I was an unwed mother of twin boys at 20 and spent the next 20 years focused on raising them. I married an alcoholic, worked in low paying dead end jobs, but I had tunnel vision, getting my boys to college. They were going to have all the opportunities I never had. They are in college now and at 40 so am I.

Some days I feel like I can take on the world yet other days, when the self doubt creeps in, I think who do I think I am. When Im sitting in class with 20 somethings and no one wants to converse with the”non-traditional student” I feel so insecure and out of place. Yet, learning is so incedibly exciting and my sons are very proud of me. Its a strange and exciting journey. I refuse to let self doubt and others opinions, regarding all the doors that will be closed to me because of my age, keep me from pursuing my dreams!!!
-We are not now that strength which in old days moved heaven and earth; that which we are we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. – Alfred Lord Tennyson

Very recently, I turned 40 years old. I prefer to think of myself as a “fledgling 40″ spreading my ever so lightly dusted grey wings, maybe not soaring as high as the other chickadees but still holding my own. Gradually I am owning up to my status as a middle-aged woman. I am learning to graciously accept the “yes, mam” that have replaced the “dear” and “miss.” These days, I religiously slather on sun-screen even in the dead of winter, strap myself into a major support bra and color my hair, ever six weeks. There are some days I feel more like 80 years old with my Fibromyalgia, but I can still joke like a child, laugh at knock-knock jokes and look not too shabby with some cover-up and mascara.

Yet, the weeks, days, hours and seconds leading up to that epic birthday were not pleasant. I admit there were repeated bouts of hysteria, rants about intrusive gray hairs and more than a few tears. But I survived. It was all storm before the calm. The morning after the big day I fell into an emotionally serene cocoon – wow, I thought “I’m 40!” I was officially a “Cougar” with a license to leer at younger men! Woo Hoo. Well, maybe I would pass on the leering.

But I did feel different. I still felt a little like that naive, introverted 20 year old I will always harbor inside, but she was more like an echo. I was owning up to my life experience and felt wiser. I also felt relieved. All those years of making blind choices, learning and growing from my mistakes, going down winding paths, then finally arriving here with a sense of relief and understanding. It is not that I will never get lost again, but I am now better equipped for the journey. I have also realized that I have no regrets – every decision and action has brought me here to my family and I am blessed.

Sesame Street turned 40 yesterday, the Internet turned 40 last month, Diddy and Matthew McConaughey blew out 40 candles last week…guys, I think we’re on to something here. Turning 40 is as cool as it gets.

No regrets and the best is yet to be!! woo hoo!
I’m turning 40 tomorrow. I was married once and recently ended a 7 year relationship that did not result in marriage. I’m finishing my PhD in December of this year, I’ve traveled all over the world and so far I’ve done things that most people havn’t. I’ve loved wonderful people, I have wonderful friends and I’ve lived life on my terms. I’m looking forward to marriage and children, alot of laughter, happiness and tons of adventure to come.

At this age, I have confidence, I’ve grown into knowing who I am and I choose to call the shots on whatever adventure or whim comes my way. This is a great age, not over the hill, we still have our minds and bodies, and we can still accomplish whatever we choose to accomplish.

Carpe diem fellow soul mates. Live, love and laugh always, me

Telegraph UK: 28/05/2008

As Kylie Minogue hits the landmark birthday, Jasper Gerard offers some sage advice. ’Kylie!” exclaimed a tabloid newspaper in wonder yesterday. “STILL fabulous at 40.” Well, what did they expect, as the much-loved, heroic chanteuse hits that milestone birthday today? Blue rinse, dentures and a wicker shopping basket? And just look at the others who have turned, or will turn, 40 in 2008: Daniel Craig, Lisa Marie Presley, Céline Dion, Patricia Arquette, Will Smith and Lucy Liu, a Charlie’s Angel celebrated for tight leather hot pants that she’s unlikely to be packing away any time soon.

In fact, none of the aforementioned is an obvious candidate for middle age as we once knew it. Not so long ago, 40-year-olds were thought to be in the grave, or making impressive strides towards it.

I am 40 and not afraid to admit it.

It must come as a huge shock that I am the big 4-0. I know, I know, I look 30 or at a stretch 35. Must be the extra-virgin olive oil diet I’ve been on since birth. And hardly a wrinkle on my soft, supple skin – it’s amazing. Pamela Airbags Anderson says 40 is the new 20 so I’d better remember to take along my ID the next time I go clubbing.

