Archive for December, 2007
Saturday, December 29th, 2007
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Are You Turning 40 and Looking for a Profound Life Change?
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News you may not know
The Latest Health Craze
Sure, it’s not the most joyous of all occasions. But, turning forty needn’t be a harbinger of life on the decline. In fact, with just a bit of care, the decades beyond forty can easily be the most enjoyable period of one’s life.
Scientists continue to verify the health benefits of an active lifestyle. Especially as we age. A recent study by researchers at the University of Cambridge finds that even modest exercise helps those over forty prevent stroke.
A little background information will help us gain a bit of perspective. 15 million people worldwide suffer strokes each year. 5 million of these people die, and an additional 5 million are permanently disabled. In the United States, someone suffers a stroke every 45 seconds - someone dies of a stroke every 3 to 4 minutes. In 2004, females accounted for over 60% of the stroke deaths in the U.S.
The researchers examined over 13,000 men and women, ages 40 to 79, between 1993 and 1997. They then followed their health status through 2005.
The researchers assessed the participants’ physical abilities in completing everyday tasks: climbing stairs, carrying groceries, kneeling, bending and lifting. They found the more capable individuals were in completing these tasks, the lower their risk of stroke. Those in the top 25% of physical capability were 50% less likely to have a stroke than those in the lowest 25%.
“People who reported better physical health had significantly lower risk of stroke,” said study author Phyo Kyaw Myint, MRCP, with the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom.
Go ahead - enjoy your fortieth birthday. And, to make sure there are many more, add a bit of stretching, bending, walking, stair climbing, and grocery carrying to your daily routine. Before you know it, you’ll be celebrating with a cake blessed with too many candles to count - and, a life full of vibrant years to match.
To read more about the study, see this from ScienceDaily. To learn more about stroke prevention, see this from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Posted in Health/Fitness | No Comments »
Saturday, December 29th, 2007
Actress Julia Roberts is happy to spend more time with her family than working. But she finds new movie ‘Charlie Wilson’s War’ worth it.The sun.co.uk reports that Roberts did not have a problem playing a woman in her 30s though she herself is in her 40s.
She said: ‘I didn’t have any problems. If they asked me to play 30, I would do so without thinking. If anything, I just wanted to look like. She is open about having plastic surgery and so I was trying to do things with my face to make it appear as if I was 50, but had had some work done.
‘I wore tapes under my wig and tried to pull my face in different ways. It was challenging - one of those rare times where you go, ‘My face is just too tight already’.’
She added: ‘Turning 40 was great. I guess I feel relieved because everybody anticipates it so much for you that now we can all just relax - it’s done. I had a lovely party with all my kids and we had a great time. Getting older is nice. You are released from certain concepts as you age.’
Posted in Celebs | No Comments »
Saturday, December 29th, 2007
Well it’s here - the Year of 40. Today is the day it begins - my birthday. I have actually been looking forward to it to be honest. My little joke is that turning 40 beats the heck out of the alternative of not turning 40!It has come with little fanfare. I got cards from my parents and grandparents. My couple of close friends and I are going to dinner tonight and out for drinks which I am looking forward to. But I am sitting here lounging and waiting for that event. My son has been away for Christmas so I had Christmas with him this morning and we went to breakfast. They sang to me at IHOP and yes I had ice cream with my breakfast… hey I’m entitled right?!?!? After all I am 40 you know.
The Year of 39 was a good one for me. Of course there were ups and downs. The downs are I lost a great-grandmother at 102 (but she lived a good, long, healthy life) and had to put my dog to sleep (which broke my heart). But the ups are that I lost 70 pounds and have found a confidence that I didn’t know existed; I got a promotion at work and love my job; I continue to pursue my masters degree; I got a new puppy; and last, but certainly not least, I continue to see my teenage son grow into a caring, wonderful human being.
The Year of 39 was truly a blessing. And I can’t wait to see what the Year of 40 holds!
Posted in Celebrating | No Comments »
Thursday, December 20th, 2007
In 2003 I wrote a blog about the souls who were born in 1962 and 1963 who were turning 40 and searching. Life, at each stage, is about finding what is important and trying to create balance for oneself and those they interact with. We are discovering how dysfunctional many souls are based on their genetic code.
At age 40 many souls simple ‘crash’ and drop out one way or another.
Age 40 has always been a pivotal time for people in terms of relationships, careers, goals and dreams. In a world that is spiritual evolving, people want to work at a job they are passionate about. Thanks to investments, savings, inheritance, winnings, selling their homes and living off the profits, disability benefits and other things that create income, many chose not to work, take up create pursuits, and look at their life to evaluate who they are and what they are about.
