Archive for the ‘Getting Better with Time’ Category
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 |
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Are You Turning 40 and Looking for a Profound Life Change?
Have a great day!
Telegraph UK: 28/05/2008
As Kylie Minogue hits the landmark birthday, Jasper Gerard offers some sage advice. ’Kylie!” exclaimed a tabloid newspaper in wonder yesterday. “STILL fabulous at 40.” Well, what did they expect, as the much-loved, heroic chanteuse hits that milestone birthday today? Blue rinse, dentures and a wicker shopping basket? And just look at the others who have turned, or will turn, 40 in 2008: Daniel Craig, Lisa Marie Presley, Céline Dion, Patricia Arquette, Will Smith and Lucy Liu, a Charlie’s Angel celebrated for tight leather hot pants that she’s unlikely to be packing away any time soon.
In fact, none of the aforementioned is an obvious candidate for middle age as we once knew it. Not so long ago, 40-year-olds were thought to be in the grave, or making impressive strides towards it.
An unmarried woman like Kylie Minogue would not have been viewed as a glamourpuss “just spinning around” but as a spinster more likely to be Zimmering around in a rather sad fashion.
Not any more. Now there are entire industries devoted to reversing Newton’s law of gravity and the pursuit of eternal youth: thanks to diet, dentistry and exercise - and, for those less blessed than Kylie, cosmetic surgery - we can now look as peachy at 40 and beyond as we did at 30.
We’re not short of role models, either, in the baby boomers (Bill Clinton, Lulu, Sir Richard Branson, Grace Jones, Harrison Ford) who are trailblazing their way to their bus passes while continuing to flaunt youthful looks, fit bodies and fulfilling sex lives.
However, while it all helps, it doesn’t entirely ease the pain of reaching your 40th birthday - and I speak from recent experience. It remains the entry point to a club that none of us really wants to join: middle age.
It was a cruel moment when I awoke and found that a thief had come in the night for the last remnant of my youth, leaving a chilling calling card: “Happy 40th!” I tried to ignore the “loved ones” who were insisting on a party.
Instead, I was hit, very powerfully, by the thought that now is the time: that while I wasn’t yet approaching the finishing line, I was certainly no longer limbering up and waiting for the starting pistol.
Despite the relentless pressures of youth culture and our reluctance to embrace maturity, I would argue that turning 40 does demand a subtle change in demeanour. My generation has explored youth to its limit and is still tempted to do a Dorian Gray, in the manner of Madonna (50 this year) or Sir Mick Jagger (65 in July).
But trying so very hard to appear youthful merely highlights how mouldy one is underneath: Madge’s hands are bonier than those of Ena Sharples, while Jagger’s hipster jeans are bordering on the obscene.
It doesn’t have to be like this. No one looks at a suave Bryan Ferry (62) or David Bowie (61) and thinks: “My God, you look decrepit.” Still less Annie Lennox (53) or Chrissie Hynde (57).
They don’t construct absurd stage sets, do the splits, or simulate some after-the-watershed activity with a backing singer. They have adapted to age with dignity and grace, without compromising their talent or their capacity for enjoying themselves.
So no matter how good she looks - and it’s a million times better than she did with a frizzy perm and dungarees on Neighbours - I’d urge Kylie to follow suit.
Although her successful fight against breast cancer has made her a national treasure here and in her native Australia, there are worrying signs that she may try to fight the inevitable. Off-stage, she is a sublime vision of sexy elegance in Chanel; but on it, in her current KYLIEX2008 tour, there is still a hint of the showgirl that, if it continues, might begin to pall.
While her derrière continues to delight, as the sun goes down on her youth might not her hemlines also head a little lower? We adore Dame Judi Dench, too, but we don’t want to be seduced by her.
And while Madame Tussaud’s boasts a Kylie waxwork, heaven forbid that the waxwork ever gets to be more mobile than her. My wife gave me a personal trainer for my 40th, but after injuring my back weeding, I’ve spent more time with my osteopath.
Just as Lucy Liu should go easy on the karate kicks and Daniel Craig might do well to wear his trunks a little baggier in forthcoming Bond films, so Kylie might slow the disco beats. Explore the ballad, look lovelorn - it’s a good excuse for soft lighting.
Forty is too late for excuses; nothing can make up for time and opportunities lost. We must acknowledge that the illusion of eternal youth that sustained us through our thirties was, well, an illusion. But we can also embrace the gains of being 40.
There are some, honest. Confidence, for example: who among us would welcome back teenage insecurities? Or even a teenage complexion? And who’s to say that the years of our greatest hits don’t lie ahead?
Posted in Celebs, Getting Better with Time | No Comments »
Thursday, May 22nd, 2008 |
I am 40 and not afraid to admit it.
