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I woke up this morning pretty much like any other. The alarm sounds, we hit snooze for 10 minutes, cherishing every last second of cuddliness before the second alarm, and then the forcing of the feet to hit the floor, stumbling crusty eyed into the washroom. Face wash, pee, brush teeth and so the day begins.

Turning 40 is kind of like New Year’s Eve. It’s supposed to be a big deal of some sort, but when it finally comes and there are no miraculous, life changing events, you just feel disappointed.

I’m not sure what I expected to happen today. I knew there’d be lots of facebook Happy Birthday messages and some face to face wishes. I knew I’d be looking forward to sushi and some great company at supper tonight, but on a deeper level I have been conditioned to believe something – bad or good – would happen.

I’ve read a bunch of things about turning 40. They include predictions that your eyesight fails, memory falters, and that you become somehow more wise. For me, halfway through day one, I believe my eyesight is still 20/20, my memory has been crap for years so no change there, and I don’t seem to have acquired a new outlook or any profound wisdom.

I have been trolling the Internet for interesting things, quotes, epiphanies on turning 40. Here’s an example of what I found:

“The first forty years of life give us the text: the next thirty supply the commentary”

“Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.”

“Mental powers peak at 22 and start to deteriorate at 27” (Depressing!)

“Somebody told me the other day that “Life does Not begin at 40. Life begins when the last kid moves out and the dog dies.”

(Not sure how relevant this is, but I’ve got a year and a half till the last kid moves out and the last dog we had, found a new home years ago.)

I then found a site with a woman’s list of “The 40 things every self respecting woman must have by the time she turns 40.”

Thought I’d check out how I measure up:

Manchester Evening News

WE all like lists, but Terry Bland is more enthusiastic than most with his very own `40 under 40′ – forty things he has to do before he turns 40 on November 10.

So far he has ticked off driving a Bentley, singing with a live band and dancing with a Brazilian (on the pavement outside Bem Brasil!) – but the list gets more challenging . . .

Terry, MD of Manchester software development firm Gödel Technologies Europe, said: “I also have to get a tattoo, swim with sharks, have a go at fire eating, milk a cow and drive off on a Harley Davidson bike for a weekend.

“I think turning 40 is quite a milestone, and you should challenge yourself to do things you have always wanted to.

“It started off as a bit of fun, but some suggestions are more achievable than others!”

His understanding wife added getting a portrait painted to the assignments, and he also has to grow a beard – then have it shaved off with a proper professional wet shave.

Says Terry: “I have already ticked off five, and I am confident I will be able to achieve everything before the big day.”

I turn 40 at the end of the year and am stressed about it. I started a list of “40 things I want to do before i turn 40″ It has helped me to realize that there is not much I want to do…

I have done almost everything I wanted to. I only have 30 things on my list and am adding to it as I think of things.

From Palm Tree Pundit

Today
I’m 40. 40. You know, the number that appears in the Bible whenever
there is testing or trials — the number of days and nights of the flood, the number of years the Israelites wandered in the desert, and the number of days Jesus was tempted in the wilderness by Satan, just to name a few.

So
I could focus on that aspect of turning 40, but I’m not going to do
that. Instead, I’m very thankful. In fact, I’m glad to be turning 40.
I’ve learned a few things along the way, and Lord willing, I’m not
finished learning. To commemorate the day, here are 40 things I’ve
learned, in no particular order:

1. I need the Gospel every day. Not just for Heaven.
2. I’m not always right. (My mom and dad will be really happy to see that!)
3. I have a wonderful husband. And I am right about that!
4. You really can learn to like whole-wheat pasta and brown rice.
5. When your baby cries, it’s okay.
6. Everyone is carrying a burden, even if you can’t see it.
7. Life is a series of adjustments.
8. Time flies.
9. Children grow up.
10. Boys are different from girls.
11. People think about you a lot less than you think they do.
12. When tempted to depression or anxiety, just do the next thing.
13. I’ll never have enough time to read all the books I want to read.
14. I don’t like cold weather.
15. If you didn’t have acne as a teen, you just might have it in your thirties.
16. Digging in the dirt is good for mental health.
17. Typing was one of the most valuable high-school classes I took.
18. A good friend is a precious gift.
19. It’s much more difficult to memorize things as you get older.
20. Basting yourself with baby oil and lying on a tanning blanket is a bad idea. You’ll see the results before you’re 40.
21. Avoiding confrontation never works out well.
22. I’m not the only one who doesn’t enjoy LOTR!
23. It’s okay to admit you don’t like a classic book.
24. Old dogs can learn new tricks.
25. I was stupid to quit piano.
26. Latin rocks!
27. You’re not obligated to answer the phone.
28. I will always have to be a weight watcher.
29. Never use a table as a step ladder.
30. Money spent on trendy clothes or decorative items is usually money I regret spending.
31. When in doubt, delete the post.
32. My mom was right: Tidy up the living areas before you go to bed. It makes for a better start to the next day.
33. My mom and dad were right about a lot of things.
34. Pray as soon as someone asks you to.
35. Always take something to read when you have an appointment. It will help you be patient.
36. Listen more. (actually I’m still learning this one)
37. You never know what you’ll end up doing in life.
38. Cellulite is here to stay.
39. Old habits are really hard to break.
40. I’m still learning.

