But it’s just not true. Those toys, video game icons, and pop-culture references are from my youth, but the conscious years, not the zygote years.

Having said that, there ARE some cool things/people turning 40 this year, right along with me. John Lennon’s song Imagine. Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry. And my girl Mary J Blige hits the big 4-0 right alongside me this year.

In honor of facing 40 on Sunday, I decided to stroll down memory lane and celebrate 40 of my Greatest Hits (and a few Misses) of my life in progress, lived out loud…

1. At age 6, scoring a Barbie dream house (the one with the Pink elevator) for Christmas, one of many fave memories from a childhood filled with Barbie

2. At age 7, watching the movie Grease in the theater with my mom, and as the end credits rolled, hearing her say, “In real life, he’d change for her.”

3. Following my globetrotting parents around the world, living on three continents (North America, Australia, Asia) before I was 10

4. Begging my parents for a ventriloquist doll named Lester for Christmas, unwrapping him with glee, and insisting on entertaining my parents friends (and bosses!) with a comedy set that always started with, “OK, Joke Time!”

5. At age 12, mistaking a moat for a puddle during a Sri Lankan downpour (stepping in, plummeting, and resurfacing to the shock and awe of onlookers)

6. At 15, falling in love with Rebel, a creative, fun loving, new waver who had a girlfriend, told me he loved me more, and set the scene for a decade of me chasing emotionally unavailable men who didn’t love me back

7. After high school graduation, getting schooled on how to drink beer (and getting drunk for the first time) with Bad Influence, my high school buddy (His tip: Always drink a root beer first so your burps taste good)

8. Binge drinking root beer (and then some) for four years straight at college

9. At 22, falling in love and moving in with Trouble, a.k.a. a 37-year-old bodybuilder with a checkered past

10. At 23, barely escaping Trouble with my life

11. At 29, landing my dream job where I got to write about Barbie all day long

12. After a safe and predictable three-year relationship with Mr. Vanilla, loudly and proudly proclaiming while watching the movie The Tao of Steve, “I want to meet someone who’ll ROCK my world!”

13. Enter Mr. Rocky Road, a.k.a. the first man to make me feel seen, heard, loved, and adored (when we weren’t embroiled in a codependent nightmare, that is!)

14. Watching all my friends get married, have babies, and settle down, desperately wishing Mr. Rocky Road could get his act together and morph into The One

15. Breaking up, making up, & breaking down for six months straight during my Big Breakup with Mr. Rocky Road

16. Running off to Greece following my Big Breakup: Sunbathing topless for the first time, hiking a 17 km gorge with a gorgeous Air Force officer, and coming home alive, hell bent on proving to my dad I wasn’t foolish, crazy, or wrong for going alone

17. After 4 1/2 years, breaking up the Barbie, quitting my job, & not having a plan

18. Launching my first website BreakupChronicles.com one week after leaving my job

19. Renting out my condo, putting my stuff in storage, and escaping to the Montana wilderness for a month to “figure things out”

20. Scoring my first piece of press, a front-page feature in my hometown newspaper (Miss: Hiding all day when the paper hit stands, afraid to own it and celebrate it)

21. Coming back to LA, sleeping on a blowup mattress on my best friend’s living room floor, and feeling happy for the first time in a long time

22. Falling in love with myself, my life, and becoming a man magnet

23. Meeting my future husband at a bar, thinking he was 20-years-old and gay, bonding over a shared love of David Sedaris and Pink Martini

24. Recognizing on date #2 that my future husband could be The One (he’d just finished telling me, “I’m too nice for the naughty girls and too naughty for the nice ones.” Disco!

25. Telling my future husband on that same second date that I never wanted to get married or have babies

26. Getting my first book deal

27. Becoming a best-selling author (Miss: Coming home from my book tour and realizing I was a broke best-selling author)

28. Getting the call from my publicist that the Today Show wanted me on to talk about my first book IF: I came to New York the following week and shot B roll of one woman getting a post-breakup makeover and another woman having a Movin’ On party. The catch: I had to set it all up (Not having been in New York since college and not knowing anyone in the city, I said yes, and within a week had everything I needed for 2 kick ass segments!)

29. Realizing I really can do anything I set my mind to (Priceless, Mastercard!)

30. After years of being an excessive Sex and the City fan, spending one hour chatting with Candace Bushnell about the REAL Mr. Big

31. Handing my future husband my grandmother’s wedding ring and saying, “Give it back when you’re ready.” (Miss: Getting mad that it took him another six months to propose!)

32. Three years ago, donning a red gown, walking down the aisle to Etta James’ “At Last”, & promising to love my husband forever (The EASIEST thing I’ll ever do)

33. Spending a month in Paris on our honeymoon, watching Obama get elected, and celebrating hope around the world

34. Inspiring my sister to believe in love for the first time in 10 years and find HER Mr. Right

35. Writing 4 more books while building a profitable consulting business I LOVE

36. Loving (and eventually losing) my first pet, my cat Maya

37. Crying when I found out that my beautiful, smart, 18-year-old sister-in-law was pregnant

38. Being my 19-year-old sister-in-law’s birth coach, eventually helping her through a C-section after 19 frustrating hours of labor, and being the first family member to hold my niece

39. Leaving the hospital, realizing for the first time that my niece wasn’t coming home with ME

40. Having made peace with my childhood, being compassionate for my 20 something wild child, and appreciating the wisdom and experience of my 30s, looking forward to my 40s with a mix of curiosity, possibility, and excitement

What about you? What are some of YOUR hits and misses from YOUR life in progress?

Estee Lauder has become my best friend.

I still have a lot to learn.

Age is not a number.

The key to feeling younger is attending a Sunday School group with people my parents age.

I have learned life is not fair

Cliques don’t break up in high school, they still exist among adults.

God has taken me to places beyond my imagination.

I have loved deeply.

Hurt deeply.

My heart has broken in more ways then I thought possible.

The older I get the more I realize how little control I have with life, with my tears, and my emotions, but praise God I know who IS in control.

I have found I love my husband more each year.

I am trying to live a faith that puts off all false pretense (warning link to that post has a few cuss words- but still love the point).

Or any I portray.

I would like to run a 5K sometime. I DID THIS, THIS SATURDAY!!!!

I would like to some day have a week long vacation with my husband; have the honeymoon we never had.

I am too young to have a 12, 15, and 16 year old. They grew so fast.

I remember the day my Mom turned 40 and the party we had at Grandma’s house. How old was I Mom?

There are things in my future I fear greatly.

There are other things I look forward to with great anticipation.

All the dreams I had as a little girl did not work out as I imagined.