It must come as a huge shock that I am the big 4-0. I know, I know, I look 30 or at a stretch 35. Must be the extra-virgin olive oil diet I’ve been on since birth. And hardly a wrinkle on my soft, supple skin - it’s amazing. Pamela Airbags Anderson says 40 is the new 20 so I’d better remember to take along my ID the next time I go clubbing.
I have a friend, let’s call her Veronica, who has erased two years from her life. She’s 36 but tells people she’s 34, presumbly to make herself more appealing to men and employers. She even lied to a boyfriend about her age but her cover was blown when he stumbled across her passport and saw her date of birth. Damn that passport! Surprise, surprise: he didn’t dump her because she was 36.
Unfortunately we live in an age-obsessed society where there is a halo around 15-year-old malnourished models but lying about one’s age does not magically make the body younger. There’s no turning back the body clock. Reproductive organs do not adjust to the pretend age like computers automatically adjust to daylight savings time. If only.
It’s unfair that women feel pressured to make time stand still. As men become greyer, they’re seen as debonair counts in smoking jackets, whereas women are discarded as haggard witches. Unless you’re Helen Mirren, who looks mighty hot for 62. She’ll still look hot when she turns 63 in July.
As for the theory that women on TV get boned if they pass an expiry date, there are an abundance of vibrant, mature faces on the box to disprove this: Jo Hall, Jennifer Keyte, Tracy Grimshaw, Kim Watkins, Kerri-Anne Kennerley, Liz Hayes, Lisa Wilkinson, Caroline Jones, Kathy Bowlen, Ellen Fanning, Geraldine Doogue, Sonia Kruger, Ann Sanders, Sandra Sultry, the list goes on. Gretel Killeen used to be on TV before she was evicted from the house.
The queen of the age-deniers is Kerri-Anne, the taut-faced Channel Nine morning-show host who’s in her “mid-50s”, or according to one article I read, in her “mid-40s”. All those early starts must make the memory fuzzy. The Age Diary played pin-point the age on the Kennerley and found she was delivered by the stork in 1953, so she’ll be blowing out 55 candles this year. Will her lungs cope? Now, what’s so bad about admitting she’s 55? She’s a stayer in TV world, she scrubs up well with the help of the “work” she’s had done, and she’s at the helm of a show that brings in millions from advertising fat-busting devices. She should stand proud.
One thing I’ve noticed as my years advance is that Hollywood celebs who were much older than me when I was a youngster seem to be a similar age to me now. I’ve got older but they haven’t. Curious. Maybe they just seemed older when I gazed at them on the telly or maybe they’ve wiped off a few years so they’re more attractive to casting directors. And to prolong their shelf life in the industry. Especially for the famous, it’s futile erasing the years because there’s always the chance a school buddy will emerge and helpfully point out their real age.
I know women who despair at turning 40 because of all the self-reflection that comes with it: married vs defacto vs single, with child vs without child, intentionally barren vs unintentionally barren. Take Pamela Anderson’s approach: you’re as young as you feel, or as young as the men who feel you.
I’d much prefer to state my real age and for people to tell me I look younger (go on, I know that you want to) than to say I’m 35 and hear that I look 40. Now, that would be a waste of a fib.
—
Suzanne Carbone goes where other reporters fear to tread: the red carpet. She has perfected the art of juggling her notepad with a glass of bubbly and a canape, all the while keeping her finger on the pulse of this pulsating town. Celebs - she has met a few. David Cassidy, from the Partridge Family, once stopped a news conference at the Como Hotel to rave about her dress. She even bumped into Barry Humphries in the women’s powder room at Flemington on Derby Day. Alas, not everyone is on the A-list and not all the bubbly is French. Yes, it’s a tough job but she’s just the someone to do it. Check out her blog at http://blogs.theage.com.au/limelight/
Posted in Getting Better with Time, Gratitude | No Comments »
Friday, May 2nd, 2008 |
Barbra McDonnell
FOR THE GAZETTE
Apparently, 40 is the new 30. This makes me worry even more about turning 40, and not just for the inevitable lame jokes. If 40 now defines adulthood, I have only a short time left in which to be a kid.
Does that mean I’ll finally have to start sipping fair-trade coffee in the den, instead of Corona on the back porch? Will I have to give up my black punk-y wardrobe, for an art teacher ensemble of sensible sandals and peasant skirts?
Thirty wasn’t a good year for me, anyhow. Forty is bound to be better. At 30, I had a slummy apartment and a crappy job. Mr. Wonderful (now known as My Husband) was dragging his feet on proposing. It seemed that everyone else I knew had a real job, a spouse, two or three kids, the works. I kept praying, to God or the universe, or whomever was listening, “Puh-leeze, can I just have ‘a’ car, ‘a’ house, and be married to ‘a’ reasonably nice guy, before I get any older?”
