Turning 40 - It’s All About the Journey

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Are You Turning 40 and Looking for a Profound Life Change?

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From Palm Tree Pundit

Today
I’m 40. 40. You know, the number that appears in the Bible whenever
there is testing or trials — the number of days and nights of the flood, the number of years the Israelites wandered in the desert, and the number of days Jesus was tempted in the wilderness by Satan, just to name a few.

So
I could focus on that aspect of turning 40, but I’m not going to do
that. Instead, I’m very thankful. In fact, I’m glad to be turning 40.
I’ve learned a few things along the way, and Lord willing, I’m not
finished learning. To commemorate the day, here are 40 things I’ve
learned, in no particular order:

1. I need the Gospel every day. Not just for Heaven.
2. I’m not always right. (My mom and dad will be really happy to see that!)
3. I have a wonderful husband. And I am right about that!
4. You really can learn to like whole-wheat pasta and brown rice.
5. When your baby cries, it’s okay.
6. Everyone is carrying a burden, even if you can’t see it.
7. Life is a series of adjustments.
8. Time flies.
9. Children grow up.
10. Boys are different from girls.
11. People think about you a lot less than you think they do.
12. When tempted to depression or anxiety, just do the next thing.
13. I’ll never have enough time to read all the books I want to read.
14. I don’t like cold weather.
15. If you didn’t have acne as a teen, you just might have it in your thirties.
16. Digging in the dirt is good for mental health.
17. Typing was one of the most valuable high-school classes I took.
18. A good friend is a precious gift.
19. It’s much more difficult to memorize things as you get older.
20. Basting yourself with baby oil and lying on a tanning blanket is a bad idea. You’ll see the results before you’re 40.
21. Avoiding confrontation never works out well.
22. I’m not the only one who doesn’t enjoy LOTR!
23. It’s okay to admit you don’t like a classic book.
24. Old dogs can learn new tricks.
25. I was stupid to quit piano.
26. Latin rocks!
27. You’re not obligated to answer the phone.
28. I will always have to be a weight watcher.
29. Never use a table as a step ladder.
30. Money spent on trendy clothes or decorative items is usually money I regret spending.
31. When in doubt, delete the post.
32. My mom was right: Tidy up the living areas before you go to bed. It makes for a better start to the next day.
33. My mom and dad were right about a lot of things.
34. Pray as soon as someone asks you to.
35. Always take something to read when you have an appointment. It will help you be patient.
36. Listen more. (actually I’m still learning this one)
37. You never know what you’ll end up doing in life.
38. Cellulite is here to stay.
39. Old habits are really hard to break.
40. I’m still learning.

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No worries as I start a new chapter in life

By Phil Knapper - Sports Editor The Benton Evening News

Officially, as I am writing this, I have six more days until I turn 40. There’s been no panic yet, no wringing of the hands and no crying or gnashing of teeth.

Just calmness. Really.

A lot of people would circle May 1 on their calendars with a big black marker if they were in my shoes. Most people I know that are turning 40 rank this particular birthday right up there with their joy of flossing. Me, I’m fine with it. Really.

Turning 40 does give you a chance to reflect on things. My 20s were great … wait, change that adjective to delicious. My 30s forced me to deal with a few more “grown up” things and, to tell the truth, I’m kind of looking forward to my 40s.

There are a couple of things, though, that do make me wonder a little bit. When you think about people that have been incredibly successful by the time they are 40, or shortly therafter, it makes you take a little stock in your life.

You think about young 40-somethings like J.K. Rowling - of Harry Potter, Inc. - and how Rowling has changed children’s literature forever. Or Johnny Depp, who was named People magazine’s “sexiest man alive” at age 40.

That kind of success is hard to live up to. I mean, I occasionally collect aluminum cans and I always treat well at Halloween, but I’m no Johnny Depp. Really.

But I do feel young. I have a job that forces me to want to stay young. I am around young people almost every day and I will show no weakness. There might be an occasional “Goo!” when I have to get off the bench in the dugout, or a knee might lock up on a trip up some rickety bleachers, but I plan on being there every day keeping it real. Really.