At 40 a failed business or career, especially for someone with no educational background, can leave them with no income. Many people run family businesses that sell or dissolve when they hit 40 leaving them with no way to earn a living as they have no skills, education, or place to apply for work.
At 40, people with the opportunity often change careers and return to school, to do something different. In our reality, most people who are young will change careers many times in their lifetime, so be prepared. Most 40 years old are part of the ever changing computer world where gaining new skills is important.
Physically, at 40, there may be a need to be healthy after a period of neglect. As things may begin to sag a bit, plastic surgery can be another option. In some cases there is a complete makeover.
More than taking care of the physical body, one often looks at their emotional scale - mental health issues and substance abuse or other addictive patterns that need to be removed. To heal the physical body, one must heal the emotional. This can go from interventions, to medication, but it always starts with a person realizing they are out of control and 40 years old is time to face the facts. You can’t heal if you are in denial. Think about who you are hurting besides yourself.
Spirituality: In the 21st century, the quest for change often takes our 40 year old on a spiritual journey. There are endless avenues along the way which include books, sacred trips, classes, yoga, CD’s…whatever the soul attracts by synchronicity. That is the secret.
Romance at 40: The quest to find The One is often rekindled as works on them self and seeks a functional relationship. To become open and consciousness at 40 is to seek a partner of like mind, not a wounded soul, as that takes the person back to that which they have just overcome. Many people seek love through affairs, the transition person, Internet affairs in chat rooms or the like. By 40 one has hopefully made the choice to end a bad relationship or take it to another place. Our motto: “Either it works or it doesn’t.”
At 40, any way you cut it, you are not old and you will seek passion on all levels. You should know what type of relationship works for you, and as you attract partners be able to examine the issues and decided if you want to replay old patterns, have a passionate passing romance, or is this person going to be there for you. Can you be alone? Do you feel cheated?
40 is the age women must seriously look at whether or not they will have a child, if they have not had one. If they plan a child in their 40’s, do they want to have a teenager when they are in their 60’s?
Single people may have to face the facts that they may have to live their lives alone.
Life is not easy, but at 40, it is time to make it easier and more fun.
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Thursday, December 20th, 2007
In about two hours time, the daily calendar will read December 20. It will also mark my fortieth birthday, the big 4-0. As someone once told their mother, “Hey, it’s halfway to 80!” When my mother-in-law turned 40, the friends next door draped her house in black crepe paper.
All in all, I feel OK about turning 40. I love my life, I love my wife, I love my sons (both the one on the inside and the one on the outside). Yes, things could be different. I could be 25 pounds lighter, more financially stable and not suffering from occasional insomnia. We all want things.
Posted in Getting Closer, Gratitude | No Comments »
Thursday, December 20th, 2007
Next week I will be turning forty. What I find interesting is how much emphasis other people are placing on that fact. I was joking around in the break room today that I would be turning 21. Someone (younger than I) said, “You’re turning forty.” That isn’t the first time they said that when I joked about my age. Then someone else who is older than I am told me that when I turned forty to go to Disneyland and ride the rides that I used to enjoy, because I would find out after I turn forty that I will enjoy things more. I said, “Good Lord! I’m still the same person. I’m just a year older.”
Yes, I’ll be forty in a little over a week. So what? I’m not expecting to wake up that morning and look in the mirror and see someone remarkably older than the person I saw the day before. I’m not going to stop doing things that I like to do just because I’m forty. I’m still going to like to listen to my iPod. I’m still going to like taking long walks or going running or cycling. I’m still going to chase my dog around in the back yard like I did when I was a kid. The only difference will be I will have officially passed the forty year mark. I plan to continue to enjoy my life as I always have. Right now I still see age as a number. Maybe that will change with time, but not now.
To this point all of the things that I thought happened as people approached forty, haven’t happened. That is with the exception of graying hair.
About Mark and his Website
Posted in Getting Closer | No Comments »
Sunday, December 16th, 2007
by Bev Sklar
Forty is the chronological marker of middle-age. Fifty may be considered the new 40 — and while it’s a terrific attitude in terms of staying fit — it is not the middle of an average lifespan. Only a rare few live to be 100.
Turning 40 is an important time to evaluate your fitness level. Perhaps you look and feel fantastic because you’ve stayed fit and eaten healthy through your 30s. But maybe you’re not looking and feeling so hot and it’s time to dig in and change those bad habits for good.
Don’t ignore 40 and wait until 50 when it comes to staying active. New research reveals maintaining good physical function past the age of 40 will help reduce the risk of stroke. People who scored in the top quartile on a physical function test (e.g., kneeling, bending, lifting, climbing stairs) after 40 garnered a 50 percent lower risk of stroke than participants with the lowest test scores. The results were independent of known risk factors for stroke.