Well, it worked. Sort of. I often joke that I should’ve been more specific. “This Old House” is far from being done, the car has over 450,000 km on it, and the husband…nah, just kidding, he is wonderful.
Since I spent my 20s dashing about from one low-paying job to another (or to two jobs, or even three, at a time), I didn’t have the resources for what people think you “should” be doing in your 20s. I’ve never been to Florida on Spring Break, or spent a summer planting trees. I’ve never hitchhiked to Vancouver, or followed the Grateful Dead around for a few months, either.
However, I had so many addresses that my friends still tease me with, “Suuure, you’ve moved for the laaast time. Let me just write your phone number down in pencil.” I also enjoyed a lot of rainy camping trips (the poor man’s vacation), met Neil Young, and was at the hospital the day my nephew was born. (The nurses almost didn’t let me on to the floor. I was covered in cat hair, from moving yet again. My aggressive kitty refused to be caged, and had spent two hours in a moving van, climbing up and down me like a jungle gym, but I was there!)
Times have changed. It used to be, back in the Dark Ages (or, “The ’80s”), that everyone left home at 18 or 19. Sure, you might come home during the summers, if you were away at college, but basically, you were out of the nest, doing your own thing. Now it seems to be OK to live at home until your late 20s, and be saving up to buy a house.
How on earth do all these (harrumph!) young whippersnappers justify this dependant behaviour?
How does one say to worn-out looking Mom and Dad, “Listen, I know I said I’d be out of here this year, but I’d really like to ummm, er, go to Cancun this winter, and, ummm, buy a new Saturn first, so…?”
If you “can’t” afford your own apartment, what kind of justification can you possibly invent for tropical vacations, or for driving a slicker ride than your parents do?
I’m sure if Andy and I approached my parents and said, “We’re tired of supporting ourselves. We’d love to move in with you guys, and spend a year making hemp bracelets to sell at concerts” my mom would have the proverbial canary.
I’m sure she’s pretty sick of all those avian births.
From me crashing my car end over end, to my brother Rory buying a motorcycle a few years ago, she’s probably exhausted. The last time she had to suffer through one was when my brother Matt fell off his skateboard, and broke his arm. When he was 31 years old. Yeah.
I have no idea how I’ll feel in a few months, when I hit 40 and am finally a real, true grown up. I doubt that I’ll give up Saturday morning cartoons, or wearing my Chucks. I certainly will not be driving a mini van, or giving serious thought to gracious forms of “retirement lifestyle living.” I just hope my laugh lines are deeper for a reason. And to paraphrase Jerry Garcia, that the inevitable “touch of grey” kind of suits me, anyway.
Barbra McDonnell is a freelance writer, and works at an agency for people living with disabilities. She and her husband reside in Kitchener. She grew up in Perth County, and graduated from Stratford Central Secondary. The month of June will see her using a fire extinguisher on an overly lit cake.
Posted in Getting Better with Time, Getting Closer | No Comments »
Sunday, April 6th, 2008 |
Tomorrow is my 39th birthday and the start of my 40th year. I had a really fun Friday kicking off my birthday weekend…It started with breakfast with my
coffee group friends, followed by lunch with a friend in the city. I came home from lunch to find an overnight air box on my doorstep, full of beautiful cut flowers–my favorites, irises and tulips–and lovely note, sent from my man ♥. My parents sent me some funny birthday cards in the mail, too.
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When you turn 39, of course the inevitable comment you receive is, “You’re almost 40!” I’m not bothered by that fact at all; I am actually looking forward to turning 40 next year. I spent a few years in my mid-30s really figuring out how I want my life to be…taking stock of my strengths as well as acknowledging and accepting my limitations. As a result, I feel like I’m a stronger, better person now than I was 10 or even 5 years ago. I credit Zen mindfulness and meditation for a lot of this growth. Of course, there are still many things I want to see and do in life, and I hope that I will always continue to be open to growth and experience in various forms and philosophies.
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Last night I was talking with my dad on the phone and the conversation turned a little deep. At one point he said, “Do you ever have times in your life when out of the blue, you realize you are *this* close to really understanding the purpose and meaning of life and the universe…As if you get a glimpse and understanding of it all?”
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I completely understood what he was describing. I think I’ve always understood what’s really important in life, largely thanks to the way I was raised. But it has only been as I’ve approached 40 that I’ve started to really FEEL the deeper purpose of life, the earth, the universe.