And I think that’s why I’m not that worried about 40. Okay, I’m worried that someone might put an ad in the paper that says “Lordy, Lordy Look Who’s 40”, but that’s just because it is the most annoying phrase ever uttered.

And, oh yeah, there’s those prostrate exams I am supposed to be scheduling on a yearly basis now, too, but, for the most part, things are cool.

Now a few facts about my birthday:

• I share the same special day with Tim McGraw (country) and Calamity Jane (western), yet I hate country and western music. Go figure.

• I share the same birthday with Ray Parker Jr. I have no explanation for that, but it is kind of cool.

• The Empire State Building was completed on May 1, 1931. We are a lot alike, me and the ESB, we both have a lot of stories.

• And, my birthday is a Russian holiday aimed at getting worker’s a shorter work day. Perfect.

My gut feeling is that this coming Thursday will come and go pretty quietly, which is more than I can say for this past year, which had some major developments.

I left a job I had held for over 15 years to come back to my hometown and work which was the first major development of Year 39. I also met a ton of new people, including some awesome co-workers, who make my job a joy every day. Lastly, I got some new wheels.

So if I can make Year 40 as great as Year 39 I will have no worries at all. Really.

Posted in Gratitude, Looking Back | No Comments »

40 Quirks for 40 Years by John

I have a few quirky things about me. Those who know me and love me aren’t bothered by them—though they make fun of me at times for some of them. We all have them, but some of mine probably require therapy of some kind.

Before you label me obsessive compulsive or give me any kind of illness read my list and take a look in the mirror.

I am turning 40 on Sunday. So, I thought I would put some kind of a Top 40 list together. I had a lot of options because I love lists. I may do some other Top 40 lists this year but, for starters . . .

Here are 40 of my “quirks”—my peculiar habits, pet peeves, prejudices, and what have you.

1. I hate the phrase “what have you.” As well as “if you will.”

2. If I walk outside in bare feet I must wash them after.

3. I wash my face every time I use the restroom. I am addicted to the feeling of cold water on my face. It’s not a germ thing. It’s an experience thing.

4. If I ever loan you a good paintbrush, just keep it. I don’t want it back. It will never be as clean as I want it when you return it. It is my gift to you.

5. My CD’s are alphabetized by band name or last name of solo artist.

6. If a CD is left out of the case, I freak. Freak.

7. When I put a CD back in the case, I put it in with the title at top. Straight.

8. Same as above with DVD’s (arranged by Title except for collections i.e. Johnny Depp)

9. Shirts in closet arranged by type and color.

10. Can handle only limited amounts of symmetry.

11. I hate plastic utensils and get a little freaked out if someone serves me a meal with them.

12. Paper and wax plates freak me out as well. I will use them if I have to but NEVER if they have gone in the microwave. Don’t ask why.

13. I cannot drink out of plastic cups unless I am drinking a soda from a fountain.

14. I need a shower every day at the beginning of the day before I go anywhere. The only exception is when I am camping in some remote area where there is no water and I will find water. Oh, I will find it.

15. I don’t loan music or books. Unless you are a great friend. Too special to me. Buy your own. If you are starving and can’t buy your own music or books, I will buy you a meal. But, you are not borrowing my music or books.

16. If there is a bee in the room I will go ballistic. I will run out of the house like a little girl. Period. Bees are the devil.

17. I am completely intolerant of dumb people. People who say and do dumb things. You know who I am talking about. People who ask really dumb lack-of-street-sense things.

18. When pastors reference the Book of RevelationS I can’t handle it. Revelation. Tion. No S. One Revelation.

19. I want to punch people in the neck whenever they refer to Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Steely Dan, or Think LIzzy as a “him.”

20. I will not share a drink with anyone. Not even my wife. I will French kiss her all day long but I will not share a drink with her. I will not French kiss you all day long however.