Posted in Fitness | No Comments »
Friday, December 14th, 2007
13 Days of random
In thirteen days I will be an age I didn’t even see coming. An age I don’t feel on most days, but an age I feel older than on others.
I likely don’t act my age much and I’m not sure if that is good or bad or indifferent. What I wonder about is that I read that as women (and maybe men too I have no idea) age they gain more confidence. They care less about what others think. I seem to be the opposite.
When I was younger I was pretty confident. I knew the things I could do, the things I couldn’t and was always willing to try something new. Then I spend eight years in a relationship with someone who did everything they could to knock me down a peg and somehow I never fully stood back upright.
Oh, I came out of it all ready to show the world and I think I did a good job of bluffing my way through a lot of stuff. But underneath I question everything and I hate it. I never used to do that. Fourteen years out of that relationship means that I can’t blame it for the way I am now. I need to get over it and get on with it. And sometimes I do.
But sometimes… I just wonder where the light has gone. Where has my lightness gone? Yeah, sounds morose and self-pitying and I don’t mean it to. I just really want to know. I want to be a good person and care about others and help others, but I also want to feel the same in return. Instead of overthinking.
It’s like a mini movie reel going around and around in my head. Which is why I can’t sleep. Which is why I take on more than I should. If I am just busy enough doing stuff then I don’t have to think (well, hopefully you know what I mean).
Shocker of all shockers is that I’m not worried about turning 40. I could worry about something absolutely asinine for hours on end, but turning 40 doesn’t phase me. Turning 30 was one of the best years of my life and I can only hope that turning 40 brings me another of those. Maybe it will bring me my confidence back. Maybe it will bring me my “I don’t care this is my opinion and I’m entitled to it” back.
I back down when I don’t feel like getting in to it. Except with my dh. My poor, wonderful dh. I know, I’m lucky. I’m not saying I want to start picking fights with people, but maybe I could have an opinion and not be scared to voice it for fear that people won’t like me. I know a lot of really opinionated people and I like them - ok - I might not like all of them, but several of them are close friends (luv ya SC!)
Wow, I’m rambling. This really isn’t about having an opinion. I do have those and maybe I will voice more and maybe not. I think I might still rather not get into it on some things. It’s more about feeling good about who I am and what I do and knowing that my God knows me and knows my heart.
It’s about letting go and just being me. At least I think it is. So as the days inch ever closer to another decade gone, maybe my mind will find some peace and maybe my heart will follow. And then maybe I will be able to sleep at night and do the things I need and want to do, to the best of my abilities and maybe… that will be enough.
Posted in Getting Closer | No Comments »
Friday, December 14th, 2007
Uma Thurman is on the cover of the January issue of Harper’s Bazaar. Here is an excerpt:
On life and turning 40: “‘Watch out, you might not have a career in your 20s’, so you scoot along and have some dark, down years. Suddenly, you get a career back and it’s ‘Watch out, in your 30s it’s going to be over.’ And God forbid you have a child. I remember telling an agent I was going to have a baby, and he said, ‘Oh, that’s great for you, but don’t even think about the business.’ Just so blatant! No one’s brought up the 40 thing with me lately, but I’m sure the prognosis is going to be doom and gloom. But no decade has been disastrous, and I’ve gotten away with murder anyway.”
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Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
By Craig Nathanson
How do you define your work? Do you look to your work to define meaning and joy or just to collect a paycheck? Each carries a different result. Those who seek meaning and joy in their work tend to choose carefully what they do; they know what they do helps determine who they are. For others who work just for the money, there is little expectation of meaning or joyjust as long as the paycheck rolls in. Career vs. vocational passion In my work, I am often asked, What is the difference between Career and Vocational Passion?
Jobs are just an exchange of services for money.
Careers are the same but with a better title. Sadly, for many people, jobs=careers=retirement=death. Can you avoid death? Probably not, but you can get more enjoyment and happiness out of each and every day before you get there.
Vocational passion means having a lifes work that you can do for your whole lifetime without the need to ever retire. Retirement is only for people who dont like what they do! Want a quick path to death? Retire and wait.