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I don’t know if someone can teach you that or whether you just have to figure it out on your own. Some of it comes from the strength of life experience and some from just mellowing with age. No one has all the answers, and I’m skeptical of anyone who claims they do. Enlightenment is an evolution that takes a lifetime and perhaps more. But I do know that you have to be open to the idea of receiving the lessons in order to have those moments of clarity that Dad described.
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As babies, we come into this world alone, with our receivers wide open. Our life experience and increasing responsibilities and limitations jam our receivers over time. I guess you could call it a sort of electronic warfare on the soul. Some people never clear the signal and carry on with resulting distortion. As I use the tools of Zen mindfulness and meditation to increase my awareness, the gift is higher fidelity. Like my father, from time to time, my reception is crystal clear and I get a glimpse of the full bandwidth of the universe.
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As I embark on my 40th year, I plan to spend the rest of my life fine tuning my reception. And on this birthday, I am most thankful for the gifts of loving family and friends and my nascent Zen wisdom.
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Amber is a communications consultant/small business owner, US Air Force Reserve officer and suburban zoo keeper (read: wife and mother) based in Arizona. She can usually be found with her trusty sidekick, a Golden Retriever named Zoë. Her blog, Blue Mango, journals her creative inspirations and personal expressions.
Posted in Getting Better with Time, Getting Closer | No Comments »
Sunday, April 6th, 2008 |
I’m turning forty next year - yes, the big 4-0. Some people are terrified of that designation of “middle-age”, but I’m looking forward to it. Yes, I’m strange that way.
Turning twenty was wonderful; I was no longer a teenager. Thirty seemed as if the beginning of life had come, and perhaps I’d finally gain the respect of my older peers (yeah right, like that’s ever going to happen). So what is the matter with turning forty? For me, absolutely nothing. I celebrate it. It means I’ve survived another milestone.
There was a time in my life when I didn’t think I’d make it to my next birthday. When the physical body wears thin it really makes your world and focus shrink down to what is truly important. During that time, life for me was about reaching that next milestone to ensure I’d be here for my son. He became my driving life-force to do everything possible to live another day, week, month, and year.
Life has such meaning and purpose to me each and every day. I no longer struggle just to survive; now I thrive. It is a precious gift to be given a second chance.
It also means I’m moving forward. So forty, come on down!
From The Chatter’s Block
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Wednesday, March 5th, 2008 |
Well, I’ll be turning 40 in a few months, and I cannot wait! I’ve had several people ask me if I am freaking out about turning the big 4-0, and I’ve given them a resounding, “Hell no!” My life is going swimmingly and promises to just get better in the near future. Besides that, I have a kickass party planned, so how could I be bummed?
Ever since adopting and actually following my “letting go” attitude, everything has been so peaceful and easy for me. Roxy (my vintage ‘63 convertible Mercury Comet) is getting fixed up, my book and stand up comedy show are flowing, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying being back at school after a year and a half leave.
I’ve had the pleasure of getting to sub in several grade levels (3 last week alone), and I have been reminded of why I went into teaching in the first place. I simply love working with kids. I love captivating them by using an accent when I read a story and having them believe I actually am that character. I love having them suddenly get what I’m teaching because out of nowhere I try a different approach that happens to make sense to them. And I love having random parents come up to me on campus and ask, “Are you Mrs. Aubert? You were in my son’s second grade class last week, and he loved you!”
On Wednesday, I overheard a first grader telling her friend as I walked to the staffroom at recess, “Ooh! Lucky! You have the best substitute today!”
I just smiled and thought, “Oh my God. This is why I went into teaching.”
Trust me. I’m completely surprised by this revelation. And don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely still following my writing and performance dreams with a vengeance. But I am finding it quite easy to marry that passion with my passion for working with kids.
When I started my charity to keep the arts alive in schools, I had no idea that would mean me fighting to create a position in middle school drama to utilize my own charity. I figured I would be running the charity and doling out money to schools that needed it. But I now know that I want to be one of the drama departments asking for contributions!
I’m always looking for signs that validate where I am on my life’s journey. Yesterday one showed up that couldn’t have been more obvious if it were flashing neon and had an arrow pointing right to me.
I was thinking about next year and what I’d be doing. I had seen the superintendent of our schools at a little concert the kids gave on Thursday night and asked him if he’d received my intent to return letter. He had, but said he couldn’t tell me anything about a specific position until later on. No worries. I just wanted to make sure the letter had been received. But it got me thinking about my credential and wondering when I needed to renew it.
Um…it expires in October of this year.
I thought to myself, “Oh boy. This may be a stumbling block,” because you have to have 150 hours to renew your credential. Now, before I took my leave I made sure I had more than enough hours to renew, but it’s still a bit of a pain to get it all documented and signed off. I figured if somehow it were really difficult to renew, maybe the Universe would be telling me something.