21. I drink wine out of the correct glass. Period. No water glass for wine. No “cup” for wine. No Yahtzee cup for wine.

22. There is a correct orientation for a meal when it is set in front of you at a restaurant. I may have to turn the plate around when the server sets it down. If I am having an enchilada with rice and beans, the rice and beans go on the right. Everyone knows this. It is universal. Do not set my plate down with the beans and rice on the left of the enchilada. Thank you.

23. Glass dolls scare me. They are evil and a result of The Fall.

24. Never say “I seen that” or we will never be friends. I “saw” that. OR “I’ve seen that” are correct. “I have seen that” works just as well.

25. If I make a list for the grocery store or any other list, do not add something to my list. Even if it is good. The problem is, I can’t mix your handwriting with mine. It’s like you inviting yourself into a collaborative workspace I never invited you to. Don’t make me write the list again. This is the same for leaning over and drawing a picture in my notebook or moleskine.

26. Beer is not made for cans. Bottles. If you offer me a beer and end up handing me a can, I will drink it so as not to offend you. But, that’s just not the way to treat friends.

27. If I tap out a tune, I cannot stop in the middle of a measure or phrase, etc. I must tap it out to the nearest resolve.

28. I cannot allow the TV to be set at a volume that is an odd number. Don’t let me see you stop the volume on 63 when 64 is right next to it.

29. It is Espresso people. ESPRESSO. Not EXpresso. How long has this stuff been around now? You should know better.

30. I cannot eat a garden salad when someone has mixed in the dressing. I do my own dressing.

31. Having been a painter for so many years and growing up in a painter’s home, I cannot watch anyone paint their home. I especially cannot watch them roll. I can’t watch them use bad brushes. I can’t. I just can’t. I have ended up painting whole houses for people simply because I couldn’t let them do it.

32. I watch movies when they come on TV even if I own the DVD.

33. I don’t like people shouting for me. Come find me. Don’t yell from the other room. If you do and I don’t answer, don’t call again. I heard you the first time. I am ignoring you.

34. I don’t like it when people call me “dear.” UNLESS they are from the south and have that cool accent. Then, they can call me honey, dear, sweetie, sugar, or any combination of those.

35. I can bathe in a lake or river when camping no problem. But, I cannot take a bath to get clean. If I bathe, I must take a shower after. I blame this one on my dad and some comments he made when I was a child about washing my face with the same water that . . . you get the picture.

36. I love falling asleep somewhere with a breeze on my face but I cannot sleep with a fan on me at night.

37. I can drink out of a cold soda can with no ice but if that same soda is poured into a glass without ice I cannot drink it. Unless I am in Europe. In Europe they have not heard of how to make ice yet. It hasn’t been invented.

38. The toilet paper unrolls over the TOP of the roll—not from underneath. Hotels know this. That is how they can fold the end in a little triangle for you. The triangle is the hotel’s nice way of telling you that is the correct way. By the way, you can make the triangle at home. I do. Ask my wife.

39. I cannot sleep with my hand over the side of the bed. It will not happen. I blame this on Creature Features—the 70’s TV show.

40. I am afraid of the dark when I am alone. If someone is with me it is a piece of cake. If I am alone in the house, I sleep with every light on. You think I’m joking, don’t you?

Do you have a list? Even a short list? Share some of your craziness with me and the rest of the world! Leave a comment.

Check out more thoughts from John at Vertizontal

Posted in 40 Things | 2 Comments »

Cynthia Nixon talks about Turning 40

Cynthia Nixon gave a very candid interview with the May issue MORE magazine about Sex and the City movie (Yay! Yay! Yay!), her divorce and her current relationship with her live-in girlfriend.

Nixon also revealed to Good Morning America today that she was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago and explained that she didn’t want to make it public then so paparazzi wouldn’t follow her to the hospital.