Sure, theres much to do including travel, relaxing and visiting friends, but this doesnt last long. For most of us, our later years will also bring tension and anxiety about how to spend our days and in many cases, how to make a contribution. Get going before your crisis hits! Claire Hegarty of Ireland wanted in mid-life to pursue her love of animals and start a pet sitting business. But it wasnt until she read about someone who became ill suddenly at the age of 41 and dropped dead in the middle of a stressful presentation did she decide to take action. Jennifer Clare of Australia was middle aged and overweight. She had little energy and little hope. One day, she decided to help herself and others by turning her challenges into a business that helps other people lose weight quickly through new creative strategies. Are you on a path to just retire, too? The French word for retire means to retreat, take out of circulation, move away from, withdraw from and rest. Is this what you want for the second half of your life? Heres the best way to retire and then die. * Worry about what others will think if you start to do what you love * Look for approval from others * Be afraid of change * Wait for a crisis to occur What happens in mid-life? We re-evaluate everything from our relationships, our work, our health, our finances and our emotional state. We need to recognize that this is healthy and important to do. How to gain purpose in your life now! Realize that what you do determines who you are.
Is your work a reflection of who you are and/or want to be?
Mid-life is a great time to:
* Align your abilities and your interests
* Reflect deeply about what you are passionate about
* Ensure your work is maximally expressive of your passions
* Ensure your work meets your personal needs
* Ensure that the work you do feels just right for you Is your purpose worth it to you? Only you can be the judge. Mid-life adults with purpose can experience:
* A greater sense of integrity and authenticity
* An experience of being more alive
* An increased feeling of contribution
* Stronger health and psychological well-being
* A life thats more congruent
* An acceptance of your own mortality and as a result, less fear of death and a greater sense of your life plans and their meaning * An increased sense of self-esteem and happiness Choose a purpose.
This is what Claire and Jennifer did and so can you.
The more important question is… When will you start?
Craig Nathanson is the author of “P Is For Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day” and a coaching expert who works with people over forty. Craigs second book, “Dont just retire and die”, is due out at the end of 2006. Craigs systematic approach, the trademark “Ten P” model, helps people break free and move toward the work they love. Visit Craigs online community at http://www.thevocationalcoach.com where you can sign up for a class or private coaching, or you can read other stories of mid-life change and renewal. Craig works with clients all over the world. Craigs office is located at 7960 Brentwood Blvd, Suite D in Brentwood, Ca. Craig can be reached at (925) 240-0770 or craig@thevocationalcoach.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Craig_Nathanson http://EzineArticles.com/?Over-40?-Is-Your-Work-Full-of-Purpose?&id=186605
Posted in Career Change | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
I will be turning the big 40, on June 29th. Now this isn’t a pathetic plea for birthday greetings. Although they are appreciated. No, This article is my take on turning the dreaded 40 years old. So light me a candle, and frost the cake, because I’m going to be telling you all some of my thoughts.
When I was in the second grade, I was certain I would never see forty. Hey, I was only 7 and the year 2000 sounded impossible. Being forty sounded extremely old to me. I think it does for all seven year olds.
I remember Sister Mary Margaret, my teacher, talking about how lucky we would be. To be turning forty, in the year 2000. It is going to be magical, she said. Magical? Was she kidding? I would have to be working, or have three or four kids by then. I would be too old to enjoy any of the “Magic”.
As I got a bit older, still in the same grammar school, I over heard a teacher saying she was forty. I hadn’t thought of her as old until then. I figured she had to be the oldest teacher in the school.
When I graduated eighth grade, all I could think of was turning fifteen. I did just a week after graduation. I dreamed of all of the fun and how grown up I was going to be in my teens.
That summer I went through a sort of metamorphosis. I made friends with a Public School girl, and came out of my sheltered life. I also got a lot more responsibility at that time. My mother had to go to work, and I had to really help with keeping up the house, cooking dinner and so much more.
There I was fifteen years old just coming into my own. I was also becoming an adult much earlier that I had planned. I don’t know how I did it. I was juggling new friendships, new responsibilities, and all of the things young teens go through. OK, My teens weren’t as carefree as I had planned. Yet I still told myself I was just a kid. For some reason, that made me feel better. I mean, hey, kids have it easy, right?
I made it through my teens, trudging along all the way. Oh, I had plenty of good times. Don’t feel sorry for me. I sure didn’t.
I remember the day I turned twenty-one, vividly. I hid in my bedroom nearly all day. Whether I liked it or not, I was fully, and legally an adult. I could no longer relax behind the vial of childhood. I was an adult, and like it or not, I had to act like one.
Actually I had been acting as an adult from fifteen, but now everyone expected of me. It was a given. Yet still, in the back of my mind I would never see forty. I don’t know why, at that point in my life, I still felt that way, but I did.
All through my thirties, I would cringe when anyone talked about the year 2000. Not because I thought the world would come to an end, but that I would. After thirty-five, it seemed like it was all anyone talked about. I couldn’t stand it. Didn’t they know I wasn’t going to see forty? Didn’t they care?