Some dreams were greater than I dreamed.

Other dreams did not come true.

I want people to know that I am a sinner who loves God.

No matter what your past holds, God can still use you.

Yeah you, the one that just snorted while reading that last sentence.

I want my kids to look back when they are older and see that I was an imperfect mother who did the best she could.

I want my parents to know how great they are and how thankful I am for the family gatherings I had while growing up.

I would love to find a girlfriend I click with, but who can accept the quirky males I live with.

I have had only one girl friend I clicked with, who understood their quirkiness (or at least tolerated it, ha).

I have been SO blessed by the people the Lord has brought into my life in real life and online. Thank you to anyone who has stopped by and commented! On some days your encouraging words meant the world to me and kept me hanging on!

I am thankful that God led me to book reviewing. Talk about feeding my addiction.

I pray for my son’s future spouse (all three of them). I often wonder if I have meet any of them yet. Can’t wait until I am no longer the only girl.

I am blessed beyond measure and can never thank Jesus enough. As Dave Ramsey says, “I am better than I deserve.”

Despite messing up, falling down, and walking off the right path God has always been there.

Through everything God is faithful.

I am not where I thought I would be when I was younger.

But I am where I know God wants me.

That brings me joy and peace.

via: Lois Reflections.com

Turning 40 is kind of like New Year’s Eve. It’s supposed to be a big deal of some sort, but when it finally comes and there are no miraculous, life changing events, you just feel disappointed.

I’m not sure what I expected to happen today. I knew there’d be lots of facebook Happy Birthday messages and some face to face wishes. I knew I’d be looking forward to sushi and some great company at supper tonight, but on a deeper level I have been conditioned to believe something – bad or good – would happen.

I’ve read a bunch of things about turning 40. They include predictions that your eyesight fails, memory falters, and that you become somehow more wise. For me, halfway through day one, I believe my eyesight is still 20/20, my memory has been crap for years so no change there, and I don’t seem to have acquired a new outlook or any profound wisdom.

I have been trolling the Internet for interesting things, quotes, epiphanies on turning 40. Here’s an example of what I found:

“The first forty years of life give us the text: the next thirty supply the commentary”

“Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.”

“Mental powers peak at 22 and start to deteriorate at 27” (Depressing!)

“Somebody told me the other day that “Life does Not begin at 40. Life begins when the last kid moves out and the dog dies.”

(Not sure how relevant this is, but I’ve got a year and a half till the last kid moves out and the last dog we had, found a new home years ago.)

I then found a site with a woman’s list of “The 40 things every self respecting woman must have by the time she turns 40.”

Thought I’d check out how I measure up:

THE TOP 40

1.) Peace of mind (and a piece of property) – I hope a boat counts as a piece of property.

2.) A will – does it have to be updated? I wrote one when I was 27…

3.) Willpower – I hope dieting doesn’t count here, cuz if so, I’ve failed miserably and I don’t see any miracles happening this year…

4.) A savings account in your own name – Got it! Had one of those since I was 14 though…

5.) A mammogram – can I blame living in Ghana on NOT having this done? Wow – it’s my birthday and I feel guilty now… will add this to my TO DO list…

6.) A manicure (not to mention a pedicure, a facial and a massage–all on the same day) – gonna book one of those! I have an excuse now ☺

7.) A set of matching luggage – I paid an unfathomable amount for a set last year and never use them together…

8.) A ticket to some exotic place to unpack it – Grenada – no ticket yet, but the boat is waiting… so I’m ok on this one.

9.) A great hairdresser, gynecologist and stockbroker – NONE of these….

10.) A passionate, fiery, unforgettable love affair – I’ve been living one of these for the past 8 years!

11.) A little black dress that makes you look five pounds thinner – definitely need to go shopping. I’ve never had one of these. I might have had little black dresses over the years, but none made me look thinner.

12.) A sense of humor, style and purpose – Humour sometimes, style.. um…., purpose – I purposefully live toward a life of freedom, adventure and relaxation.

13.) A selfish streak – shopping must fit in here somewhere…

14.) A spiritual foundation that gets you through a very bad night without going crazy – I struggle with this one, but I know my little boy shines through for me on those brutal nights.

15.) A facial foundation that gets you through a very long day – living in Ghana this would backfire into a sweaty pool of peachy pudding on my collar!

16.) A good bra I’ve got a few – for every type of shirt (which is no easy thing, wearing a non-standard size you can’t find in any North American store! Thank the universe for British bra sizes!)

17.) A good spa – well there is one I’ve been to in Accra, but the masseuses and pedicurists are known to cause damage at times…

18.) A library card (used often) – this must be old. I’ve got the Internet!!!

19.) A credit card (used sparingly) – Yes on both accounts. I don’t believe in debt.

20.) At least one person in your life who says: “You call, I come” – got a few of those. Lucky me!!! You know who you are – and THANKS for being there!

21.) Good body language (multilingual!) – I think I’m pretty good at this. I used to know how to flirt too, but that was long ago ☺

22.) A broken heart and the knowledge you can survive it – been there, definitely survived and came out better the other side of it.

23.) A cause celebre (domestic violence, infant mortality, save the whales–your choice) – I find myself getting worked up over gay marriage rights…does that count?

24.) A personal relationship with a higher being – I believe it’s all inside, just not always easy to find!!!

25.) A personal trainer – I wish!!! I always convince myself these are the reason Hollywood girls looks great, and I get wobblier…

26.) Selective amnesia (“What Saturday morning meeting?”) – I have this without trying.

27.) Gall – Yup.

28.) A good skin-care regimen – Lux soap and water? Maybe I should be doing more?

29.) The ability to converse on any subject without benefit of concrete knowledge or access to facts – working with mostly men in the Telecomms industry has made me a pro in this area…

30.) A shocking secret – I’m sure I’ve got a few, but with my failing memory, I’ve forgotten them!

31.) A pair of silk pajamas – whoever wrote this does NOT live in the tropics. Birthday suit suits me fine.

32.) A lifetime membership in at least one organization dedicated to uplifting women – I prefer to surround myself with women who I admire.

33.) The phone number of someone who is good with their hands – I have one of these in-house!

34.) At least one drop-dead, don’t-speak-to-me-because-you-know-you-don’t-know-me gorgeous photo of yourself – This is why I love photoshop! What wrinkles?

35.) A friendship that has stood the test of time – if by the test of time you mean since we were 5, then yes!!!

36.) One last chance to tell the guy you were crazy about in your 20s who treated you like cigarette ashes on the floor what you were too dumb to know when he walked out with your heart in his hands: “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” – I’ve done this and man it felt good.