On turning 40: “Turning 40 was a very real thing for me. I felt it in a way that I didn’t when I turned 30 or 35. Forty was a peak: I could look forward and I could look back. I had to start thinking, the decisions I make count, and what are the thing I want to do? [Singing was something] I was definitely afraid of. It’s incredibly revealing and intense. Part of it was that my mother is a wonderful singer, and she encouraged me as an actress, but with the singing?-not so much.”

Posted in Celebs | 1 Comment »

Tackling 40, Smiling for the Cameras

Forty might be the new 30. But while social attitudes about chalking up 480 months and 350,400 hours have changed, it is still a big deal, big enough for its own television show. “The Big 4-0,” a new reality series that begins on Wednesday night on TV Land, documents people turning 40 in the age of Botox, Viagra, fat-sucking surgery and life coaches.

Photographs from TV Land

Brian Scheele and his wife, Cindi, preparing for his 40th.

Not that there’s anything wrong with those little tweaks along the way. You just won’t find them front and center in these “Big 4-0” profiles, which include a former football player, a father of quadruplets who uses a wheelchair, a woman facing divorce. The six people in the six-part series all showcase moments of challenge, crisis or transformation. And fun too.

“It was just this moment in life, which is so important,” said J D Roth, a producer of “The Big 4-0” with Todd A. Nelson of 3 Ball Productions. Their credits include the reality shows “Beauty and the Geek,” the CW competition series that pairs dumb beauties and smart geeks, and “The Biggest Loser,” the NBC weight-loss contest.

Mr. Roth promises the musings and the festivities of his crop of celebrants are in marked contrast to MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16,” the hit reality show about the elaborate birthday bashes of often spoiled teenagers.

“It’s not like turning 16, where you’re showing off,” said Mr. Roth, who turns 40 this month. “Forty is about family and friends,” he said, and it is often a time with more questions than answers. “We picked people searching for something.”

Anyone born in 1968 or thereabouts who wants to share “The Big 4-0” experience can do so via the Internet. TVLand.com has photographs of the show’s participants and message boards to discuss birthday plans. Mr. Roth said he figured there was enough angst and wisdom out there for 100 episodes.

The show’s first episode follows Derrick Moore, a former running back for the Atlanta Falcons and Detroit Lions. Mr. Moore, a family man in suburban Atlanta, is now the chaplain and developmental coach for the athletes at Georgia Tech. But facing 40, he wants to prove that he still has the stuff, physically speaking. He sets up a football game with some of his former N.F.L. friends facing off against Georgia Tech players.

“It’s an incredible achievement,” he said in an interview, meaning his experience, on screen and off. “Our culture and society has changed greatly over the years, so the potential of so many things that can happen” has changed greatly. He added, “Now at 40, you can meet that person you dream about, you can start a family, you can go back to college.”

“I’ve done all those things,” Mr. Moore said, “so I can only imagine the potential I have for the next 40 years.”

Immediately following his profile on Wednesday (a night of back-to-back episodes) is the story of Lisa Custard, a former model who is now a wife and mother in Los Angeles. Her 11-year-old son, Dylan, wakes her up the morning of her birthday, singing, “Yo, yo, yo,” while her husband, Kevin, records it all on a video camera. Ms. Custard, the usual reality TV extrovert, plans a party at a Beverly Hills club that will culminate with her popping out of a cake.

Her issue: she so worries about being hot and sexy at 40 that none of her friends know her age. Her other bit of baggage is a two-year estrangement from her mother. And her husband and son have cooked up their own surprise for the big party.

“I was really scared about turning 40,” Ms. Custard said in an interview. “There’s this double standard. When men get that shiny gray hair, they’re sophisticated. Us, it’s uh-oh, you’re getting old.”

But times change, and she has changed too, Ms. Custard said. Filming her birthday adventure was cathartic, she explained, adding that she hoped that that upbeat message would come across to viewers. “Are you going to be 40 and fierce?” is how Ms. Custard put it. “Or are you, ‘I’m 40 and my life is almost over?’ ”

Hint: Ms. Custard now tells her age.

Brian Scheele, whose story is to be broadcast next Wednesday, has had the kind of challenges that help many people moaning about turning 40 put things in perspective.