At thirty-nine my thinking started to change. It was starting to look like I just might make it to forty. I started, slowly at first, getting excited about forty. By October, I started my celebration plans. Now huge party that I know of any way. Just me, out on the acre, with a bottle of Jack Daniels enjoying the day. I will celebrate my turning forty, and life it’s self that had brought me this far. That far and beyond.
It has taken me thirty-nine years, but I no longer fear any oncoming age. I will embrace each one and give thanks for letting me get there.
Thanks, for allowing me to ramble a bit. I think we all need to do that once in a while.
Posted in Looking Back | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
I turned 40 yesterday.
Last week someone asked me how I felt about turning 40. My first words were, “I don’t like it!”
Then this woman who I knew, Michele, dropped dead. Literally. I guess she wasn’t feeling well, had just had bronchitis and shingles, was having trouble breathing, but still went out for a walk with a friend early in the morning. Michele was really competitive. We played softball together, and she played really hard. So I could see her walking through the shortness of breath, walking through the bronchitis. She got home, took her kids to school, came back home, and literally dropped dead in her kitchen. She had a defective heart valve.
This hit me especially hard because Michele was 39. She died 4 days before my birthday, and I remember telling someone, “Please let me make it to Sunday!”
So I made it to Sunday, but I spent my last day of my 30s at a wake for a woman who never made it to 40. A woman who had 3 kids too, all the same age as mine, a boy and two girls, like me. This woman was well-known and well-loved. The wake was a mob scene. They closed off the street, there were four sessions and the traffic was insane. I had to wait for nearly an hour to get in. God bless my friend Eileen, who was there for me and who drank shots of Grand Marnier with me beforehand to quell our nerves, then drank a bottle of wine with me afterward.
So I’m here to say, 40’s not so bad. I’m alive. My husband started a new consulting that requires him to be out of town most of the week. But hey, he’s working. The kids are great, even if they are fighting like cats and dogs all the time.
So in a total about face, I’m glad to be 40. I’m glad I made it.
Posted in Gratitude | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
18 days until we mark the day that I was pushed into this realm of reality 40 years ago.
Turning 40 is disappointing,scary and exciting.
1. I am not a size 6 like I hoped I’d be
2. My hair is natural a natural, curly MESS
3. I own a house, my favorite car and dog
4. I am going on a cruise for 7 days with my daughter this summer
5. I am presently unemployed
6. I am going back to school in the spring
7. I am writing a book FOR REAL I got almost 200 pages
8. I found a kitten
9. I’m getting rid of the kitten by next week
10. I finally confessed how I feel to a man that I’ve been seeing for 4 yrs
11. I have been a very lonely person for a long time
12. I no longer have close dependable friends in my life
13. My son is homeless
14. My daughter is selfish
15. I am overweight by 80lbs
16. I am being interviewed as Moxy Woman for December and have no documentation of my accomplishments to share
17. My house is still a mess
18. I finished my island
19. My screen door is still not hung but it’s screened and sitting on the front porch ready
20. I found vitamins that I like
21. I am still depressed but I dont want to do meds
22. I am catching up on my netflix movies
23. I have a warrant out for my arrest
24. I am tired of faciliating the women’s group
25. I am going to powerwash my house this week
26. I am going to clean my garage out
27. I love italian toast with extra berries from Empire onWestheimer
28. I don’t eat as much as I used to
29. I like my hair most days
30. I miss my son
31. I really want new friends who live close. My old friends make promises they can’t keep
32. I’m getting my hairdone and a massage on my birthday
33. I love my dog Biko
34. I’m going to major in Psychology/Humanities
35. I need to find Choc-a-bloc
36. I’m scared to get a mammogram
37. I have no plans for New Year’s Eve
38. My brother and his family are supposed to come for Christmas dinner
39. I am still celibate and I’m not sure why
40. I am soooo looking forward to 40!!!!!!!!
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Saturday, December 8th, 2007
Turning 40 has so many expectations!!! What about a woman who turns 40 and is married with no kids? That sure does raise more eyebrows than just the age itself. Even at 39 people thought “poor you, but there is hope”. Hey- ever think some people just don’t want to have children? hmm Hopefully at 40 the questions about why no kids will finally cease. Ahh.. a good thing about the new decade in life!
Posted in Aging | No Comments »
Thursday, December 6th, 2007
Turning 40 quotes:
“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
“Forty isn’t old, if you’re a tree”
“At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment.”
Yep, that’s right, yesterday I turned 40. Woo hoo! I took the day off, spent it with my precious family and ate a lot. It was good to be the birthday king.
My lovely wife and I were talking about history yesterday; the historical account of my turning 30. I had forgotten how traumatic it was for me. I did not take it well. But interestingly, entering a new decade yesterday was a great day. No fuss, no stress, no hand wringing and no trauma. I stumbled upon a “turning 40” blog today and I got to tell you, either those folks are not doing well or I’m the most well adjusted human on earth.