37.) A soul mate – when I was 32 I found mine and never looked back.

38.) Faith, hope and a good fantasy – these are always within reach.

39.) A dream – definitely have one of those!

40.) A plan to make it come true – Grenada, Shiloh, we’re coming!!!

So, as I make my way through day one of the rest of my ‘over 40’ life, I reflect on the things I’ve done, those I’ve chosen not to do, and how I have faced the life that’s come my way.

I’m happy and that has to count for a lot.

I don’t feel so bad on this supposed milestone day. Afterall, most people I went to school with (not surprisingly) turned 40 this year, and they still seem normal! They are surviving, thriving and getting on with life.

Even famous people turn 40 this year – ones we still find hot like Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston.

I think life is about taking what’s thrown at you and sifting through it. Taking the things that you like and throwing back the rose creams… I’m hoping that each year I get better at doing that.

It’s also about standing up, standing out, asserting yourself for yourself and no one else. Whether you want to be rich and famous or a good knitter, or something in between…

Life is the journey and the journey is all we have.

WE all like lists, but Terry Bland is more enthusiastic than most with his very own `40 under 40′ – forty things he has to do before he turns 40 on November 10.

So far he has ticked off driving a Bentley, singing with a live band and dancing with a Brazilian (on the pavement outside Bem Brasil!) – but the list gets more challenging . . .

Terry, MD of Manchester software development firm Gödel Technologies Europe, said: “I also have to get a tattoo, swim with sharks, have a go at fire eating, milk a cow and drive off on a Harley Davidson bike for a weekend.

“I think turning 40 is quite a milestone, and you should challenge yourself to do things you have always wanted to.

“It started off as a bit of fun, but some suggestions are more achievable than others!”

His understanding wife added getting a portrait painted to the assignments, and he also has to grow a beard – then have it shaved off with a proper professional wet shave.

Says Terry: “I have already ticked off five, and I am confident I will be able to achieve everything before the big day.”

I have done almost everything I wanted to. I only have 30 things on my list and am adding to it as I think of things.

On July 3, 2008 I will be turning 40. Forty. Four Zero. I’m not upset about it. I’m not sad about it. I’m not anything about it. I genuinely stopped associating anything with the number of years I’ve been alive when I left my wife’s 30th birthday party. And as I have said many times over the past two and a half years, the alternative to getting older every year is a good deal more troubling.

Anyway, in honor of my birthday and in no particular order, here are 40 things about turning 40.

1) I have way more hair on my head than I thought I would.

2) I have way less hair anywhere else than I thought I would.

3) I feel way younger at 40 than I thought I would.

4) I feel way older than I think I should.

5) Now I can hold my head high when entering the clinic asking to have my prostate exam.

6) I should not ask for a prostate exam at the dentist’s office, the movie theater or The Home Depot.

7) If I were 400 years old, I STILL wouldn’t be able to watch The McNeil Lehrer show.

Ditto for NPR.

9) When my dad turned 40, I was almost 15. Fuck was HE old.

10) As I turn 40, my kids are six, two point five and one. I don’t think I’m old at all.

11) Maturity is CLEARLY not age based.

12) 40 sounds like a good age to focus on developing one’s career.

13) I feel like maybe I should feel ashamed rummaging thru the xbox 360 rental section at Blockbuster.

14) I don’t.

15) As much as I hated my job at 30, I LOVE my job at 40.

16) While I hoped I would be, I’m still pretty shocked that the wife and I are still the wife and I after 22 years.

17) I love my wife and kids more than I let on sometimes.

18) Will I ever NOT love pizza?

19) I don’t look like I’m getting older. Why the hell does everyone else?

20) Is there a forty year old on the planet that owns less tools and knows how to do less WITH those tools than me? I’m pretty sure 1doh could run circles around me building a birdhouse.

21) Same goes for cars and car maintenance. I’m pretty sure I could cure cancer before I could change my own oil. Is that healthy?

22) When does one begin taking Geritol? What does it do anyway?

23) Should I concern myself with the farm report, rainfall amounts or titty bars?

24) I am constantly surprised and yet not surprised at all by the stupidity AND the kindness of strangers.

25) I am more conservative politically than I was at 30.

26) I am more disgusted with the republican party than I was at 30.

27) I’d like to start taking my kids to early season Auburn Football games so they experience that in person.

28) I want to teach my kids to do more things than I was taught to do.

29) Is your 40th birthday literally the last day it’s remotely acceptable to drink beer(s) via a funnel and some rubber tubing?

30) I have far few friends at 40 than I had at 20 or 30.

31) I have far better friends at 40 than I do at 20 or 30, and I value them more than I did then as well.

32) I am far closer to my family than I thought I would ever be.

33) I regret the time lost in my life due to my stubborn nature and my short-sightedness.

34) I am about 70-75% comfortable in my own skin and about who I am.

35) I’d like to learn more about macro and global economics so I can be more educated when I vote, invest and bitch about stuff.

36) I always regretted not ending up with a cool nickname.

37) Despite being told for years that your taste buds change and that “someday you’ll like asparagus/broccoli/cauliflower/any bean that isn’t a green bean/any other awful vegetable,” I don’t think I ever will.

38) I wonder how my parents (all of them) do what they do at 20+ years older than me. My knees and ankles hurt like fuck when I get up every day as it is.

39) I look forward to turning 50 WAY more than I did yesterday.

40) PAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Read more from Todd

Today
I’m 40. 40. You know, the number that appears in the Bible whenever
there is testing or trials — the number of days and nights of the flood, the number of years the Israelites wandered in the desert, and the number of days Jesus was tempted in the wilderness by Satan, just to name a few.