He was a newlywed when he broke his back in a horseback-riding accident. It paralyzed his legs, put him in a coma and landed him in a wheelchair. He and his wife, Cindi, remain happily married, though, and the couple have quadruplets, who are now 6.

“The Big 4-0” shows Mr. Scheele playing homemaker on the family’s ranch north of San Antonio. He scurries around the kitchen preparing pancakes for the children and doing laundry. Still, he wistfully watches the children ride away on their bicycles. His two big plans for turning 40 are to go sky diving and horseback riding.

“It’s risky,” Mrs. Scheele says on camera of her husband’s wish to tumble out of an airplane. She and the children whisper about their own more earthbound plans for him. Will her fears stop her husband?

That question, of course, is answered in the episode.

Mr. Scheele said in an interview that he hoped his experience could be inspirational. “I’m lucky, and I learned so much I want to share,” he said. “Nowadays you can figure out a way to do anything.”

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Mid Life Crisis by Peter

Help! In May I’ll be 40 and I am freaking out! Married 20 years in June, 4 children ages from 18 to 6 only one marriage and kids all mine. First child just eloped, lived in the same area of California all my life.

I feel like all I will have is a big pile regrets. I dont even own a house yet. Only this big feeling of doom is creeping up on me! How can I fend off this emotional mid life crisis, and what do I do for my Birthday?

Not fun and Sunny in California.

Posted in Fear | No Comments »

Taking Stock Turning 40 by Steve

This December I turn 40. I don’t know why but I‘ve become so utterly depressed about it. My 20’s & 30’s breezed by with barely a thought about my age, but for some reason turning 40 has hit hard. It feels like yesterday I was finishing school & today I’m suddenly almost 40. I don’t feel 40.

I feel the same as I did when I was 18. Maybe not quite the same shape but mentally I do. Lately I’ve found myself reminiscing of my teens & early 20’s, listening to music from that time, looking at old photos and talking to my friends about the things we did. Some days are good others are bad. Some days it just seems to consume my every thought & feeling. I lie awake at night thinking of the past, remembering things probably more as I want to remember them, through rosy coloured glasses.

I try to remind myself of all the great things that I’ve seen & done. I’m married to an absolutely beautiful and wonderful person who is my best friend, have a great marriage, a beautiful daughter & another one due soon. I live in a beautiful part of the world, own a great house, and have seen so much of the world.

I know I’ve been fortunate, and don’t deny that, but I just can’t help focusing on turning 40. Both of my parents died relatively young and that may be a major contributor to the feeling that there are less days ahead now than there are behind me. I miss them terribly.

Maybe it’s the reality that my time has past & it’s now my children’s time to discover the world, to have their own adventures and experiences. It’s their world now. Maybe 40 makes you take stock of things and reflect on your life. Thinking of all the things I wanted to be and the man I became.

Posted in Getting Closer, Looking Back | No Comments »

Create a Vision Board by Rosa

A way to break through any block is to create a vision board.  I have used this technique for over 25 years. What it does is focus your brain on what you want instead of what is holding you back. Then the mind will begin to find ways to resolve those blocks to keep you moving toward your vision. It is highly effective. I always seem to get what is on my board. If I don’t it is often because, I realized I really didn’t want it.

When I was losing weight I had images of lean and slender woman who looked fit. As I was turning 40 and I was at my ideal weight I changed my focus. I put on my board a caption that was on a magazine that said “40 and WOW”. Look for photos and phrases that are inspiring to you and make your goal real. Create a board of these images. This is a great thing to teach kids, my children and I have done this together as a craft project.

Place the board somewhere where you can look at every day. I have one right in front of me right now, it is focused on my business and has images of success. The brain unconsciously works on this goal even when you are not thinking about it. Give it a try.

If you do create one show it to me! Here is the one I created when I turned 40, I wanted to workout with weights and reduce my body fat. I was also focused on my ebusiness and writing a book, so this helped me to stayed focused on my goals.