I would imagine it has something to do with my love for God having grown, my love for my wife having grown and my love for my children having grown. I don’t get warm fuzzies very often (my wife can verify), but that last sentence brings them.
At 40 I realize, maybe more than ever, what’s truly important.
Have an awesome day today!
Wayne
Posted in Looking Back, New Outlook | No Comments »
Saturday, December 1st, 2007
From The Adventures of GrimJeff
Today is my last day in my 30’s, and as I look ahead to the arrival of my 40’s I thought I’d share some of my thoughts/feelings/observations on the subject. Because like it or not, it’s coming.
1) Where has all the time gone? No, I mean really?
2) I guess this means that I’m an adult now. Despite the onset of middle age, I still think of myself as a kid most of the time who’s masquerading as an adult.
3) As cliched as it sounds, you really are as young as you feel.
4) Remember in A Christmas Carol where Scrooge, upon realizing that he is in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come says something like, “I fear you. More than any other spirit that I have encountered”? That’s how I feel about turning 40.
5) What is it with our culture that we tend to see years ending in a “0″ as milestones of some sort?
6) It’s just another birthday.
7) You only turn 40 once, but if you think about it, you only turn 33 once, or 12 once, or 78 once.
Those books about sex over 40 or fitness over 40 or life after 40 really annoy me.
9) As my good friend John says, “We’re at the top of the hill”, as in preparing to be over said hill in the years to come.
10) My first memory is of playing with a toy gorilla in the dirt driveway of my Mom’s first house. It was a trailer. Maybe because it’s my first memory I use it as the frame of reference whenever I look back over my life…
11) I’m more comfortable in my own skin now than I was at 20 and 30.
12) You know, on some deep, irrational level, I thought that I might somehow live forever.
13) Is it a sign of wisdom to say that I genuinely think that I’m wiser now that I’m older?
14) What’s the big deal?
15) It’s a good time to be alive.
16) No, I am NOT writing 80 thoughts about turning 80 when I turn 80…
17) I’m going to be halfway to 80.
18) I wonder if my hairline will recede a lot in my 40’s?
19) Speaking of hair, I’m noticing more “salt” in the “pepper”, if you catch my meaning.
20) I’m only half way through this list? What made me think that I could bang out 40 ideas when I started out writing this?!
21) I wrote that last sentence after sentence 11 so I wouldn’t forget to when I got to it. I’m writing this sentence after writing number 12.
22) Getting back to hair, I don’t mind gray hairs so much from a a color perspective. No, I hate them because they tend to be all twisted and dead.
23) I could die tomorrow.
24) I could live to a ripe old age.
25) At what point does from go from ripe to overripe?
26) Would we age better if we were placed in brown paper bags? You know, like pears?
27) I recently realized that energy has more to do with health habits and less to do with age.
28) I’m glad that my wife and I are close in age.
29) Only 10 more sentences to go!
30) 30 seemed kind of like a big deal, until I got to 40 that is…
31) Someone called me an “Old Soul” a while ago. I was really honored by that.
32) I refuse to grow up!
33) Thanks for reading this far.
34) I’m at peace with this.
35) I can’t believe I’m only 10 years away from 50!
36) I am not over.
37) I am just beginning.
38) I will continue to grow.
39) -The number of lashes Jesus received when held prisoner by the Romans. (40 was said to be fatal).
40) My favorite quote seems appropriate: “Death is nor the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies within us while we live.”
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Saturday, December 1st, 2007
On Turning Forty
The unthinkable has happened: the dawn of my fortieth birthday.
I’ve tried ignoring it, pooh-poohing it, working through the psychology of it, and even re-naming it (a fellow author taught me to call each subsequent birthday the “Nth” anniversary of my thirtieth birthday). But it just won’t go away.
So, in the spirit of having joyfully stayed at home with my children all these years, and of looking ahead at what is supposed to be my prime (assuming I have anything left), I thought I’d make a list of all the “good” things about turning forty. You are welcomed to laugh at me, commmiserate with me, or save the list for your own fortieth birthday when it rolls around (if it hasn’t already).
Turning forty means:
1. I am officially too old to be labeled a “twit.” I was definitely a “twit” when I married Eric. I spent years moving in and out of twitdom as I matured (too slowly). There might be other labels that now apply, but “twit” doesn’t work anymore.
2. I’m that much closer to not having to buy tampons anymore.
3. The stretchmarks of childbirth no longer phase me. Nobody expects a forty-year-old woman to worry about tiny cosmetic details like stretchmarks. Crow’s feet, yes, but not stretchmarks.
