Via Intentblog Written by Christine Arylo

What if fear no longer stopped you from your dreams?

What is it that you really want right now?

Today was my 40th birthday, and I don’t know how to feel about it. My moods have ranged from gratefulness to mild contentment, to shock, and to sadness. Although I know that I should be so thankful for a roof over my head, a job that I like, etc, I still regret not having had a child, and not taking a chance on love with the gorgeous Cuban that I once knew in my early 20′s. I often see young adults, who are 18-21, and I consider the fact that I could have had a son or daughter their age. I feel like such a freak.

I just turned 40. I am a Korean American living in the motherland and well, I’m having mixed feelings. Friends urged me to have a birthday party but I was too down about turning 40 to go through with it, though I’ll meet a few friends for the occasion.

They say 40 is the new 30, but I’m not feeling it. I am single with no children, a few misses in the marriage category, and for the most part unlucky in love. They say 40 is when you realize that life starts to go down, but that depression eases after mid-life crisis peaks at 43.

Sorry for the depressing talk.

I am turning 40 tomorrow and I am 17 weeks pregnant and all I keep thinking about is if I will see my daughters 40th birthday ( she will be 1 on Tuesday).

I never had an issue of getting older. Now all I want to do is cry when I look at myself in the mirror. I never thought a number would be so hard. I will be going to Disney tomorrow with my wonderful family and then planning my daughters very special birthday.

I hope this gets better.

I want to know what happen to my thirties? Anyway, I am turning 39 in July, working on a possible 2nd marriage (to a younger man), no kids and recently became a police officer. Can anyone help out with why I feel as if the clock is ticking faster and faster by the minute and fighting the blues about it? HELP

I’m turning 40 soon. I am not married and still do not have any kids. My boyfriend has two eight year old children. I am not wanting to settle that I won’t have kids and I do not own my own home yet. I live in a condo. Can dreams still happen after 40? I am getting really bummed out about this. Not sure where to turn.

Help! In May I’ll be 40 and I am freaking out! Married 20 years in June, 4 children ages from 18 to 6 only one marriage and kids all mine. First child just eloped, lived in the same area of California all my life.

I feel like all I will have is a big pile regrets. I dont even own a house yet. Only this big feeling of doom is creeping up on me! How can I fend off this emotional mid life crisis, and what do I do for my Birthday?

I just came across this story about the incredible way one man decided to mark his 40th birthday and I thought you might be interested.

James Spring, a man in San Diego, read about a little girl who had been kidnapped by her parents.  The parents, who were wanted for murder, did not have custody of the child and had fled with her to Mexico.  Mr. Spring decided to go to Mexico and save the little girl (and her baby sister) as a way of celebrating his 40th birthday!

Here’s a link to the story in The Santa Cruz Sentinel:  http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/ci_8851661

I am turning that awful number in just one week. I don’t know if I can take it. I blacked it out on the calendar – I just want to skip over that day-pretend that it doesnt exist. I dont want presents, party or anything to that matter reminding me of that dreadful day. Alot of bad things will happen in my 40′s and in the year that I supposedly will turn 40. First – that is when you get your boobs squished, my 16 year old son will probably get his license and I will have to hope for the best. My youngest will be starting high school this year also. All of that happens right after I turn 40. In my 40′s decade – my youngest will get her license, both children will graduate high school and college. They could also get married and have their own children while in my 40′s. So what is there to look forward to by turning 40? Nothing- I cant think of anything good.

I don’t want to turn 40.  It is bringing out the total rebel in me. Like, i want to start smoking, drinking excessively and just being “wilder” than I usually am.  I “feel” as if I should have it all “together” but am not even close. Am I really old enough to be 40 or is this some cosmic mistake? When I was 23, I had an affair with a man who was the age I am getting ready to be (in April). aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.. I didn’t see him as old but exciting and experienced. I dont’ feel experienced or very exciting. I don’t want to be 40!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today’s the day I stop worrying about turning 40. Because it’s done, and there’s nothing I can do about it, except remind myself to be grateful that I’ve gotten this far.

Over the past week, there has been terrible news. An acquaintance has been killed, a baseball player died, friends and family both received very concerning health news. Everything I need to put my life in perspective is here. I have been given great gifts. I just wish I felt better about how I was using them.

My misgivings about turning 40 have been considerable, but not rising from a general discomfort with growing old – though, I have to say, that number 40 seems as huge today as 30 once did (knowing full well that in 10 years time, both will seem impossibly young). It’s been this feeling that I’ve been moving backward as much as I’ve been moving forward.

That is really a stupid thought, given all that has happened in the past decade. Ten years ago, I was single and barely employed. Today, I am 7 1/2 years into marriage, with two children and – Breaking News – a third one on the way, a second little boy, coming right around the time the Dodgers will make their Coliseum appearance in March. (Talk about your Moon Shots!)

It was just last year that I was 39. I turned 40 this year in March. The number 40 in and of itself doesn’t seem like much, in fact. But along with 40 came things I’d never expected. Aches and pains that were not there before, and a full on fear that grips me at times.

• Fear that I’ll not be able to do some of the things or go some of the places I really still want to.
• Fear that I’ll never do some of those things I did when I was younger.
• Fear that my kids that are starting to grow up, will turn out like little jerks instead of the good men and women that I am hoping for.
• Fear that as I get older I’m turning into my dad.
• Fear that I’ll never own that new Mustang I’ve wanted for so long.
• Fear that there is a real reason not to put off seeing a lawyer about writing a will.
• Fear that I’m approaching “middle age” without a retirement plan.
• Fear that my 20 year marriage isn’t doing well, and I have no idea what to do about it…
• and yes, fear that life will be over sooner that I expected.
• Fear, I never really new fear. Unfortunately now I grow more and more familiar with it.

Funny what just another year can bring.