I have a friend, let’s call her Veronica, who has erased two years from her life. She’s 36 but tells people she’s 34, presumbly to make herself more appealing to men and employers. She even lied to a boyfriend about her age but her cover was blown when he stumbled across her passport and saw her date of birth. Damn that passport! Surprise, surprise: he didn’t dump her because she was 36.

Unfortunately we live in an age-obsessed society where there is a halo around 15-year-old malnourished models but lying about one’s age does not magically make the body younger. There’s no turning back the body clock. Reproductive organs do not adjust to the pretend age like computers automatically adjust to daylight savings time. If only.

Barbra McDonnell
FOR THE GAZETTE

Apparently, 40 is the new 30. This makes me worry even more about turning 40, and not just for the inevitable lame jokes. If 40 now defines adulthood, I have only a short time left in which to be a kid.

Does that mean I’ll finally have to start sipping fair-trade coffee in the den, instead of Corona on the back porch? Will I have to give up my black punk-y wardrobe, for an art teacher ensemble of sensible sandals and peasant skirts?

Thirty wasn’t a good year for me, anyhow. Forty is bound to be better. At 30, I had a slummy apartment and a crappy job. Mr. Wonderful (now known as My Husband) was dragging his feet on proposing. It seemed that everyone else I knew had a real job, a spouse, two or three kids, the works. I kept praying, to God or the universe, or whomever was listening, “Puh-leeze, can I just have ‘a’ car, ‘a’ house, and be married to ‘a’ reasonably nice guy, before I get any older?”

I’m turning forty next year – yes, the big 4-0. Some people are terrified of that designation of “middle-age”, but I’m looking forward to it. Yes, I’m strange that way.

Turning twenty was wonderful; I was no longer a teenager. Thirty seemed as if the beginning of life had come, and perhaps I’d finally gain the respect of my older peers (yeah right, like that’s ever going to happen). So what is the matter with turning forty? For me, absolutely nothing. I celebrate it. It means I’ve survived another milestone.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t think I’d make it to my next birthday. When the physical body wears thin it really makes your world and focus shrink down to what is truly important. During that time, life for me was about reaching that next milestone to ensure I’d be here for my son. He became my driving life-force to do everything possible to live another day, week, month, and year.

Life has such meaning and purpose to me each and every day. I no longer struggle just to survive; now I thrive. It is a precious gift to be given a second chance.

Well, I’ll be turning 40 in a few months, and I cannot wait!  I’ve had several people ask me if I am freaking out about turning the big 4-0, and I’ve given them a resounding, “Hell no!”  My life is going swimmingly and promises to just get better in the near future.  Besides that, I have a kickass party planned, so how could I be bummed?

Ever since adopting and actually following my “letting go” attitude, everything has been so peaceful and easy for me.  Roxy (my vintage ’63 convertible Mercury Comet) is getting fixed up, my book and stand up comedy show are flowing, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying being back at school after a year and a half leave.

I’ve had the pleasure of getting to sub in several grade levels (3 last week alone), and I have been reminded of why I went into teaching in the first place.  I simply love working with kids.   I love captivating them by using an accent when I read a story and having them believe I actually am that character.  I love having them suddenly get what I’m teaching because out of nowhere I try a different approach that happens to make sense to them.  And I love having random parents come up to me on campus and ask, “Are you Mrs. Aubert?  You were in my son’s second grade class last week, and he loved you!”

 by Terri

My big four-oh has come and gone. And to tell you the truth, I was so busy and had such a great party, I haven’t really given the milestone itself much thought. This ‘coming of age’ certainly hasn’t depressed me. In fact I think I found turning 30 much more difficult.

At 30 there was a long mental list of things yet to be achieved. Get married, have a child, improve career, get fit, get finances in order. Now I’m not sure whether I’ve achieved all these things or whether it’s simply that I care less about achieving them.
I have certainly gotten married and had a child. Two big ticks there. Whether or not I’ve improved the career is questionable. It’s waxed and waned courtesy of the second tick. Career is certainly less important to me than it was a decade ago.

I did get fit. In fact following my 30th birthday I launched into a swimming career with gusto that culminated in me competing internationally at age 34. But like the career, the fitness levels have also waxed and waned courtesy again of that second tick.
I haven’t really got my finances in order but I certainly seem to have more financial freedom. During my twenties my pay was spent before I earned it. Now I think at least my debts are under control and I can afford to eat dinner!