I have a few quirky things about me. Those who know me and love me aren’t bothered by them—though they make fun of me at times for some of them. We all have them, but some of mine probably require therapy of some kind.

Before you label me obsessive compulsive or give me any kind of illness read my list and take a look in the mirror.

I am turning 40 on Sunday. So, I thought I would put some kind of a Top 40 list together. I had a lot of options because I love lists. I may do some other Top 40 lists this year but, for starters . . .

Here are 40 of my “quirks”—my peculiar habits, pet peeves, prejudices, and what have you.

1. I hate the phrase “what have you.” As well as “if you will.”

2. If I walk outside in bare feet I must wash them after.

3. I wash my face every time I use the restroom. I am addicted to the feeling of cold water on my face. It’s not a germ thing. It’s an experience thing.

4. If I ever loan you a good paintbrush, just keep it. I don’t want it back. It will never be as clean as I want it when you return it. It is my gift to you.

5. My CD’s are alphabetized by band name or last name of solo artist.

6. If a CD is left out of the case, I freak. Freak.

7. When I put a CD back in the case, I put it in with the title at top. Straight.

8. Same as above with DVD’s (arranged by Title except for collections i.e. Johnny Depp)

9. Shirts in closet arranged by type and color.

10. Can handle only limited amounts of symmetry.

11. I hate plastic utensils and get a little freaked out if someone serves me a meal with them.

12. Paper and wax plates freak me out as well. I will use them if I have to but NEVER if they have gone in the microwave. Don’t ask why.

13. I cannot drink out of plastic cups unless I am drinking a soda from a fountain.

14. I need a shower every day at the beginning of the day before I go anywhere. The only exception is when I am camping in some remote area where there is no water and I will find water. Oh, I will find it.

15. I don’t loan music or books. Unless you are a great friend. Too special to me. Buy your own. If you are starving and can’t buy your own music or books, I will buy you a meal. But, you are not borrowing my music or books.

16. If there is a bee in the room I will go ballistic. I will run out of the house like a little girl. Period. Bees are the devil.

17. I am completely intolerant of dumb people. People who say and do dumb things. You know who I am talking about. People who ask really dumb lack-of-street-sense things.

18. When pastors reference the Book of RevelationS I can’t handle it. Revelation. Tion. No S. One Revelation.

19. I want to punch people in the neck whenever they refer to Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Steely Dan, or Think LIzzy as a “him.”

20. I will not share a drink with anyone. Not even my wife. I will French kiss her all day long but I will not share a drink with her. I will not French kiss you all day long however.

21. I drink wine out of the correct glass. Period. No water glass for wine. No “cup” for wine. No Yahtzee cup for wine.

22. There is a correct orientation for a meal when it is set in front of you at a restaurant. I may have to turn the plate around when the server sets it down. If I am having an enchilada with rice and beans, the rice and beans go on the right. Everyone knows this. It is universal. Do not set my plate down with the beans and rice on the left of the enchilada. Thank you.

23. Glass dolls scare me. They are evil and a result of The Fall.

24. Never say “I seen that” or we will never be friends. I “saw” that. OR “I’ve seen that” are correct. “I have seen that” works just as well.

25. If I make a list for the grocery store or any other list, do not add something to my list. Even if it is good. The problem is, I can’t mix your handwriting with mine. It’s like you inviting yourself into a collaborative workspace I never invited you to. Don’t make me write the list again. This is the same for leaning over and drawing a picture in my notebook or moleskine.

26. Beer is not made for cans. Bottles. If you offer me a beer and end up handing me a can, I will drink it so as not to offend you. But, that’s just not the way to treat friends.

27. If I tap out a tune, I cannot stop in the middle of a measure or phrase, etc. I must tap it out to the nearest resolve.

28. I cannot allow the TV to be set at a volume that is an odd number. Don’t let me see you stop the volume on 63 when 64 is right next to it.

29. It is Espresso people. ESPRESSO. Not EXpresso. How long has this stuff been around now? You should know better.

30. I cannot eat a garden salad when someone has mixed in the dressing. I do my own dressing.

31. Having been a painter for so many years and growing up in a painter’s home, I cannot watch anyone paint their home. I especially cannot watch them roll. I can’t watch them use bad brushes. I can’t. I just can’t. I have ended up painting whole houses for people simply because I couldn’t let them do it.

