the age that my mom died. I am grateful for each day that I have with my family and know they will always love me…no matter what color my hair turns or how many lines reveal themselves on my face down the road.

“When you turn 40, something magical happens to you–something liberating and rejuvenating and exhilarating. You acquire a healthy disregard for what other people think. You gain the confidence to define yourself boldly and on your own terms. You don’t accept anyone else’s judgments but your own. In short, you stop living your life for other people and start living it for yourself. The force is with you because, at long last, it is in you.”

I am turning 40 and have never felt so happy!!! I have been divorced twice and have two beautiful children… surely I had not have it easy. I strongly believe it depends on your attitude towards life and you have to search for happiness inside you. The best relationship you will have in your life is with yourself.

As you read this, I would have achieved another milestone in life — turning 40! (on Oct. 30)

They say 40 is the new 30… or dare I say, the new 20? Joke lang. Age is just a number… And speaking of which, on Twitter (via @tintinbabao) I did a 40-day countdown to my birthday.

In these 40 days, I tried to do something each day… something which I haven’t done in my 40 years, something new and exciting. Also, I went back to doing some of the little simple things which I missed doing for the past years.

Does life really begin at this age?

I have been pondering this point in my life since turning 30 (ie; now that I have rolled 30, next is 40, then 65, then 6 feet under). I guess this may seem morbid, but I whole heartedly prized youth. It seems like yesterday I was the youngest guy everywhere I went; the youngest guy at work, the youngest dad at church, ect… but, the days of being the “youngest” have been and gone for a few (ok, many) years now.

The latest thought as of last weekend to creep in my mind was- as the weather has started to cool down a little- “Man, I have maybe 35-40 Autumn’s left if I’m lucky”. Then there are thoughts of my past that well up. Having had kids in our early 20′s, our lives were all about them. Sometimes I feel as if I was a merely a paycheck at times. An overworked stressed out zombie and I missed out on my 20′s providing for the family, protecting them, teaching them what I thought was right and then working even more.

Is there a bright side to the madness?

Well..? I will be forty on September 15th. I am looking forward to this miracle of life. I have a beautiful daughter and a gorgeous fiance.

My life experiences are just like every one else that grew up in the 70′s and 80′s. The Breakfast Club..16 Candles..Ferris Buelers Day Off…and so on..HaHaHa.

We had it good and still have it good. I am very content with the way my life has turned out and I am embracing my 40 with arms wide open.

I am Turning forty next week…it’s starting to keep me up. In my mind I feel like i’m still 30, young and I can still get away with things. People still think I am in my late 20′s early 30′s which is flattering but it’s not reality. I think alot about my family…that I probably have another 35+ years w/them.

My wife and I had kids a little late to focus on our career. I think about my career path and not losing my job in this economy. A lot of stuff…perhaps sadness knowing that both my parents are truly old and one day soon, i will get the call. I am trying to rejoice in this journey. I’m healthy, wonderful wife, two awesome boys (2,4) and a great job. Most of all I know where i’ll be after this life…

There have been times in my life when I felt my life was fulfilling; that I was making a difference in the world. So since I’ve turned 40, I’ve been asking myself this question over and over, again: “Am I living a fulfilling life?”

I’ve learned that looking back on your past when “things were good”, is OK for a smile, but it is also dangerous when you asking yourself “Am I living a fulfilling life [now!]? I use the word dangerous because of my own experience. Looking back at the past can hinder making the move towards creating a more fulfilling life for one’s self NOW. It can be easy getting caught up in the “I’ve lived the best days; its just maintenance from here.”

For the career person: My career is a critical part of my life. I’m proud of my experience, my accomplishment and my gain of respect of my peers. If you’re obsessed with the importance of your career like I am then perhaps you’ve thought this question to ask yourself “Do I feel as accomplished in my personal life as I do with my career?” Big question; the answer tells a lot about your current emotional state.

Wow, I turned 40 on June 29 and I made it through the day without flipping out! Maybe it will hit me hard when I wake up tomorrow, but it doesn’t seem like a big deal at this moment. I remember when my own mother was 40. I was 15 myself and back then, I thought she was sooooo old… Today, I’m the one reaching that milestone and my perspective is obviously different. I was 36 when I had my first child and 38 for the second, so to my 15-year-old self, I’d look quite ancient!

Growing up (and eventually growing older) has quite a few advantages in my opinion. When I turned 20, I didn’t know anything about life and I didn’t care. The world was completely open and out there for me to discover. Over the next 10 years I figured things out and found myself, including by moving to another continent and sticking to a job I would enjoy long-term. By the time I turned 30, I felt like I finally graduated to adulthood, and it was a cool place to be. Another 10 years have gone by and at 40, I feel like I have proven myself to other people (I have a career and I can handle two kids, well, most of the time) and now I’d like to prove to myself that I can develop some other talents and interests. Which talents, I’m not sure yet, but that’s what makes life interesting every day.

And yes, my “40 and fabulous” T-shirt from Cafe Press is in the mail, and I can’t wait to wear it! To all moms out there 40 and over, carpe diem! As KebMo says it so well, “life is beautiful, life is wondrous…”

I turn 40 this Saturday, June 19th. I am not looking forward to this.

I am already dissatisfied with the way I look. Boobs have started their downward spiral, body could stand to lose about 50 lbs., teeth could use a professional whitening treatment or veneers, deep wrinkle in the forhead could use some Botox…the list seems endless. Even more so, I feel like I haven’t accomplished many of the things that I’ve wanted to do for ME.

I feel like I’m complaining, but I’m not. I have a wonderful husband, 3 beautiful daughters, a home…but I have definitely slacked off in what I want for myself. I have never been a good self-motivater or good at tooting my own horn, so I’m not sure exactly where to start. Or maybe I do know where to start but feel overwhelmed. Anyways, good luck and be strong to all the women out there…we all go through it one way or another.

Every woman has a Real Cougar inside just waiting to be released—a woman who is strong, confident, independent, sexy and proud to be over 40! Check out Don’t Ever Call me Ma’am - The Real Cougar Woman Handbook

Turning 40 for a woman is kind of like taking ownership of a souped up sports car. You have the keys, you know how to drive it, but where are you going to go? Linda Franklin shows the way. This essential guide is all about women taking ownership of the power that comes of a lifetime of experience. Linda covers topics such as relationships, work and finances and shows how to create the life you want with effective, meaningful strategies. Reading this book felt like a celebration–the author lets us know that it’s high time women of a certain age have fun and not be afraid or ashamed to do so. Thank you Linda!

A Real Cougar is a woman who:

I have been doing some thinking about life, the universe and everything (so I know the big birthday is actually in two years…) and I decided I would share a few things I have learned on the journey thus far. Some you may recognize. I didn’t come up with any of these in a vacuum.

• Mercy is a better than judgment.
• No one is poor who has friends.
• It is better to leave the job and respect yourself than to endure for the sake of economics.

• Being able to look at yourself in the mirror is more important than what other people think.
• Making people angry for fun isn’t cool.
• Degrees and certificates mean very little. The truly educated continue to learn throughout life and don’t consider their education complete when they earn a piece of paper.