So
I could focus on that aspect of turning 40, but I’m not going to do
that. Instead, I’m very thankful. In fact, I’m glad to be turning 40.
I’ve learned a few things along the way, and Lord willing, I’m not
finished learning. To commemorate the day, here are 40 things I’ve
learned, in no particular order:

1. I need the Gospel every day. Not just for Heaven.
2. I’m not always right. (My mom and dad will be really happy to see that!)
3. I have a wonderful husband. And I am right about that!
4. You really can learn to like whole-wheat pasta and brown rice.
5. When your baby cries, it’s okay.
6. Everyone is carrying a burden, even if you can’t see it.
7. Life is a series of adjustments.
8. Time flies.
9. Children grow up.
10. Boys are different from girls.
11. People think about you a lot less than you think they do.
12. When tempted to depression or anxiety, just do the next thing.
13. I’ll never have enough time to read all the books I want to read.
14. I don’t like cold weather.
15. If you didn’t have acne as a teen, you just might have it in your thirties.
16. Digging in the dirt is good for mental health.
17. Typing was one of the most valuable high-school classes I took.
18. A good friend is a precious gift.
19. It’s much more difficult to memorize things as you get older.
20. Basting yourself with baby oil and lying on a tanning blanket is a bad idea. You’ll see the results before you’re 40.
21. Avoiding confrontation never works out well.
22. I’m not the only one who doesn’t enjoy LOTR!
23. It’s okay to admit you don’t like a classic book.
24. Old dogs can learn new tricks.
25. I was stupid to quit piano.
26. Latin rocks!
27. You’re not obligated to answer the phone.
28. I will always have to be a weight watcher.
29. Never use a table as a step ladder.
30. Money spent on trendy clothes or decorative items is usually money I regret spending.
31. When in doubt, delete the post.
32. My mom was right: Tidy up the living areas before you go to bed. It makes for a better start to the next day.
33. My mom and dad were right about a lot of things.
34. Pray as soon as someone asks you to.
35. Always take something to read when you have an appointment. It will help you be patient.
36. Listen more. (actually I’m still learning this one)
37. You never know what you’ll end up doing in life.
38. Cellulite is here to stay.
39. Old habits are really hard to break.
40. I’m still learning.

Before you label me obsessive compulsive or give me any kind of illness read my list and take a look in the mirror.

I am turning 40 on Sunday. So, I thought I would put some kind of a Top 40 list together. I had a lot of options because I love lists. I may do some other Top 40 lists this year but, for starters . . .

Here are 40 of my “quirks”—my peculiar habits, pet peeves, prejudices, and what have you.

1. I hate the phrase “what have you.” As well as “if you will.”

2. If I walk outside in bare feet I must wash them after.

3. I wash my face every time I use the restroom. I am addicted to the feeling of cold water on my face. It’s not a germ thing. It’s an experience thing.

4. If I ever loan you a good paintbrush, just keep it. I don’t want it back. It will never be as clean as I want it when you return it. It is my gift to you.

5. My CD’s are alphabetized by band name or last name of solo artist.

6. If a CD is left out of the case, I freak. Freak.

7. When I put a CD back in the case, I put it in with the title at top. Straight.

8. Same as above with DVD’s (arranged by Title except for collections i.e. Johnny Depp)

9. Shirts in closet arranged by type and color.

10. Can handle only limited amounts of symmetry.

11. I hate plastic utensils and get a little freaked out if someone serves me a meal with them.

12. Paper and wax plates freak me out as well. I will use them if I have to but NEVER if they have gone in the microwave. Don’t ask why.

13. I cannot drink out of plastic cups unless I am drinking a soda from a fountain.

14. I need a shower every day at the beginning of the day before I go anywhere. The only exception is when I am camping in some remote area where there is no water and I will find water. Oh, I will find it.

15. I don’t loan music or books. Unless you are a great friend. Too special to me. Buy your own. If you are starving and can’t buy your own music or books, I will buy you a meal. But, you are not borrowing my music or books.

16. If there is a bee in the room I will go ballistic. I will run out of the house like a little girl. Period. Bees are the devil.

17. I am completely intolerant of dumb people. People who say and do dumb things. You know who I am talking about. People who ask really dumb lack-of-street-sense things.

18. When pastors reference the Book of RevelationS I can’t handle it. Revelation. Tion. No S. One Revelation.

19. I want to punch people in the neck whenever they refer to Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Steely Dan, or Think LIzzy as a “him.”

20. I will not share a drink with anyone. Not even my wife. I will French kiss her all day long but I will not share a drink with her. I will not French kiss you all day long however.

21. I drink wine out of the correct glass. Period. No water glass for wine. No “cup” for wine. No Yahtzee cup for wine.

22. There is a correct orientation for a meal when it is set in front of you at a restaurant. I may have to turn the plate around when the server sets it down. If I am having an enchilada with rice and beans, the rice and beans go on the right. Everyone knows this. It is universal. Do not set my plate down with the beans and rice on the left of the enchilada. Thank you.

23. Glass dolls scare me. They are evil and a result of The Fall.

24. Never say “I seen that” or we will never be friends. I “saw” that. OR “I’ve seen that” are correct. “I have seen that” works just as well.

25. If I make a list for the grocery store or any other list, do not add something to my list. Even if it is good. The problem is, I can’t mix your handwriting with mine. It’s like you inviting yourself into a collaborative workspace I never invited you to. Don’t make me write the list again. This is the same for leaning over and drawing a picture in my notebook or moleskine.

26. Beer is not made for cans. Bottles. If you offer me a beer and end up handing me a can, I will drink it so as not to offend you. But, that’s just not the way to treat friends.

27. If I tap out a tune, I cannot stop in the middle of a measure or phrase, etc. I must tap it out to the nearest resolve.

28. I cannot allow the TV to be set at a volume that is an odd number. Don’t let me see you stop the volume on 63 when 64 is right next to it.

29. It is Espresso people. ESPRESSO. Not EXpresso. How long has this stuff been around now? You should know better.

30. I cannot eat a garden salad when someone has mixed in the dressing. I do my own dressing.

31. Having been a painter for so many years and growing up in a painter’s home, I cannot watch anyone paint their home. I especially cannot watch them roll. I can’t watch them use bad brushes. I can’t. I just can’t. I have ended up painting whole houses for people simply because I couldn’t let them do it.

32. I watch movies when they come on TV even if I own the DVD.

33. I don’t like people shouting for me. Come find me. Don’t yell from the other room. If you do and I don’t answer, don’t call again. I heard you the first time. I am ignoring you.

34. I don’t like it when people call me “dear.” UNLESS they are from the south and have that cool accent. Then, they can call me honey, dear, sweetie, sugar, or any combination of those.

35. I can bathe in a lake or river when camping no problem. But, I cannot take a bath to get clean. If I bathe, I must take a shower after. I blame this one on my dad and some comments he made when I was a child about washing my face with the same water that . . . you get the picture.

36. I love falling asleep somewhere with a breeze on my face but I cannot sleep with a fan on me at night.

37. I can drink out of a cold soda can with no ice but if that same soda is poured into a glass without ice I cannot drink it. Unless I am in Europe. In Europe they have not heard of how to make ice yet. It hasn’t been invented.

38. The toilet paper unrolls over the TOP of the roll—not from underneath. Hotels know this. That is how they can fold the end in a little triangle for you. The triangle is the hotel’s nice way of telling you that is the correct way. By the way, you can make the triangle at home. I do. Ask my wife.

39. I cannot sleep with my hand over the side of the bed. It will not happen. I blame this on Creature Features—the 70’s TV show.