Rosa is a life coach  with a speciality in wellness and weight loss. She is certified in Hypnosis, NLP, EFT and Success Coaching. She is the author of Mind Over Platter: Train Your Brain to Think Thin, as well as the creator of Hypnosis CD’s for weight loss. Her site is www.mindoverplatter.com

Posted in Health/Fitness, New Outlook | No Comments »

Man Rescues Little Girl to Celebrate his 40th Birthday

I just came across this story about the incredible way one man decided to mark his 40th birthday and I thought you might be interested.

James Spring, a man in San Diego, read about a little girl who had been kidnapped by her parents.  The parents, who were wanted for murder, did not have custody of the child and had fled with her to Mexico.  Mr. Spring decided to go to Mexico and save the little girl (and her baby sister) as a way of celebrating his 40th birthday!

Here’s a link to the story in The Santa Cruz Sentinel:  http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/ci_8851661

All the best,

Andi

http://thethinksithink.blogspot.com

http://listsgalore.blogspot.com

Posted in Celebrating, Fear | No Comments »

Embarking on My 40th Year by Amber

Amber is a communications consultant/small business owner, US Air Force Reserve officer and suburban zoo keeper (read: wife and mother) based in Arizona. She can usually be found with her trusty sidekick, a Golden Retriever named Zoë. Her blog, Blue Mango,  journals her creative inspirations and personal expressions.

Posted in Getting Better with Time, Getting Closer | No Comments »

Age can be a funny thing by Denise

I’m turning forty next year - yes, the big 4-0. Some people are terrified of that designation of “middle-age”, but I’m looking forward to it. Yes, I’m strange that way.

Turning twenty was wonderful; I was no longer a teenager. Thirty seemed as if the beginning of life had come, and perhaps I’d finally gain the respect of my older peers (yeah right, like that’s ever going to happen). So what is the matter with turning forty? For me, absolutely nothing. I celebrate it. It means I’ve survived another milestone.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t think I’d make it to my next birthday. When the physical body wears thin it really makes your world and focus shrink down to what is truly important. During that time, life for me was about reaching that next milestone to ensure I’d be here for my son. He became my driving life-force to do everything possible to live another day, week, month, and year.

Life has such meaning and purpose to me each and every day. I no longer struggle just to survive; now I thrive. It is a precious gift to be given a second chance.

It also means I’m moving forward. So forty, come on down!

From The Chatter’s Block

Posted in Getting Better with Time, New Outlook | No Comments »

Beauty Quote from Ellen Barkin

Posted by Beauty Match on April 5, 2008

Posted in Celebs | 1 Comment »

Metamorphisis by Samantha

I think it started when I turned 35, that whole mid-life thing. I had always considered anything over 70 as gravy, so 35 was half-way there.

Oh My God!

I looked at my life at that moment and was horrified. I had nothing.

I’d just given up my entire life to help my mother with hers. Possibly the worst choice of my life, or perhaps just a part of the big picture plan, who knows. Either way, I was living in an unfinished basement desperately trying to please an unpleasable woman. My marriage was falling apart rapidly, my kids were suffering and I thought, this is what I’d worked my ass off for nearly twenty years for?

In all honesty, I fell into a deep depression that probably lasted three years and during that time I tried to accept that this was my life, end of story, this was as far as I got.

That season of my life ended and I thought that was that, but the following years proved to be even harder. I lost four babies and my marriage and I no longer speak with my mother or sister. I feel in ways I’ve lost everything that I was. There are night like this, where I realize there is really no one on the planet (besides my kids, I hope.) who would miss me if I disappeared and that makes me profoundly sad.

Turning forty was like the dawning of a new day.

There is this feeling of “I don’t have as long as I used to.” I mean facts are facts, and I feel this pressure to make the next twenty or thirty years (should I be so blessed) count.

I don’t want to flounder any more. I don’t want to wander along letting the current of others in my life dictate my path any longer. I want to do something meaningful. I want to touch lives and make a difference.

