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Today is my day. I’ve thought a lot about how I might feel on this day, and even blogged about, declaring that I will have a mid-life focus instead of a mid-life crisis. So here I am simply enjoying the transition into another decade. I’m aiming for grace, speaking my truth, and choosing beauty. Somehow, turning 40 makes all of these things so much easier.

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I just turned 40. I am a Korean American living in the motherland and well, I’m having mixed feelings. Friends urged me to have a birthday party but I was too down about turning 40 to go through with it, though I’ll meet a few friends for the occasion.

They say 40 is the new 30, but I’m not feeling it. I am single with no children, a few misses in the marriage category, and for the most part unlucky in love. They say 40 is when you realize that life starts to go down, but that depression eases after mid-life crisis peaks at 43.

Sorry for the depressing talk.

I just thought I would share my experience of turning 40 as it is one of those milestones that we achieve with mixed feelings.

I decided to go in denial and took a mini sabbatical to Latin America to learn Spanish instead of having the big 40th birthday party with friends and family. I spent the initial part of the trip with a travel age of 35 thereby celebrating my “36th” birthday party in wine country at an asado with fellow travellers!

I think 40 gives you the confidence to try out new experiences such as a 50km bike ride in a gorge, scaling a precipice over a waterfall barefoot, socialising with fellow travellers a decade younger, being wined and dined by men a decade younger…

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Wow, I turned 40 on June 29 and I made it through the day without flipping out! Maybe it will hit me hard when I wake up tomorrow, but it doesn’t seem like a big deal at this moment. I remember when my own mother was 40. I was 15 myself and back then, I thought she was sooooo old… Today, I’m the one reaching that milestone and my perspective is obviously different. I was 36 when I had my first child and 38 for the second, so to my 15-year-old self, I’d look quite ancient!

Growing up (and eventually growing older) has quite a few advantages in my opinion. When I turned 20, I didn’t know anything about life and I didn’t care. The world was completely open and out there for me to discover. Over the next 10 years I figured things out and found myself, including by moving to another continent and sticking to a job I would enjoy long-term. By the time I turned 30, I felt like I finally graduated to adulthood, and it was a cool place to be. Another 10 years have gone by and at 40, I feel like I have proven myself to other people (I have a career and I can handle two kids, well, most of the time) and now I’d like to prove to myself that I can develop some other talents and interests. Which talents, I’m not sure yet, but that’s what makes life interesting every day.

And yes, my “40 and fabulous” T-shirt from Cafe Press is in the mail, and I can’t wait to wear it! To all moms out there 40 and over, carpe diem! As KebMo says it so well, “life is beautiful, life is wondrous…”

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I turn 40 at the end of 2012, just months before the supposed 12/22/2012 prediction of the Apocalypse/Cataclysmic World Change…or whatever version of whatever prophecy you believe. Do I think the world will end? Not really, but I have to admit the recent rash of natural and manmade disasters got me thinking…what if? What if I turn 40- a decade I think will be empowering, amazing and freeing- and the world ends? Why not start doing all those things I want to do now, so I don’t have regrets…just in case?

So I silenced the inner ‘Debby Downer’- you know that voice that says ‘you can’t do that’ or ‘you don’t deserve that,’ and squashed the anxiety of ‘people will think you’re crazy.’ And I started doing the things I’ve always wanted to do: being blonde for the summer, finding a spiritual teacher, getting a rocking ass, building my kids’ clubhouse, etc.

I plan to continue and have encouraged others to start living their deepest desires. I mean, if you don’t do it now…then when?

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I am turning 40 on the 24th of June, only next week. Im so excited. Im heading off to New Zealand for a year to study Film making on the 29th. I have worked hard for a year to save and have written many scripts for movie ideas. My dreams are coming true! To have a career from my creative abilities. And I have a successful online business that will ‘come with me’. Onwards and upwards!

The ugly – one year ago I left my abusive partner, no children thank goodness! It took me 8 months to sort out who the hell I was! After being bed wench, cuppa maker, housemaid & cook for 13 years I lost myself.

I feel ‘free’ I am reclaiming myself! Yes I can save money! Yes I can have my own business! Yes I can pay all my bills, Yes I can travel, Yes I can hope, Yes I bloody well can….

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I turn 40 this Saturday, June 19th. I am not looking forward to this.

I am already dissatisfied with the way I look. Boobs have started their downward spiral, body could stand to lose about 50 lbs., teeth could use a professional whitening treatment or veneers, deep wrinkle in the forhead could use some Botox…the list seems endless. Even more so, I feel like I haven’t accomplished many of the things that I’ve wanted to do for ME.

I feel like I’m complaining, but I’m not. I have a wonderful husband, 3 beautiful daughters, a home…but I have definitely slacked off in what I want for myself. I have never been a good self-motivater or good at tooting my own horn, so I’m not sure exactly where to start. Or maybe I do know where to start but feel overwhelmed. Anyways, good luck and be strong to all the women out there…we all go through it one way or another.