Anyhow, I called a girlfriend of mine just to chat and mentioned that I needed to renew my credential. She said she had to renew hers this year, too.
But she went on to say that the state has updated the way you go about that, and it was all done online now. I was thrilled!
When we hung up, I immediately got on line, punched in my social security number and birthday, and voila! There I was. Within moments I had verified all my info, paid the fee, and had a confirmation number in my hot little hands.
Professional clear credential officially renewed.
Definitely a sign that I am on the right path.
Another sign? Right after that I opened my book Word document and cranked out several pages of writing. It just flowed right out of my brain and into the keyboard. It was easy.
I think that’s the key. When things come easily, they are definitely meant to be. If it’s a struggle and you’ve done everything you can to make it happen, you need to let go so it can unfold organically instead of being forced. It’s taken me a long time to figure that out. But when I just let go, it always works out in the way that it should, whether I understand it or not.
Back to the birthday. I had been trying to book this particular venue for months now, and the woman just wouldn’t get back to me. Finally I called the lead singer of the band I hired and asked if he had any suggestions. He gave me the name of a place nearby, and the hubby, the kids and I checked it out. I called the number, spoke with the girl in charge, and had the place booked within minutes.
Easy.
So, am I worried about turning 40 in a few months? Not a chance.
Anytime I can celebrate a milestone with an 80s themed party complete with “Pretty in Pink” Cosmos and “Long Duk Dong” Lemondrops…I know I’m on the right path!
Written by Mel Aubert - find out more about Mel at www.melaubert.com
Posted in Celebrating, Getting Better with Time | No Comments »
Friday, February 15th, 2008 |
by Terri
My big four-oh has come and gone. And to tell you the truth, I was so busy and had such a great party, I haven’t really given the milestone itself much thought. This ‘coming of age’ certainly hasn’t depressed me. In fact I think I found turning 30 much more difficult.
At 30 there was a long mental list of things yet to be achieved. Get married, have a child, improve career, get fit, get finances in order. Now I’m not sure whether I’ve achieved all these things or whether it’s simply that I care less about achieving them.
I have certainly gotten married and had a child. Two big ticks there. Whether or not I’ve improved the career is questionable. It’s waxed and waned courtesy of the second tick. Career is certainly less important to me than it was a decade ago.
I did get fit. In fact following my 30th birthday I launched into a swimming career with gusto that culminated in me competing internationally at age 34. But like the career, the fitness levels have also waxed and waned courtesy again of that second tick.
I haven’t really got my finances in order but I certainly seem to have more financial freedom. During my twenties my pay was spent before I earned it. Now I think at least my debts are under control and I can afford to eat dinner!
So a few things have changed, but mostly they haven’t. Many of my similarly aged friends have remarked to me that while physically they feel a little different (!!), mentally they are just the same as they have always been. To think that when I looked once looked at 40 year olds and saw an old person, I was just looking at a 20 year old with drooping arms!
I used to think that turning 30 was the end of childhood but now that I am 40 I know that childhood never ends. We just get taller and flabbier and are forced to act more responsibly sometimes. But underneath it all we’re just as silly as we always were. (And if you don’t believe that you should have been at my party at 4.30am the morning after.)
One of the many lovely friends who came to wish me happy birthday (and one in the post-40 category), wrote, “It just gets better!” on my card. And I must say I believe her.
Ironically there is a confidence that only getting older gives you. Along with the back and neck aches, the veins on the legs, the grey hairs and the loss of a waist, there’s definitely more of a “take me as I am” feeling. Which is just as well, because there is only so much you can do about the effects of ageing.
The most comforting thing is that you are not alone. I have friends I’ve known since we were four and guess what … they’re now 40 too! And they really are pretty much the same. So I would say to anyone worrying about turning 40, get over it. It only gets better!
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Thursday, February 14th, 2008 |
From The Daily Pilot
Women older than 40 today are mothers, daughters, executives, friends, business owners, wives and lovers.
Statistics show they’re also beautiful, healthy, active, empowered and happy with who they are, maybe for the first time in their lives.
Lillian Williams, one of 10 finalists in the MORE/Wilhemina 40+ Model Search contest, said attitude is everything, and she wasn’t there at age 20.
It took turning 40 to give her the confidence she needed to accept who she was, embrace her life choices — mistakes included — and feel good enough about herself to believe she could enter a modeling competition.
“At 20, you’re immature and you don’t know what life is about. Now, I’m not going to be influenced by what other people think,” Williams said.
The Costa Mesa resident is one of three California women in the annual nationwide model search sponsored by MORE Magazine and Wilhemina Models that began late last year.
Williams is a dental assistant in Newport Beach and a regular reader of MORE magazine, a publication geared toward women older than 40.