From The Daily Pilot

Women older than 40 today are mothers, daughters, executives, friends, business owners, wives and lovers.

Statistics show they’re also beautiful, healthy, active, empowered and happy with who they are, maybe for the first time in their lives.

Lillian Williams, one of 10 finalists in the MORE/Wilhemina 40+ Model Search contest, said attitude is everything, and she wasn’t there at age 20.

It took turning 40 to give her the confidence she needed to accept who she was, embrace her life choices — mistakes included — and feel good enough about herself to believe she could enter a modeling competition.

Oh yes. I remember my 40th birthday. I was down with a 39degrees fever unlike described by Frank Sinatra’s “you give me fever, what a lovely way to burn.”. Instead, it was an old lady who gave me that darn fever and trust me, fever caused by bloody virus is definitely not a lovely way to burn. My favorite teacher use to tell me to think of something positive, when you are down. The only positive think I could think of at that time, was that I was running the right body temperature for giving an excellent fellatio. What? It’s impossible to think about hiking the Everest when you’re already more nauseas than imagining what the altitude could do to the last content of your food intake.

On a hindsight, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You know what they say about a little near death experience is good to get one’s life into perspective. ( Hey, I am an Aries, and an Arien is an eternal attention seeking child. It’s not my fault I’m a Drama Queen). Well, in my time of despair, there and then I made an important decision in my life. I’ve decided that it was awful to plunge myself in an abyss of self pity and misery and I will not allow myself a second visit there. I’ve decided that, turning 40 will be a dawn of a new chapter in my life. I’ve decided to take charge in writing the plot in this chapter and the theme is being happy while continuing my pursue towards achieving harmonious wealth.

Oh yes, I am an Oprah sucker and in case you’ve missed the episode where the some experts defined “harmonious health”, I’ll just fill you in. Harmonious wealth comprises of 5 elements which are, intelligence, spiritual, relationships, health and material wealth. Sitting alone in bed running a temperature that could cook an egg had it landed on my naval (which is a tricky thing considering the extra fat deposited through the years had made it convex rather than concave…) , obviously I need to work more on the health part.

Happy Birthday!

Forty is fabulous! After years of putting others first, I have finally grasped the concept that my life belongs to me. As a young woman, I lived for the approval of others. If I was just pretty enough or did enough for others, I thought, the whole world would like and accept me. Now I know that I no longer need to impress the whole world; I just need to impress me. I still love being beautiful, but it no longer defines who I am. Instead, I have embraced my imperfections and found my talents. I have converted my dreams into goals, and have begun to achieve them one by one. And I now enjoy a new level of comfort with who I am and what I can achieve in life.

As a wife, mother, businesswoman, friend, daughter, sister and granddaughter, the demands on my time never end. However, I no longer strive to be Superwoman because I have learned that when I take time for myself, I don’t take from others. Instead, I add to their wellbeing as well as my own. I now know that when I love myself more, others will respond in kind. And that has given me the freedom, confidence and courage to become more than I ever dreamed possible. Armed with this newfound awareness, I have embraced my courage, ambitions and independence with a confident smile, sassy red lipstick, and a proud new slogan — the best is yet to come!

Fabulously40.com is an on line sorority for women in their prime. Join us as we embark on our journey to the best part of our lives!

I can hardly believe it, I will be 40 in about two weeks. I realize many people are not thrilled with such an occasion, but, I am looking forward to it.

Life as we all know is full of bumps and scrapes, ups and more often downs,and can often leave one with a bad taste in their mouth. It is quite the struggle for some of us to get up the stupid hill at all much less reach the point where we are over it. I have earned it !!!

What it means to me to be “over the hill.” The Hill to me is the metaphor pertaining to the struggle to understand our lives and our place in the world. It took me a long time to get the big picture worked out to the point where I understood myself and the world well enough so that I could grow into the person I am now. I can now live with who I am, because I finally realize that I am a descent person. I can live with the hurt and suffering of my early life because I now understand that those who caused my pain were only acting within the boundaries of their own understanding. Life is getting easier because with age comes wisdom, and because now I no longer have to drag all my baggage up the Hill.

HIP_HIP_HOORAY FOR GETTING OVER THE HILL !!!