4. I will no longer wake up in the morning and realize that I’ve got poop under my fingernails from a middle-of-the-night diaper change.
5. Nobody will assume that it’s my child who is screaming at the top of his lungs in the toddler class at church. I will appear far too mature and “together” to have a screaming child of that particular size and age. It’s far more likely that it’s my not-quite-teenaged child who has climbed one of the trees in the parking lot and is frightening the old ladies.
6. I can smirk at all the eighties fashions that have reappeared on the store racks, in full confidence of knowing that, twenty years after the fact, I would not be caught dead wearing any of them.
7. I can go to the mall without a stroller, diaper bag, box of wipies, band-aide supply, sippy cup, or Baby Gap clothing size card.
8. I no longer have to worry about young men in grocery stores, gas stations, and the post office mistaking my friendliness for flirtation. They will automatically assume that I’m old enough to be their mother and won’t give me another thought.
9. I can give advice to young mommies and they will actually listen to me because, after all, “She’s over forty and must know SOMETHING about raising kids.”
10. I have made peace with my boobs. If they want to rest somewhere around the level of my navel, so be it. They’ve worked hard nourishing four babies, and I’m too old to obsess about them anymore. Besides, that’s what push-up bras are for.
11. I no longer have to peel grapes, slice raisins, de-crust bread, crush peas, or cut peanut butter sandwiches into microscopic squares. In fact, I can pretty much throw food at my children and they will catch it and eat it. (Okay, not really — but almost.)
12. My vocabulary no longer consists of ridiculous sentences like, “We don’t go pee-pee in the tub,” “Let Mommy wipe that boogie off of your face,” and “Mommy is going to bite those piggies, yes she is! She’s going to bite those stinky, little piggies and eat them for lunch! Ready? Here she goes! Here goes Mommy biting your stinky piggies!”
13. I no longer have any hang-ups about sex. Seriously. There’s something about the “been there, done that” factor that renders it all rather irreverent and matter-of-fact. Well, most of the time, anyway.
14. People have stopped asking me if I’m going to have any more children. And I’ve stopped crying about having to say, “No.”
15. My husband still calls me “beautiful,” and now I know that it has a far deeper meaning than simply what’s on the surface.
16. I haven’t had a real zit in over six months. For someone who’s struggled with her complexion since the age of thirteen, that is quite remarkable.
17. I don’t step on Legos in the middle of the night anymore. There’s nothing that brings me one step away from sudden murder as quickly as stepping on a Lego. Of course, I haven’t bought any Legos for my younger son. I may never buy any Legos for him. I’ve done my time with the Legos.
18. When I go out alone, nobody knows whether or not I have any children. I don’t have that deer-in-the-headlights, spit-up soaked, where-did-my-IQ-go look about me anymore. I don’t have watermelon breasts that scream to the world, “This woman has to rush home and nurse her baby before she explodes before your eyes,” either.
19. I haven’t engaged in a frantic, pre-bedtime search for a three-inch strip of “blankie” for ages. In fact, all four of my children are actually capable of tucking themselves in. I kiss them good-night because I want to, not because it’s part of an elaborate, nightly ritual.
20. I am officially entering the “prime of my life,” which many say falls between the ages of forty and seventy. That makes me a mere babe in the grand scheme of things! I am married to the Love of my Life, I have four of the neatest kids I’ve ever laid eyes on, and I weigh less now than I did before I was pregnant with my first child. When all is said and done, I’ve come to this place in my life with a smile on my face and a song in my heart (the gray hairs on my head have been conveniently hidden with coloring and highlights).
If I can just manage to get carded when Eric takes me out for my birthday dinner, I’ll be set for life. The last time I was carded, I was thirty-six. Surely four years haven’t made THAT much of a difference, have they? (Please don’t answer that.)
I feel much better now. Forty, here I come!
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Saturday, December 1st, 2007
The following story is excerpted from:
A Cup of Comfort for Women
I’m turning forty, soon. And, as with other milestones in life, I feel the need to write about it. How do I feel? Well, I don’t feel forty, that’s the first thing. I feel good. Great, in fact. So, the number doesn’t bother me. What does, is the decade that will surely follow. With every other decade I’ve had a distinct set of goals, things I felt I needed to accomplish in order to move on to the next phase of my life. Not so with my forties. So that leaves me feeling . . . uncertain. I’ve never not had something to go after. And that makes me something I’m not entirely familiar with: comfortable.
The twenties were, indeed, roaring for me. I didn’t so much as bat an eye when I left nineteen behind (no doubt in a smoky bar on my college campus). I felt as if I had ten more years to party. As it turned out, I did. After college, the smoky bar turned into a beach as I took the growing-up show on the road and ended up in Southern California. What a ball I had discovering the beginning of adulthood. I worked at launching my career in advertising and worked harder still at packing the most fun I could into life. Birthdays came and went, and I could not have cared less.