40. I am afraid of the dark when I am alone. If someone is with me it is a piece of cake. If I am alone in the house, I sleep with every light on. You think I’m joking, don’t you?

Do you have a list? Even a short list? Share some of your craziness with me and the rest of the world! Leave a comment.

Check out more thoughts from John at Vertizontal

My alternative to the “Forty Things to do Before I Turn Forty” list? It needed to be something positive, something affirming, something that would help me appreciate the life I’ve had already and the one I have now rather than laying on the pressure to do more, accomplish more, be more. I needed not a list of things to do, but a list of wonderful things I have done in my first forty years, a list of appreciation and celebration. Therefore…

Forty Things I’ve Done Before Turning Forty

1. Learned to see God as a very real and compassionate Person rather than a Lurker with a Big Board.

2. Convinced my brother to willingly eat mud.

3. Slept in trees.

4. Jumped out of a barn loft.

5. Earned a writing degree, had success with creative pieces, publication, readings, two Pushcart nominations and served a week long term as Poet in Residence at Bryan College.

6. Been proposed to or seriously co-considered marriage five times.

7. Had a sixth man fall to his knees dramatically before me in a public place, spread his arms wide and sing loudly, “Besa me! Besa me mucho!”

8. Promptly married him.

9. Stayed married 17 years to the above to date.

10. Gave birth to two children with a midwife presiding and no meds.

11. Learned to enjoy poetry. Learned to detest poetry. Learned I can’t live without poetry.

12. Enjoyed mathematical theory.

13. Pieced and hand-quilted a quilt from dress scraps.

14. Found out what happens when one puts one end of an electrical cord in one’s mouth while the other end is still in the outlet.

15. Learned to cook, yea, even unto a complete Thanksgiving meal for company.

16. Played the piano and the oboe.

17. Walked barefoot through snow.

18. Danced.

19. Put my brother in a tractor tire, rolled him down a hill and survived my mother’s wrath afterward.

20. Attended wonderful Renaissance festivals.

21. Played the lead onstage in “Once Upon a Mattress.”

22. Sang a solo in Handel’s Messiah.

23. Learned to live without medication for an affective disorder–something a diagnosing doctor said I would never do.

24. Lived amid a passion for learning.

25. Discovered a passion for teaching.

26. Learned to live in the midst of prayer.

27. Made peace with an ongoing and difficult relationship from my past.

28. Learned where I fit in my family.

29. Read thousands of astounding, wonderful books.

30. Tutored and taught writing to amazing people.

31. Moderated for the beautiful ladies of LHM’s Lighthouse and Covenant Women for several years.

32. Given up an addictive and self-destructive way of “coping.”

33. Found the courage to keep/enforce my own boundaries while remaining unruffled.

34. Learned jewelry making.

35. Mentored some incredible young women.

36. Learned to recognize and name flowers, trees and other native plants.

37. Taken up yoga.

38. Kindled a love of books in two children.

39. Laughed nearly every day.

40. Been a student of grace.

More from Lucinda 

A NEW study has revealed 40 is the age when people are most likely to get depressed. The pressures of bringing up kids, relationships and ageing can leave people feeling miserable. But, if like Hollywood actress Ashley Judd you’re about to turn 40, it’s not all doom and gloom. Here Lisa Adams looks at the reasons to be cheerful about hitting the big 4-0

1 LET’S face it, 40 is the new 30 because people are living longer. Centenarians will become unexceptional within your lifetime, and the average life-span around the world is double what it was 200 years ago.

2 THERE’S no need to join Facebook or Bebo – you know who your friends are already.

3 YOU’RE already on the property ladder which means you can actually afford to buy a house.

4 YOU’RE the first generation to benefit from the pill.

5 TAKE some inspiration from talented actress Sharon Stone, who celebrates the big 5-0 in March. Actress Michelle Pfeiffer hits her half century in April and Madonna is 50 in August. Dame Helen Mirren, 62, is at the top of her game and will always be older than you.

6 YOU owned a Chopper bicycle.

7 YOU were around when Scotland beat England at Wembley in 1967.

8 THE first man landing on the moon in 1969 was a part of your childhood.

9 YOU can still remember how to write a letter and even know how to spell.

10 YOU may even have a final salary pension scheme.

11 YOU can remember when telly had only two channels, but you could always find something to watch that wasn’t a repeat.

12 YOU’RE wiser too. After decades of risking burn-out by saying yes to everyone, you should finally have learned to look after yourself and say ‘no’ occasionally.

13 FOR men, don’t despair that your football ambitions are over – more and more footballers are playing into their forties. Celtic boss Gordon Strachan played Premiership football until he was 40, while England star Teddy Sheringham still plays football at 41. Sir Stanley Matthews played until he was 50.

14 MARTINA Navratilova won two grand slam titles in her forties – the mixed doubles at Wimbledon and the Australian Open in 2003 – aged 46.

15 LADIES, the biological clock isn’t ringing just as loud as it used to – Nicole Kidman (40) and Halle Berry (41) are both expecting.

16 YOU can remember when TV sit-coms used to be funny.

17 IN modern times, there has never been a Prime Minister younger than 43 (the age Tony Blair was when he was elected in 1997), so there are still plenty of years ahead for the chance to run the country.

18 OF the 400 richest men in America, 47 are in their forties. Bill Gates, worth a cool Û59billion, is 51.

19 YOU can finally feel proud of your body. Mum-of-two Cindy Crawford, 42, said: “I’m actually happier with my body now than I was then, because the body I have now is the body I’ve worked for.”

20 TWO of the sexiest men on the planet – Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt – are both 44.

21 THE Friends stars are in, or pushing, 40 and still looking great. Only Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry (both 38) are just outside the age bracket.

22 BOOTS NO 7 Protect and Preserve serum has been scientifically proven to work. That guarantees glowing skin for longer for just £16.75.

23 BELIEVE the experts. Psychotherapist Dr Susie Orbach, of the London School of Economics, says women in their 50s are more confident, financially independent and healthier than ever before.

24 STUDIES reveal many women in their 50s are enjoying better sex today than they did when they wereyounger.

25 YOU can save a fortune on hair dye. That’s what former newsreader Anna Ford, 54, discovered after going grey last year. Anna said: “It’s not letting go, it’s more that I don’t want to pretend any longer that I am younger than I am.”

26 Sex and the City’s Carrie said: “Men in their 40s are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and you’re never really sure you got the right answer.”

27 YOU lived through the Eighties the first time around, which means today you’re wise enough to avoid hideous style revivals like luminous clothes, jump suits and leg warmers.