I want to become a woman of immeasurable worth. It’s time for the butterfly season of my life to begin.

About Samantha

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Is There a Romantic Life After 40? Check Your E-Mail.

By Jeannie MacDonald
Special to The Washington Post

So, there I was, still single at 40, feeling about as marketable as flesh-eating bacteria.

Dating at 40 is like having the measles at 40: It’s not terminal, just painful and a little embarrassing. Officially, I was a grown-up. I had an IRA and a mortgage. I didn’t need a husband to “complete me,” but I wanted to share my life with someone. Yet after a while, the thought of yanking on pantyhose for another pointless McDate held all the allure of passing a kidney stone.

I mean, let’s do the math. I’d been on Soul Mate Patrol since the Ford administration. I’d scaled the Boys-to-Men Food Chain, from high school and college steadies to 20-something flings, to having my heart sledgehammered in my 30s by the one I thought I’d marry. Next thing I know, I’m turning the Big 4-0, feeling like an adult with a full set of baby teeth, wondering how many more dates I can take before I roll up my uterus and call it a life.

Ironically, married friends envied my freedom. Others accused me of being “too picky.” (Hey, if you’re not picky about love, what should you be picky about? Waxed or unwaxed floss?) Then there were the smug, married-by-25 women who viewed me with pity, convinced I’d die one of those horrible spinster deaths: surrounded by cats, identified by dental records.

I’d been as proactive in searching for Mr. Right as one can be without tripping a restraining order. Well-meaning pals fixed me up with anyone who had a pulse and a prostate. I joined a gym. Tried a dating service. I went out with men of all ages, heights and hairlines. Some would swear they were smitten, then vanish, as if they’d entered the federal witness protection program. Others I liked, but they didn’t like me. Help! I’m trapped in a middle-school flashback.

By 40, I also hit the baby-shower wall. It got to the point where it just wasn’t worth two days of Haagen-Dazs self-medication to recover from them. Yep, nothing says “rock-bottom remainder” like being the only singleton in a room filled with women bonding over Diaper Genies.

Then, one September morning, after taking the summer off from a run of dates culminating with an engineer who spoke fluent Klingon, I received an e-mail from a stranger. The subject line (”We both know Teddy Teller”) was the only thing that stopped me from pressing “delete.” Teddy was my first boss after I graduated from Boston College. If they were friends, it seemed safe to read on.

John introduced himself as a single dad who worked with Teddy in Seattle. He suggested we correspond. Instantly, my default mode — hardened by two decades of dates-from-hell scar tissue — kicked in. He sounded sweet, so there must be something wrong with him. Cyclops, I decided.

After calling Teddy to confirm John wasn’t a serial killer, I thought, why not? He lived three time zones away. Nothing could possibly come of this.

I wrote back. We fell into a rhythm, like longtime tennis partners. Ping (he talked about his 9-year-old daughter, Ann). Pong (I told him about my dog, Spencer). Ping (he described the pain of divorce). Pong (I shared my dreams and regrets).

We wrote daily, conducting a 19th-century-style courtship, getting to know each other from the inside out. No in-person pheromones to distract us. No phone calls, either — the spell would be broken if he sounded like Elmer Fudd.

By late October, we’d grown too close to stay apart. John sent flowers for my birthday, and wrote, “This is ridiculous. I’ve got to meet you.” Taking a deep breath, theme from “Rocky” buzzing in my head, I typed, “You’re right,” and clicked “Send.”

The first hug felt like coming home. Within two days, we were talking marriage. Imagine that. My last serious relationship lasted three years and ended in a draw over commitment. Now, 36 hours after meeting, John and I were ready to take the leap, and it didn’t feel rash. It felt right.

That July, we married. Teddy was John’s best man. Ann was my bridesmaid. That was eight years ago, and I’m here to testify, if you’re 40 and single, check your spam catcher. Somewhere among those Viagra ads and Nigerian bank scams, you just might find what you’ve been looking for.

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