Lois Johnson, beauty and fashion director of MORE Magazine, said each of the more than 15,000 readers who entered the contest are winners.
“This is a community of intelligent, highly evolved women who are taking charge of their lives and enjoying being 40 and over,” Johnson said.
“Right now, most readers say that while they would enter a model search, they might not have ever considered that in their 20s.”
Women today have a different attitude, Johnson said, coupled with the fact that women are learning to take exceptional care of themselves by working out, not baking in the sun anymore, whitening their teeth and paying special attention to skin care.
After seeing the ad in the magazine for the model search, Williams and her sister joined more than 400 women at the open audition in September at the Talbots store in South Coast Plaza.
Williams filled out an application, had her hair and makeup touched up by experts, and posed for a professional photo that she submitted with her application.
Everyone there that day helped her feel comfortable and at ease, Williams said, enabling her to step out of her comfort zone and try new things, like talking more about herself.
Once she was selected as a semifinalist, she was required to submit a two-minute video in which she had to talk about herself and her life.
“I’ve always been very reserved, and now I want to say who I am, and embrace what God gave me.”
Williams is tall, something she struggled with when she was younger. She wouldn’t wear heels, she felt left out, and it played havoc with her self esteem.
Since entering the contest, Williams said meeting new people, seeing her friends and family so supportive, and having a little attention focused on her at this stage in her life isn’t such a bad thing.
“Why not do this? It’s a way of expressing something that deep down all of us want to do, to feel appreciated in life.”
Williams leaves Monday for New York, where the first-, second- and third-place winners of the contest will be announced at a fashion show and dinner at the Hotel QT in Manhattan on Wednesday.
All three finalists will receive modeling contracts with Wilhelmina, be featured in the June issue of MORE and appear on an upcoming segment of the “Today” show.
A shopping spree, jewelry, hair and makeup products and trips are all part of the winning package.
Williams has never been to New York, and she said that whether or not she wins, the experience has been one she will never forget.
Her son, Zachary, 11, has been behind her 110%, she said, telling her she can do it, and that if she wins, she can do whatever she wants.
That’s something Williams wouldn’t have believed 20 years ago, and if she does win, she’ll be able to put that advice to the test.
She may have to quit her job. After all, she’ll have to honor a $50,000 modeling contract.
“I’ve never modeled before, but I’m willing to learn anything now, and I’ll weigh all the options,” Williams said.
“This is the opportunity of a lifetime.”
SUE THOENSEN may be reached at (714) 966-4627 or at sue.thoensen@latimes.com.
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Sunday, November 25th, 2007 |
Oh yes. I remember my 40th birthday. I was down with a 39degrees fever unlike described by Frank Sinatra’s “you give me fever, what a lovely way to burn.”. Instead, it was an old lady who gave me that darn fever and trust me, fever caused by bloody virus is definitely not a lovely way to burn. My favorite teacher use to tell me to think of something positive, when you are down. The only positive think I could think of at that time, was that I was running the right body temperature for giving an excellent fellatio. What? It’s impossible to think about hiking the Everest when you’re already more nauseas than imagining what the altitude could do to the last content of your food intake.
On a hindsight, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You know what they say about a little near death experience is good to get one’s life into perspective. ( Hey, I am an Aries, and an Arien is an eternal attention seeking child. It’s not my fault I’m a Drama Queen). Well, in my time of despair, there and then I made an important decision in my life. I’ve decided that it was awful to plunge myself in an abyss of self pity and misery and I will not allow myself a second visit there. I’ve decided that, turning 40 will be a dawn of a new chapter in my life. I’ve decided to take charge in writing the plot in this chapter and the theme is being happy while continuing my pursue towards achieving harmonious wealth.
Oh yes, I am an Oprah sucker and in case you’ve missed the episode where the some experts defined “harmonious health”, I’ll just fill you in. Harmonious wealth comprises of 5 elements which are, intelligence, spiritual, relationships, health and material wealth. Sitting alone in bed running a temperature that could cook an egg had it landed on my naval (which is a tricky thing considering the extra fat deposited through the years had made it convex rather than concave…) , obviously I need to work more on the health part.
So, on my 40th birthday, I did not go anywhere to celebrate it. That night, I realize I had been in a place where I’ve not been for a long time. I had been to ME……Suddenly, turning 40 sounds like a dawn of a new beginning…
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Thursday, September 27th, 2007 |
Happy Birthday!