28 TAKE confidence from fashion queen Coco Chanel. She said: “You can be gorgeous at 20, charming at 40 and irresistible for the rest of your life.”

29 A LOT has happened in your life which makes you a better person to sit next to in the pub, according to actress Jodie Foster. She said: “I think that women are more interesting in their forties.”

30 IF you’ve just hit 40, you’ve only got 30 years of work to go.

31 LIFE is only going to get faster. The average age for purchasing a Harley Davidson is now 59.

32 YOU got to hide behind the couch on a Saturday night watching Dr Who the first time around when the Daleks were far scarier than they are today.

33 YOU were old enough to appreciate all the magic of the first Star Wars movie release in 1977.

34 YOU’RE more confident about your sex life, or even lack of it. British women in their 40s and 50s are more likely to have a low sex drive than their European counterparts. But more than a third were happy to say an active sex life was simply no longer important to them.

35 YOU’VE got more money than your kids.

36 YOU’RE old enough to remember one of Scotland’s greatest ever football moments, when Archie Gemmell scored against Holland in the World Cup in 1978.

37 YOU never have to go on a Club 18 to 30 holiday again.

38 YOU learned the hard way to avoid perms after the Eighties.

39 YOU’RE not too cool to borrow your kid’s Nintendo DS and even beat them at their own game.

40 TURNING 40 is actually fabulous – what better excuse can you have to throw a big party?

At age 40 many souls simple ‘crash’ and drop out one way or another.

Age 40 has always been a pivotal time for people in terms of relationships, careers, goals and dreams. In a world that is spiritual evolving, people want to work at a job they are passionate about. Thanks to investments, savings, inheritance, winnings, selling their homes and living off the profits, disability benefits and other things that create income, many chose not to work, take up create pursuits, and look at their life to evaluate who they are and what they are about.

At 40 a failed business or career, especially for someone with no educational background, can leave them with no income. Many people run family businesses that sell or dissolve when they hit 40 leaving them with no way to earn a living as they have no skills, education, or place to apply for work.

At 40, people with the opportunity often change careers and return to school, to do something different. In our reality, most people who are young will change careers many times in their lifetime, so be prepared. Most 40 years old are part of the ever changing computer world where gaining new skills is important.

Physically, at 40, there may be a need to be healthy after a period of neglect. As things may begin to sag a bit, plastic surgery can be another option. In some cases there is a complete makeover.

More than taking care of the physical body, one often looks at their emotional scale – mental health issues and substance abuse or other addictive patterns that need to be removed. To heal the physical body, one must heal the emotional. This can go from interventions, to medication, but it always starts with a person realizing they are out of control and 40 years old is time to face the facts. You can’t heal if you are in denial. Think about who you are hurting besides yourself.

Spirituality: In the 21st century, the quest for change often takes our 40 year old on a spiritual journey. There are endless avenues along the way which include books, sacred trips, classes, yoga, CD’s…whatever the soul attracts by synchronicity. That is the secret.

Romance at 40: The quest to find The One is often rekindled as works on them self and seeks a functional relationship. To become open and consciousness at 40 is to seek a partner of like mind, not a wounded soul, as that takes the person back to that which they have just overcome. Many people seek love through affairs, the transition person, Internet affairs in chat rooms or the like. By 40 one has hopefully made the choice to end a bad relationship or take it to another place. Our motto: “Either it works or it doesn’t.”

At 40, any way you cut it, you are not old and you will seek passion on all levels. You should know what type of relationship works for you, and as you attract partners be able to examine the issues and decided if you want to replay old patterns, have a passionate passing romance, or is this person going to be there for you. Can you be alone? Do you feel cheated?

40 is the age women must seriously look at whether or not they will have a child, if they have not had one. If they plan a child in their 40′s, do they want to have a teenager when they are in their 60′s?

Single people may have to face the facts that they may have to live their lives alone.

Life is not easy, but at 40, it is time to make it easier and more fun.

Turning 40 is disappointing,scary and exciting.

1. I am not a size 6 like I hoped I’d be
2. My hair is natural a natural, curly MESS
3. I own a house, my favorite car and dog
4. I am going on a cruise for 7 days with my daughter this summer
5. I am presently unemployed
6. I am going back to school in the spring
7. I am writing a book FOR REAL I got almost 200 pages
8. I found a kitten
9. I’m getting rid of the kitten by next week
10. I finally confessed how I feel to a man that I’ve been seeing for 4 yrs
11. I have been a very lonely person for a long time
12. I no longer have close dependable friends in my life
13. My son is homeless
14. My daughter is selfish
15. I am overweight by 80lbs
16. I am being interviewed as Moxy Woman for December and have no documentation of my accomplishments to share
17. My house is still a mess
18. I finished my island
19. My screen door is still not hung but it’s screened and sitting on the front porch ready
20. I found vitamins that I like
21. I am still depressed but I dont want to do meds
22. I am catching up on my netflix movies
23. I have a warrant out for my arrest
24. I am tired of faciliating the women’s group
25. I am going to powerwash my house this week
26. I am going to clean my garage out
27. I love italian toast with extra berries from Empire onWestheimer
28. I don’t eat as much as I used to
29. I like my hair most days
30. I miss my son
31. I really want new friends who live close. My old friends make promises they can’t keep
32. I’m getting my hairdone and a massage on my birthday
33. I love my dog Biko
34. I’m going to major in Psychology/Humanities
35. I need to find Choc-a-bloc
36. I’m scared to get a mammogram
37. I have no plans for New Year’s Eve
38. My brother and his family are supposed to come for Christmas dinner
39. I am still celibate and I’m not sure why
40. I am soooo looking forward to 40!!!!!!!!

Today is my last day in my 30′s, and as I look ahead to the arrival of my 40′s I thought I’d share some of my thoughts/feelings/observations on the subject. Because like it or not, it’s coming.

1) Where has all the time gone? No, I mean really?

2) I guess this means that I’m an adult now. Despite the onset of middle age, I still think of myself as a kid most of the time who’s masquerading as an adult.

3) As cliched as it sounds, you really are as young as you feel.

4) Remember in A Christmas Carol where Scrooge, upon realizing that he is in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come says something like, “I fear you. More than any other spirit that I have encountered”? That’s how I feel about turning 40.

5) What is it with our culture that we tend to see years ending in a “0″ as milestones of some sort?

6) It’s just another birthday.

7) You only turn 40 once, but if you think about it, you only turn 33 once, or 12 once, or 78 once.

Those books about sex over 40 or fitness over 40 or life after 40 really annoy me.

9) As my good friend John says, “We’re at the top of the hill”, as in preparing to be over said hill in the years to come.