32. I watch movies when they come on TV even if I own the DVD.

33. I don’t like people shouting for me. Come find me. Don’t yell from the other room. If you do and I don’t answer, don’t call again. I heard you the first time. I am ignoring you.

34. I don’t like it when people call me “dear.” UNLESS they are from the south and have that cool accent. Then, they can call me honey, dear, sweetie, sugar, or any combination of those.

35. I can bathe in a lake or river when camping no problem. But, I cannot take a bath to get clean. If I bathe, I must take a shower after. I blame this one on my dad and some comments he made when I was a child about washing my face with the same water that . . . you get the picture.

36. I love falling asleep somewhere with a breeze on my face but I cannot sleep with a fan on me at night.

37. I can drink out of a cold soda can with no ice but if that same soda is poured into a glass without ice I cannot drink it. Unless I am in Europe. In Europe they have not heard of how to make ice yet. It hasn’t been invented.

38. The toilet paper unrolls over the TOP of the roll—not from underneath. Hotels know this. That is how they can fold the end in a little triangle for you. The triangle is the hotel’s nice way of telling you that is the correct way. By the way, you can make the triangle at home. I do. Ask my wife.

39. I cannot sleep with my hand over the side of the bed. It will not happen. I blame this on Creature Features—the 70’s TV show.

40. I am afraid of the dark when I am alone. If someone is with me it is a piece of cake. If I am alone in the house, I sleep with every light on. You think I’m joking, don’t you?

Do you have a list? Even a short list? Share some of your craziness with me and the rest of the world! Leave a comment.

Check out more thoughts from John at Vertizontal

In my blog wanderings and perusals over the past three years, I’ve seen many lists of “Forty Things to do Before I Turn Forty.” By the time I thought of composing my own, my time was seriously running out, and I was faced with either making a list of “Forty Things to Accomplish in the Next Nine Minutes” or of finding a creative alternative. (Allow me to offer a small bit of advice: given a choice between Lots of Potentially Emotionally Unhinging Work or a Creative Alternative, go for the latter.)

My alternative to the “Forty Things to do Before I Turn Forty” list? It needed to be something positive, something affirming, something that would help me appreciate the life I’ve had already and the one I have now rather than laying on the pressure to do more, accomplish more, be more. I needed not a list of things to do, but a list of wonderful things I have done in my first forty years, a list of appreciation and celebration. Therefore…

Forty Things I’ve Done Before Turning Forty

1. Learned to see God as a very real and compassionate Person rather than a Lurker with a Big Board.

2. Convinced my brother to willingly eat mud.

3. Slept in trees.

4. Jumped out of a barn loft.

5. Earned a writing degree, had success with creative pieces, publication, readings, two Pushcart nominations and served a week long term as Poet in Residence at Bryan College.

6. Been proposed to or seriously co-considered marriage five times.

7. Had a sixth man fall to his knees dramatically before me in a public place, spread his arms wide and sing loudly, “Besa me! Besa me mucho!”

8. Promptly married him.

9. Stayed married 17 years to the above to date.

10. Gave birth to two children with a midwife presiding and no meds.

11. Learned to enjoy poetry. Learned to detest poetry. Learned I can’t live without poetry.

12. Enjoyed mathematical theory.

13. Pieced and hand-quilted a quilt from dress scraps.

14. Found out what happens when one puts one end of an electrical cord in one’s mouth while the other end is still in the outlet.

15. Learned to cook, yea, even unto a complete Thanksgiving meal for company.

16. Played the piano and the oboe.

17. Walked barefoot through snow.

18. Danced.

19. Put my brother in a tractor tire, rolled him down a hill and survived my mother’s wrath afterward.

20. Attended wonderful Renaissance festivals.

21. Played the lead onstage in “Once Upon a Mattress.”

22. Sang a solo in Handel’s Messiah.

23. Learned to live without medication for an affective disorder–something a diagnosing doctor said I would never do.

24. Lived amid a passion for learning.

25. Discovered a passion for teaching.

26. Learned to live in the midst of prayer.

27. Made peace with an ongoing and difficult relationship from my past.

28. Learned where I fit in my family.

29. Read thousands of astounding, wonderful books.

30. Tutored and taught writing to amazing people.

31. Moderated for the beautiful ladies of LHM’s Lighthouse and Covenant Women for several years.

32. Given up an addictive and self-destructive way of “coping.”

33. Found the courage to keep/enforce my own boundaries while remaining unruffled.

34. Learned jewelry making.

35. Mentored some incredible young women.

36. Learned to recognize and name flowers, trees and other native plants.

37. Taken up yoga.

38. Kindled a love of books in two children.

39. Laughed nearly every day.

40. Been a student of grace.

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