Forty is fabulous! After years of putting others first, I have finally grasped the concept that my life belongs to me. As a young woman, I lived for the approval of others. If I was just pretty enough or did enough for others, I thought, the whole world would like and accept me. Now I know that I no longer need to impress the whole world; I just need to impress me. I still love being beautiful, but it no longer defines who I am. Instead, I have embraced my imperfections and found my talents. I have converted my dreams into goals, and have begun to achieve them one by one. And I now enjoy a new level of comfort with who I am and what I can achieve in life.
As a wife, mother, businesswoman, friend, daughter, sister and granddaughter, the demands on my time never end. However, I no longer strive to be Superwoman because I have learned that when I take time for myself, I don’t take from others. Instead, I add to their wellbeing as well as my own. I now know that when I love myself more, others will respond in kind. And that has given me the freedom, confidence and courage to become more than I ever dreamed possible. Armed with this newfound awareness, I have embraced my courage, ambitions and independence with a confident smile, sassy red lipstick, and a proud new slogan — the best is yet to come!
Fabulously40.com is an on line sorority for women in their prime. Join us as we embark on our journey to the best part of our lives!
Yana Berlin is the founder and CEO of Fabulously40, devoted to the celebration of all things: especially women, and the challenges and joys they face juggling their careers, children, relationships, and life’s other issues. Fabulously 40.com is a social network for women that catalyzes its members to celebrate and embrace their life. Since launching, Fabulously40, Mrs. Berlin has been connecting, and supporting women all over the world.
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Tuesday, September 11th, 2007 |
I can hardly believe it, I will be 40 in about two weeks. I realize many people are not thrilled with such an occasion, but, I am looking forward to it.
Life as we all know is full of bumps and scrapes, ups and more often downs,and can often leave one with a bad taste in their mouth. It is quite the struggle for some of us to get up the stupid hill at all much less reach the point where we are over it. I have earned it !!!
What it means to me to be “over the hill.” The Hill to me is the metaphor pertaining to the struggle to understand our lives and our place in the world. It took me a long time to get the big picture worked out to the point where I understood myself and the world well enough so that I could grow into the person I am now. I can now live with who I am, because I finally realize that I am a descent person. I can live with the hurt and suffering of my early life because I now understand that those who caused my pain were only acting within the boundaries of their own understanding. Life is getting easier because with age comes wisdom, and because now I no longer have to drag all my baggage up the Hill.
HIP_HIP_HOORAY FOR GETTING OVER THE HILL !!!
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Saturday, August 4th, 2007 |
KT’s Diary.
Posted by KT, The Astrologer*
Every year both my parents say to me on or near my birthday “I can’t believe you’ll be X years old.” I usually always agree with them while we sentiment about the years gone by and get to the crux of their comment which is actually how old they are. Yesterday, both my parents called and we went through the same routine. As it was August 1st in Australia it was exactly 2 weeks before “b” day so in 14 days I will be turning 40. I can’t believe I’ll be entering a new decade. I can’t believe I’ll no longer be in my 30’s. I can’t believe I’ll be that old?!?
Like every good astrologer, I cast my solar return chart (birthday forecast) recently and I was pleased that the chart was better than last years chart – which is not saying much. It could be better but I’ll take what I get and deal with it. Over the years I have traveled to different places to change the solar return chart. The planets are still the same but you can shift them into different houses. For example, if you had Mars on the descendant then I would want to push that away from this spot (projecting anger onto others so encountering a lot of angry people that year). By changing the location it would move Mars off into another house. The further away you go the more the planets move. There is also a school of thought that the solar return chart should be cast for the natal birth location but I always use the current location of where the person will be or like I just mentioned, plan a vacation for somewhere else.
A few weeks ago while I was at the height of my age depression (Saturn has been on my Sun) I started watching “Age of Love” while I was on the treadmill. It’s a show about 20 something women versus 40 something women trying to win the affections of a 30 something famous, gorgeous Aussie tennis player. I thought the timing was interesting as I was feeling a little off about being so old rather than embracing it. Anyway, as I’ve tuned into this show it has become more apparent (and probably great editing) that the 40’s have much more to offer. Substance, life experience and confidence which is something the 20’s were portrayed as not having much of. Regardless, it’s made me feel better about my own little breakdown. Right, I’m the one who dishes out the sage advice about going with the flow and all the other insightful stuff so perhaps there’s something to be learned from this. Whatever that may be I think I’ll ponder it over the triple layered chocolate mouse cake I might indulge myself in to celebrate the inevitable. At least it will give me something to look forward to!
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Friday, May 11th, 2007 |
I turned 40 today.
When I was a kid, 40 seemed so old. I don’t think that 40 is old anymore (far from it), but I’m surprised to find that turning 40 has led me to think about how I want to grow old.
That’s not easy to think about - but it is easy to think about how I don’t want to grow old.