10) My first memory is of playing with a toy gorilla in the dirt driveway of my Mom’s first house. It was a trailer. Maybe because it’s my first memory I use it as the frame of reference whenever I look back over my life…

11) I’m more comfortable in my own skin now than I was at 20 and 30.

12) You know, on some deep, irrational level, I thought that I might somehow live forever.

13) Is it a sign of wisdom to say that I genuinely think that I’m wiser now that I’m older?

14) What’s the big deal?

15) It’s a good time to be alive.

16) No, I am NOT writing 80 thoughts about turning 80 when I turn 80…

17) I’m going to be halfway to 80.

18) I wonder if my hairline will recede a lot in my 40′s?

19) Speaking of hair, I’m noticing more “salt” in the “pepper”, if you catch my meaning.

20) I’m only half way through this list? What made me think that I could bang out 40 ideas when I started out writing this?!

21) I wrote that last sentence after sentence 11 so I wouldn’t forget to when I got to it. I’m writing this sentence after writing number 12.

22) Getting back to hair, I don’t mind gray hairs so much from a a color perspective. No, I hate them because they tend to be all twisted and dead.

23) I could die tomorrow.

24) I could live to a ripe old age.

25) At what point does from go from ripe to overripe?

26) Would we age better if we were placed in brown paper bags? You know, like pears?

27) I recently realized that energy has more to do with health habits and less to do with age.

28) I’m glad that my wife and I are close in age.

29) Only 10 more sentences to go!

30) 30 seemed kind of like a big deal, until I got to 40 that is…

31) Someone called me an “Old Soul” a while ago. I was really honored by that.

32) I refuse to grow up!

33) Thanks for reading this far.

34) I’m at peace with this.

35) I can’t believe I’m only 10 years away from 50!

36) I am not over.

37) I am just beginning.

38) I will continue to grow.

39) -The number of lashes Jesus received when held prisoner by the Romans. (40 was said to be fatal).

40) My favorite quote seems appropriate: “Death is nor the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies within us while we live.”

Ebony, August, 1997 by Laura B. Randolph

Camille Cosby told it to Oprah and Oprah told it to me and, a few weeks ago, I told it to a Sister-friend who was feeling down, distressed and depressed because her life was about to take a dreaded turn. She was turning 40.

What Oprah told me Camille told her and I told my friend is this: “You should be out on your veranda dancing because you are about to experience one of the most magnificent, marvelous events in a woman’s life.”

“Oprah said that?” my friend asked incredulously.

“Well, those weren’t her exact words, but yeah.”

“You swear you’re just not saying it to make me feel better?”

“I swear.”

“Okay,” said my almost-40 friend. “Tell me everything she told You. Leave out nothing. Nada. Not a single word.”

Basically, if I understood Oprah correctly, it all comes down to this. At 40, something magical happens to you–something liberating and rejuvenating and exhilarating. You acquire a healthy disregard for what other people think. You gain the confidence to define yourself boldly and on your own terms. You don’t accept anyone else’s judgments but your own. In short, you stop living your life for other people and start living it for yourself. The force is with you because, at long last, it is in you.

“Before I turned 40, I used to always worry about what everybody thought about everything,” Oprah explained to me. “I get thousands of letters a week, and I used to pick the ones who didn’t like something about me and call them and try to make them like me. I tracked one woman down because she didn’t like my earrings.”

In her pre-40 days, when it was her, not just her earrings or her clothes or her hair, that people didn’t like, their criticism could send her over the edge. “I remember years ago I had a long conversation with Sidney Poitier and I was just weeping to him,” she told me. “And as I sat there crying, he said, `You have to remember you are carrying people’s dreams, and when you are carrying people’s dreams, oftentimes they put burdens on you that are not yours to bear. You have to decide what your dream is for yourself.’”

And that is the lovely, liberating, life-changing lesson that, as Oprah put it, “you just don’t get when you’re 28,” but, at 40, you see with crystal clarity.

And she was right. If life really begins at 40, it’s because that’s when women finally get it. The guts to take back their lives. Seize the day. Glorify the new season and seasoning–the spice of experienced Black womanhood. It’s their time and the time is right for a little self-indulgence.

With that in mind, I told some fortysomething Sisters about my friend and we worked out a whimsical little birthday wish list–a Top 40 list for Miss Oh-My-God-I-Can’t-Be-40. But it’s also a pretty good checklist for any Sister headed for the day of reckoning. So here they are. The 40 things every Black woman must have by the time she turns 40.

THE TOP 40

1.) Peace of mind (and a piece of property).

2.) A will.

3.) Willpower.

4.) A savings account in your own name (and an IRA in the name of your future security).

5.) A mammogram.

6.) A manicure (not to mention a pedicure, a facial and a massage–all on the same day).

7.) A set of matching luggage.

8.) A ticket to some exotic place to unpack it.

9.) A great hairdresser, gynecologist and stockbroker.

10.) A passionate, fiery, unforgettable love affair.

11.) A little black dress that makes you look five pounds thinner.

12.) A sense of humor, style and purpose.

13.) A selfish streak.

14.) A spiritual foundation that gets you through a very bad night without going crazy.

15.) A facial foundation that gets you through a very long day without going ashy.

16.) A good bra.

17.) A good spa.

18.) A library card (used often).

19.) A credit card (used sparingly).

20.) At least one person in your life who says: “You call, I come.”

21.) Good body language (multilingual!).

22.) A broken heart and the knowledge you can survive it.

23.) A cause celebre (domestic violence, infant mortality, save the whales–your choice).

24.) A personal relationship with God.

25.) A personal trainer.

26.) Selective amnesia (“What Saturday morning meeting?”).

27.) Gall.

28.) A good skin-care regimen.

29.) The ability to converse on any subject without benefit of concrete knowledge or access to facts.

30.) A shocking secret.

31.) A pair of silk pajamas.

32.) A lifetime membership in at least one organization dedicated to uplifting Black folks (e.g., National Council of Negro Women, the NAACP).

33.) The phone number of someone who is good with their hands.

34.) At least one drop-dead, don’t-speak-to-me-because-you-know-you-don’t-know-me gorgeous photo of yourself.

35.) A friendship that has stood the test of time.

36.) One last chance to tell the guy you were crazy about in your 20s who treated you like cigarette ashes on the floor what you were too dumb to know when he walked out with your heart in his hands: “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

37.) A soul mate.

38.) Faith, hope and a good fantasy.

39.) A dream.

40.) A plan to make it come true.

