Turning 40 - It’s All About the Journey

Tomorrow is my 39th birthday and the start of my 40th year. I had a really fun Friday kicking off my birthday weekend…It started with breakfast with my coffee group friends, followed by lunch with a friend in the city. I came home from lunch to find an overnight air box on my doorstep, full of beautiful cut flowers–my favorites, irises and tulips–and lovely note, sent from my man ♥. My parents sent me some funny birthday cards in the mail, too.

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When you turn 39, of course the inevitable comment you receive is, “You’re almost 40!” I’m not bothered by that fact at all; I am actually looking forward to turning 40 next year. I spent a few years in my mid-30s really figuring out how I want my life to be…taking stock of my strengths as well as acknowledging and accepting my limitations. As a result, I feel like I’m a stronger, better person now than I was 10 or even 5 years ago. I credit Zen mindfulness and meditation for a lot of this growth. Of course, there are still many things I want to see and do in life, and I hope that I will always continue to be open to growth and experience in various forms and philosophies.

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Last night I was talking with my dad on the phone and the conversation turned a little deep. At one point he said, “Do you ever have times in your life when out of the blue, you realize you are *this* close to really understanding the purpose and meaning of life and the universe…As if you get a glimpse and understanding of it all?”

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I completely understood what he was describing. I think I’ve always understood what’s really important in life, largely thanks to the way I was raised. But it has only been as I’ve approached 40 that I’ve started to really FEEL the deeper purpose of life, the earth, the universe.

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I don’t know if someone can teach you that or whether you just have to figure it out on your own. Some of it comes from the strength of life experience and some from just mellowing with age. No one has all the answers, and I’m skeptical of anyone who claims they do. Enlightenment is an evolution that takes a lifetime and perhaps more. But I do know that you have to be open to the idea of receiving the lessons in order to have those moments of clarity that Dad described.

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As babies, we come into this world alone, with our receivers wide open. Our life experience and increasing responsibilities and limitations jam our receivers over time. I guess you could call it a sort of electronic warfare on the soul. Some people never clear the signal and carry on with resulting distortion. As I use the tools of Zen mindfulness and meditation to increase my awareness, the gift is higher fidelity. Like my father, from time to time, my reception is crystal clear and I get a glimpse of the full bandwidth of the universe.

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As I embark on my 40th year, I plan to spend the rest of my life fine tuning my reception. And on this birthday, I am most thankful for the gifts of loving family and friends and my nascent Zen wisdom.

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