A few weeks ago I attended a ritzy charity event, and I swear half the people there - both men and women - had ridiculous stretched faces. They might as well had worn badges that said, “I paid a plastic surgeon a ton of money to look this silly.” I sure as hell don’t want to get old like that.
I also run into people who use age as an excuse not to try something new, and I don’t want to get old like that, either. I’m inspired by folks older than me who continue to move forward and challenge themselves. Dave Winer, for example, keeps coming up with great ideas despite being in an industry over-populated with young whipper-snappers.
And right now I’m getting a kick out of the fact that Rush - whose members are all in their mid-fifties - just put out one of the best albums of their careers (side note: if you’re a Rush fan and don’t agree that it’s a great album, then you need to listen to it a few more times). I love that the very last line on the album is “We could be down and gone, but we hold on.” Not exactly subtle, but still a great closing line.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to this decade - I plan for it to be my favorite one so far 
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Sunday, February 4th, 2007 |
A little while ago I turned 40.Somebody asked me, “Don’t you wish you were 20? Aren’t you freaking out?”
What a funny question for me.
I think that most people wish they were younger. Look at the popularity of Botox treatments and plastic surgery. Everybody strives to make themselves recapture some magic of youth.
What is this “magic of youth”?
The way you look? The way you feel? I must listen to teeny bopper bands and wear fashions from stores that make me look like a surfer dude, with baggy pants and ghetto sneakers?
I look at myself now and when I was 20. I am in much better health now, and have done things physically that I had no chance of doing when I was 20, like triathlons, ironmans and marathons. I have some advantage in genetics, so I could pass for 10 years younger if I wanted to. I have much more experience, emotional intelligence, better understanding and usage of my creativity. I communicate better and I have more skills. I have accomplished so much in my career that most people my age haven’t even gotten close.
Essentially, I am better now at 40 than I was at 20.
Do I wish I was 20?
Nope. Not me.
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Saturday, February 3rd, 2007 |
The countdown begins and soon you will no longer belong to the 30-something group. While some may dread crossing 40 threshold, others may greet the event with anticipation and excitement. Regardless of how you feel, you will probably do what everyone does at this juncture: take stock of your life. What have you done with your life? Are you the person you intended to be and are you living the life you want? For Margo, taking stock yielded regrets and disappointment as she compared her life to that of her friend, Jillian. Happily married with 2 children, Jillian has the life Margo desired. Margo, once-divorced, just ended a toxic common law relationship. This meant that she would wake up alone on her 40th birthday. No lover to give her roses, gifts, take her for dinner or throw a surprise party. Margo felt like a classic failure on the love front. Hitting this milestone, she wallowed in self-pity for all her short–comings in life.
Read the rest of the article.
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Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 |
On this Christmas Eve morning, sipping my cup of Seattle’s Best by the DVD-provided fire, I continue reading Yesterday I Cried by Iyanla Vanzant. And because I can’t say it any better, I had to share her exact words:
There is something magical that occurs when a woman turns 40. She becomes more attractive in a sensual and seductive way. It’s not that her body gets better, but I think she becomes more comfortable with her body and learns how to maneuver it better. At forty, a woman’s eyes begin to sparkle. Not with lust or excitement, but with wisdom. She has seen some things, done some things, and learned some things that show through her eyes. At forty, although there are things on a woman’s body that lie down, at the same time, other things stand out. They become clear. A forty-year-old woman finds her voice, gets her vision and her footing. When I turned forty, I became too old to try to be somebody else, so I stopped trying.
So whether you’re turning 40 in the upcoming year or it’s been a decade or more since you reached that milestone, now is the time to celebrate who you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going. I want to say this is my gift to you, but it’s really your gift to yourself.
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Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 |
Ditto to everything said here already! I had a bit of a panic when I turned 40 as well, but I’m in the best shape of my life in my 40s (I’m 45 now), and people mistake me for 35 all the time. With my increased 40s fitness, I weigh what I did on my wedding day in 1985 again. I am also in much better shape financially and career-wise than in earlier decades, get to travel and do fun things, and am doing things I never thought I would do (like hiking the grand canyon, kayaking, and mountain biking!) The 40s is a very freeing decade for women, once you get past the stigma of the age thing — it’s just a number, and it’s all in what you make it.
The downside of the 40s for me: losses. I felt that I led such a charmed life in my 20s and 30s in so many ways. In my 40s I’ve lost my last two grandparents, my father, and my dog. It’s been a tough road, and as I get older, I know I face more losses of people I love ahead.
With age really does come wisdom and perspective, though. I like the “me” I am now much better than the younger me. I am also much more accepting of my strengths, weaknesses, quirks and neuroses. I have a much easier time just being who I am and speaking my mind. I like that.
Welcome to the “40s and fabulous” club!
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