COPYRIGHT 1997 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group

Everyone I know has an opinion about turning 40, which seems to be a critical year in the life of a modern human being. In their responsivness to the issue of turning 40, there seem to be three main groups of people:

1. Those who say “It’s just a number.”
2. Those who say “You look great for your age.”
3. Those who say “It’s better than the alternative.”

Here’s the thing: they’re all right. And I’m feeling alright.

My wife treated me to a wonderfully relaxing, enjoyable and thoroughly memorable weekend. No surprise parties, no question-and-answer periods, no pressures. Just the joy of knowing that I was loved and that I’m an extremely fortunate individual. I counted blessings all weekend. Here are forty of the more publishable ones:

1. Being alive.
2. Being known.
3. Being healthy.
4. Being wealthy.
5. Being wise.
6. Being a father.
7. Being a husband.
8. Being self-employed.
9. Being awake.
10. Being Jewish.
11. Being wordly.
12. Being on earth.
13. Being honest.
14. Being trustworthy.
15. Being sane.
16. Being of medium build.
17. Being technical.
18. Being productive.
19. Being in Canada.
20. Being able to read.
21. Being able to write.
22. Being able to think.
23. Being able to create.
24. Being able to own.
25. Being able to fight.
26. Being able to form.
27. Being able to fantasize.
28. Being able to run.
29. Being able to rest.
30. Being able to rat.
31. Being able to spent.
32. Being able to save.
33. Being able to decide.
34. Being able to be wrong.
35. Being able to resist.
36. Being able to recognize.
37. Being able to realize.
38. Being able to blog.
39. Being able to bleed.
40. Being able to ride.

About to Place the Big 4-0 on Your Birthday Cake? Before You Do, Read This On August 15, 2007, my husband will turn 40. Lord willing.

“What things do you want to do before you turn 40?” I asked him.

“Hmmm…I hadn’t really thought about it,” he said, much to my surprise. You see, I’m only 37, and I’ve already created my wish list of stuff I’d like to cross off in the next three years.

If you too are staring down the nose at 40 (which is still the new 20, by the way), your virginity is probably long gone. But there are still plenty of other fields of passion to yet be plowed, so to speak.

Use the following list to inspire you to get off your spreading arse and live:

1. Don’t die!
2. Write a book.
3. Learn a new language.
4. Visit a new country.
5. Pay off all your debts.
6. Sponsor a poor child.
7. Get back in shape.
8. Try out for a movie…
9. …sing horrible karaoke…
10. …or do anything to embarrass yourself!

11. Take one step toward your true passion.
12. Quit your dead-end job.
13. Stop smoking.
14. Rethink your least-favorite food. Taste buds change.
15. Go outside your comfort zone.
16. Move into the house of your dreams.
17. Meet a new friend…
18. …of a different race…
19. …and a different religion than you.
20. Forgive your mother. Hasn’t it been long enough?
21. Call your dad. Hasn’t it been too long?
22. Stop speeding…
23. …and kill your road rage.
24. Take up a new sport. Squash anyone?
25. Play around with a new computer software program.
26. Drive on Route 66.
27. Confess your affair to your spouse…
28. …or, at least to yourself. Then end it.
29. Take a cruise.
30. Host a fun dinner party.
31. Kick your all-day caffeine habit.
32. Find out the major tenets of all major faiths. Pick one. We all need something to believe in.
33. Read the lyrics of one classic rap song…
34. …one popular country ode…
35. …and one rock anthem.
36. Book that plastic surgery consultation you’ve been wanting since forever.
37. Set up your own website or blog.
38. Live and let live.
39. Live and let die.
40. Live and live and live some more!

Twenty three more days and I will be 40. I think turning 40 gives me the right to sit and really contemplate life.

I am excited about being 40! For me 40 means “I have arrived!” I am no longer a kid, I am not a young, insecure mother. I have been married enough years now to know what I want, how to get it…and to know I can get it for myself.

40 means I can dress how I want. I can be casual and cool…without looking foolish or I can be sophisticated and alluring.

40 means I won’t be pushed around by some teenager behind a counter. I won’t be intimidated by a boss or person of authority. I’m 40 now and I can’t be messed with.

40 means I need to start using wrinkle cream on a regular basis…not that I hate my wrinkles…oh no! Those wrinkles around my eyes show how much joy and laughter I have had in the last 40 years. But if I don’t start taking care of them now when I am 60 I will look like I lived on a funny farm where I laughed non-stop. lol

40 means there might possibly be some botox in my near future. It also means eating right, taking care of myself, frequent trips to the salon for pedicures, manicures, eyebrow waxing and massages.

40 means my husband is really married to an older woman. I like being the “older woman” older women are desirable. We know what we want, we know what we like and most importantly…we know how to give you what you like.

40 means you don’t play sex games with your husband anymore. Not the fun kind…I mean the kind where you withhold sex cause he didn’t take out the trash. That kind of stuff was for the young girls …40 means he WILL take out the trash or I will just do it myself and do it in my silk nighty. LOL

40 means my parents are much, much older now…and I should savor every single second I have with them. And while I am not a little girl anymore I will always be one in their hearts.

40 means I can sing at the top of my lungs and not care who is listening or watching me. 40 means I have wisdom I can share with those women younger than me.

40 means my life is probably half over and I should make the most of the years that remain. That I should sky dive if I want too. I should snorkle in Hawaii, I should drink beer in a real Irish pub, I should get that second tattoo I have been wanting and maybe even get my belly button pierced.

40 means I should dance naked around the house when I feel like it…of course that is after I check to make sure the blinds are closed.

40 means I should go fishing more and not be embarrassed to spit on my worm. (old trick great grandma taught me) Although 40 also means I should learn to master spitting so it doesn’t always end up on my chin.

40 means I will never be a part of that purple dress, red hat wearing society. I am always going to be too cool for those colors.

40 means a black birthday cake that reads “over the hill.” Not cause I am over the hill, but because I plan on coasting down that hill from here on out. 40 means I should be coasting in a Caillac but one can’t have everything.

40 will be fun, fabulous, fantastic and I will be FOXY! hee hee

2. Start and continue an exercise regime for three months, even if it kills me [God, I’m lazy]

3. Do sit ups everyday for 3 months [Yup, still lazy]

4.  Learn to accept my body and all it’s imperfections (yeah, right) [oh, I am laughing…wooo hooo.]

5. Read novels I should have already read, classics I read a long time ago and either hated them with a fiery passion or loved them with a fiery passion to see if time has changed my feelings towards them [Still hate One Hundred years Of Solitude… hate it.]

6. Go to Paris with my husband

7. Spend a summer in Italy with my children

8. See the Grand Canyon

Read the rest of the list.