When I looked in the mirror and saw a thirty-year-old, things got a little stickier. Then, I realized that time was of the essence if I was going to have everything I ever wanted: marriage, children, someone to make goofy cookies with. Southern California was everything I needed it to be as a young woman, but if I was going to accomplish my lifelong dreams, I’d better head back to the heartland. In the Midwest, chances were better that men not only would commit to a lunch date the following week, but might go for much more.
I was right. My thirties were very prolific. I met, lived with, married, and procreated—twice, in fact—with my wonderful husband. Now, I have my six-year-old marriage, four-year-old son, and two-year-old daughter to help me blow out forty candles. Whew (personal peeve—I loathe exclamation marks).
Now what? If I were able to make a wish and to not be the introspective freak that I am, I’d wish to remain on this path I’ve made for myself. I’d like my marriage to remain intact, maybe even breathe some life back into it now that I’m not a walking wet nurse. I’d like my children to continue to grow and amaze me with their fresh-faced enthusiasm. I’d like to continue juggling my friendships as best I can, considering that we all have young children who throw up on our black shirts just as we’re trying to get out the door to meet each other. I’d really like to have the privilege of watching my mother grow older gracefully for many more years to come. These are goals, I suppose. But “maintenance” isn’t something I can wrap my spirited, ambitious self around for the next ten years.
By this point in life, I know myself pretty well. I’ve come to accept that if I wasn’t a size six at twenty, I can’t expect to be a size six now. I know that if too many people are near me when I try to put on makeup, I start to sweat. I know what I can let go of and what I need to work out so that I don’t feel anxious. And, I’m telling you, I need something that I can strive for during the next decade.
I’m a walker, a Forrest Gump-like walker who just doesn’t know when to stop. One day, though, I did. Even though I hike the same trail through the same woods every single day, I saw a tree not unlike all the others, but on that day, it stood out to me. And so I stopped. Maybe it was the recent rain, maybe it was the fact that the yellow leaves had all but abandoned their job of announcing my birthday (autumn, to the rest of the world) and fallen at my feet. I don’t know why, but in that instant, I knew what I was supposed to do with this next chapter of my life.
That tree stood out to me, because, overnight, the leaves had fallen and revealed what keeps it all together: its trunk, its backbone—lustrous and strong and reaching toward the sky. As I looked around, with both feet firmly planted on the ground, my woods were no longer a beautiful blur. They were vast and rich with possibilities. I felt a sense of discovery I hadn’t had, or taken the time to have, in a very long time. It made me excited to go on. Even though I’d be moving in the same direction I’d been going all along, it would be with a new focus.
In my forties, I’m going to pay attention to something I’d almost lost track of: myself. I’ll be moving forward, not only as someone’s wife or mother, sister or daughter, writer or friend, but as the woman I’ve become somewhere along the way. In this decade, I intend to slow down and think and appreciate and learn. And even if I have no great new accomplishment to show for the next ten years, I know the process will be exhilarating.
—Julie Clark Robinson
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Saturday, December 1st, 2007
I’ve got 6 days left in my 30’s. Another decade almost gone. I’ve been reflecting on what it means to me to turn 40. It seems like a huge milestone in one respect and yet it’s really just another day older. I started to think of the things I’ve done in my 30’s, but as it turns out there are too many things that make me cringe with regret and embarrassment. I suppose I can sum it up by saying that I’m adding “Closure” to the list of things to do in my forties and that I’ve spent the last three years working on a new lifestyle. I’ve been married, soon to be divorced. I’ve had a baby, which turns out to be the biggest blessing that has ever happened to me, despite the fact that I am a single mom. I wear that label with pride. My son, as it turns out has given me strength and purpose and taught me what unconditional love is. I can’t say I’ve perfected that with any romantic partner in my life, but if I can love my son unconditionally, at least I know i did the most important thing in my life right. Turning 40 is a time for me to reflect on relationships, careers, goals and dreams. In my old life it would have been a time to get really really drunk. I would like to think that I am spiritually evolving. I would love to work at a job I am passionate about, but today I’m simple grateful to have my job. I have no inheritance, lottary winnings, home to sell, company stocks, or other things that produce income, so choosing not to work, take up creative pursuits or live a life of leisure is not an option. What I do have is a spiritual connection with God and a desire to be a better person. I can try and make the best of who I am and on some days that is easier said than done. So CHEERS TO ME and being 40….very soon.
Posted in Getting Closer | No Comments »
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